New Years Resolutions

In no particular order:


Finish the two big writing projects that I have on my desk.

Eat better, feed the family better food

make a fantastic cake

exercise (of course...)

walk the dogs more

Take a vacation with the husband and the kid

have at least one DATE a month with the husband - that does NOT involve an opening night or theatre or work

Spend more time with Friends

Use the telescope with the kid

the backyard (nothing more needs to be said)

the kitchen (paint those cabinets and the walls)

be better about money and really get a handle on the cash flow

No more new TV Shows TiVoed!!!!!

Less TV... less TV... less TV... more books

End of the year wrap up

So 2008 was a most unpleasant year. With My dad having a stroke, a tree falling in our yard, finding out that I'm going to be unemployed at the end of Jan.... the list goes on and on...

But - the kid is amazing. My friends rock. And the husband is fantastic.

The book club is still plugging along and I was able to read some really phenomenal books this year - a lot of things I would not have read if it weren't for the fabulous women in my group...

So here's my list!

Books
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (started in 2007)
The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham
Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson
Options by the Fake Steve Jobs
Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch By Neil
Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
I am America (and So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Perfect Madness by Judith Warner
The Three Martini Playdate by Christie Mellor
The Letters of Claire Clairmont
The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman
Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Night by Elie Wiesel
The White Castle by Orhan Pamuk
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon
The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie King
Interred In Their Bones by Jennifer Lee Carrell
Reduced Shakespeare: The Attention-Impaired Reader's Guide to the World's Best
Playwright [Abridged] by Reed Martin & Austin Tichneor
House of Mondavi by Julia Flynn Siler
Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver
The Universe in a Single Atom by His Holiness the Dali Lama
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan
Picasso’s Guernica by Anthony Blunt
Pablo Picasso by Mary Ann Caws
Picasso’s Weeping Woman by Mary Ann Caws
Picasso In the War Years by Stephen Nash, Editor

The highlight of my movie viewings this year was that on our 10th wedding anniversary, the husband and I took the kid to see Wall-E. It was the best romantic film of the year.

Films
The Good German (DVD)
The Simpsons Movie (DVD)
Fast Food Nation (HBO)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (DVD)
Eastern Promises (DVD)
Curious George (HBO) (many many many viewings)
Futurama: Bender’s Big Score (DVD)
Babel (DVD)
Evan Almighty (DVD)
Eragorn (HBO)
Oceans Thirteen (DVD)
The DiVinci Code (DVD)
Juno (airplane)
The Savages (airplane)
The Third Man (DVD)
No Country For Old Men (DVD)
The Bourne Ultimatum (DVD)
Live Free and Die Hard (DVD) – okay I slept through the beginning,,, so I guess it doesn’t count.
Blades of Glory (HBO) – saw the end first…
Sweeny Todd (DVD)
A Good Year (HBO)
This Film is Not Yet Rated (DVD)
Meet the Robinsons (DVD)
The Aristocats (DVD) – reALLY I HAD NEVER SEEN IT
Knocked Up (HBO)
Recount (HBO)
Indian Jones and the Crystal Skull – in the theatre
The Departed (Blueray)
Music & Lyrics (Blueray)
National Treasure 2 :Book of Secrets (DVD)
Jesus Camp (DVD) --- didn’t make it thru – had enough
Hairspray (HBO)
A Night at the Museum (HBO)
300 (HBO)
Dan in Real Life (Blueray)
Ready? OK! - in the theatre
The Darjeeling Limited (DVD)
Persepolis (DVD)
Wall-E - in the Theatre!!!
The Will Be Blood (DVD)
3:10 to Yuma (DVD)
Searching for Deborah Winger (DVD)
La Vie en Rose (DVD)
Shoot ‘em up (DVD) –okay I missed the first 20 minutes and the husband brought me up to speed
Hellboy 2 (DVD)
Tinkerbell (DVD) – oh so many times
Get Smart (DVD)
Hancock (DVD)
Mr. Magoriums Magical Emporium (HBO)
Flushed Away (HBO)
Trifels (screening at Pixar)
Picasso : Sex, Magic, Death
The Mystery of Picasso
Burn After Reading (DVD)
The Mummy 3 (DVD)
Stardust (DVD)

facebook

I just realized that Facebook has been sucking me away from my blogs. Not just this one, but the one I have for my kid too... Okay and my own laziness. But the distraction of Facebook is really intense. I find myself checking it all the time - and now that people use it to e-mail me as well - it makes a fourth e-mail account I have to check.
ARG.

But something interesting happened yesterday. I have a bunch of "friends" on FB - a lot of them are people that I've done shows with, etc. My high school boyfriend "friended" me about a month ago. Okay. Whatever. Well, his wife "friended" me today. I have met her once about 8 years ago (which was the last time I saw the old boyfriend). So, what is that about? I am tempted to form some interesting theories about why she wants to be my "friend" - but she only looks good in one scenario. Perhaps I will use the good one...

My spouse is also on Facebook - and I have no clue who some of his friends are - and frankly, I don't want to be "friends" with everyone he is "friends" with.

Anyway - I'm cutting down on my FB time.

its interesting what comes out

Warning: stream of consciousness ahead:

I had my book club last night. We read Michael Pollan's THE OMNIVORE'S DILEMMA. I was really surprised by what came out of my mouth during the discussion. Obviously the food I give my child has been on my mind a lot lately. My husband and I could both loose a few pounds and I want to set up healthy eating practices for my child. But the force in which these things have been eating away at my subconscious surprised me last night. As one of my friends put it - this book came at just the right time for me.

Now, I am not talking becoming a vegetarian again... when I had the realization that I could kill, clean and eat a chicken (thanks Gramps for doing a demo your farm when I was 8) I knew that that wouldn't happen. I just want the best possible food for my family. I want food (in the words of Fight Club) that is clean. I didn't know that cows don't eat grass anymore. They eat corn. Thanks to FAST FOOD NATION I don't think I could eat a fast-food burger knowing what the government allows an okay manure level to be.

I realized that this has been building because of the company I keep. My "Mommies" (friends from the mom group) try to eat organic, watch what food is put on their tables, cook amazing food, have sustainable gardens and do all that within strict budgets.

I was raised on Swansons, Mama Celeste, Fruity Pebbles and fast food. My mom is an excellent cook, but my mom also raised three kids on her own and didn't have time. I don't blame her for my belief that all fish tastes like fish-sticks. I blame the system that makes crappy foods cheaper than healthy foods. So infuriating.

But I also realize that this has been building because I am watching my little sister battle a weight problem. She used to be 100lbs (and 5'7") - obviously super-model skinny. Now she has gotta be 180lbs. She's trying, but with some medical complications, and stress, and a new culture infusing her home, and an over 30 year old metabolism -- how she stayed so thin before is not working now. I talk with her about nutrition and then go to a party at her house where the food (albeit super yummy - she is an awesome cook) can clog arteries just by looking at it. When she told me she only drinks whole milk I damn near fell over. Now, she is working hard on the problem, which is now a health issue. But I am really worried.

Something happened to me last week. I decided not to go to Safeway. I realized that they didn't have what I wanted: whole wheat pasta, dried mango (without sugar). So I went to the community market and found what I was looking for. I am of course worried that I am now going to be spending more money - but one of my friends said to me last night that she took her regular shopping list (and she normally shops at New Leaf) and went to Safeway - and spent about the same amount of money.

I need to track this for myself.

The other thing I talked about was food waste. I am horrified by the amount of food I throw away. Yes a compost heap is on the way. But still... FIVE avocados tossed in the trash? I realized that we buy in bulk and only once a week and things go off. All the good intentions I have about making lunch and bringing it to work go the way of the dodo when I am confronted with dining out for lunch... And now with the prospect of being unemployed in a couple months - I need to be watching the $$$.

So what do I do?

I think the Europeans have a great idea. Lots of small trips to the store, to buy fresh meat and produce. Yes, this will e a big pain in the ass since the husband and I both work. But why not try it. And make eating an event. The rush to get back to the TV or the computer has to stop. Gobbling dinner is not good for you. hen the husband and I eat out, we don't care how long it takes (unless we have plans after) why can't we have that same attitude at home and savor the food.

Also - what about creating a weekly menu? When we did the South Beach years ago, we followed that and did really well. Perhaps that is the type of regime I/we need.

For some of my friends eating is a political act. I'm not quite there yet. Right now it is about eating food that is delicious and healthy. Its is developing habits for my child that will give her joy in dining and a positive self image and a healthy life.

Enough for now. Polls have closed in Ind, KY and NH. Gotta watch.

where have I been

Wow - I haven't posted in a while. Well, life has been crazy.
I went into rehearsal at the same time the spouse was doing a show out of town. Then he went out of town again to go into tech at the same time I went into tech on my show. Besides trying to be present for my actors, make sure the kid was okay, and go thru a doggie surgery (she's fine) - it was a bit stressful.

Now the thing I have been avoiding for the last two months is on the forefront of my mind. My day job rests in the hands of a couple foundations. Now, normally I'd say - oh there's a great chance my position will continue to be funded. But with the current economic climate... most bets are off.

So I now get to set some priorities. My web page & sending my resume out into the world.

Anyone need a director?

The end of days....

I am not one to embrace prophecies about the end of the world... but... today...


So the kid and I went into Kmart. I wanted to get her a new toothbrush and they have them super cheap there. So we walk in and I put her in a cart. She says, "Mommy I want a blue cart". I said, "the carts are red." She said, "over there! I want a blue one." I looked and sure enough - blue carts. At Safeway and Home Depot she rides in those toy car carts... So we went over and I put her in. It was only at that moment I discovered, to my horror, that they are TV CARTS.






Yep. The kid has a TV in the cart with them - they can watch a Dora, Backyardigans (sp?) or Wonderpets. "F**K" says I as I am now committed to pushing her around in this abomination. The screen above intermittently plays advertisements. And plays them LOUDLY. The ads - for hair and relaxation something - seemed geared towards women. I tried to figure out what triggers the ad - I think it played every time I stopped for more than three minutes.

So what should have been a 5 minute excursion - turned into a 23 minute one as I had to let the entire episode play... otherwise there would have been screaming. In retrospect - I should have just let the screaming happen.

I guess soon we will find out if Androids dream of electric sheep...

Amazon's selections

So when you sign on to Amazon - you get your home page - which they tell ya to get a little something off your wish list or make recommendations based on your last couple purchases. Now, I have two wish lists - one for me and one for the kid. I recently added a bunch of books and toys to her list. I also just bought the DVD of THE SWARM for work - research on a show.

So underneath the "Get yourself a little something" which was compelety filled with stuff from my daughter's list (groovy girls and OZ books) it had "More to explore" which was all horror movies - and I mean the really scary ones from the late 70s early 80s... the ones that caused nightmares in me as a kid...

And you should see the combination of stuff that comes up when I hit "my amazon".

Makes me giggle.

Gloria Steinem article

She’s Phyllis Schlafly, Only Younger
by Gloria Steinem

September 4, 2008

Here’s the good news: Women have become so politically powerful that even the anti-feminist right wing—the folks with a headlock on the Republican Party—are trying to appease the gender gap with a first-ever female vice president. We owe this to women— and to many men too—who have picketed, gone on hunger strikes or confronted violence at the polls so women can vote. We owe it to Shirley Chisholm, who first took the “white-male-only” sign off the White House, and to Hillary Rodham Clinton, who hung in there through ridicule and misogyny to win 18 million voters.

But here is even better news: It won’t work. This isn’t the first time a boss has picked an unqualified woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most other women want and need. Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It’s about making life more fair for women everywhere. It’s not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It’s about baking a new pie.

Selecting Sarah Palin, who was touted all summer by Rush Limbaugh, is no way to attract most women, including die-hard Clinton supporters. Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton. Her down-home, divisive and deceptive speech did nothing to cosmetize a Republican convention that has more than twice as many male delegates as female, a presidential candidate owned and operated by the right wing and a platform that opposes pretty much everything Clinton’s candidacy stood for—and that Barack Obama’s still does. To vote in protest for McCain/Palin would be like saying, “Somebody stole my shoes, so I’ll amputate my legs.”

This is not to beat up on Palin. I defend her right to be wrong, even on issues that matter most to me. I regret that people say she can’t do the job because she has children in need of care, especially if they wouldn’t say the same about a father. I get no pleasure from imagining her in the spotlight on national and foreign policy issues about which she has zero background, with one month to learn to compete with Senator Joe Biden’s 37 years’ experience.

Palin has been honest about what she doesn’t know. When asked last month about the vice presidency, she said, “I still can’t answer that question until someone answers for me: What is it exactly that the VP does every day?” When asked about Iraq, she said, “I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq.”

She was elected governor largely because the incumbent was unpopular, and she’s won over Alaskans mostly by using unprecedented oil wealth to give a $1,200 rebate to every resident. Now she is being praised by McCain’s campaign as a tax cutter, despite the fact that Alaska has no state income or sales tax. Perhaps McCain has opposed affirmative action for so long that he doesn’t know it’s about inviting more people to meet standards, not lowering them. Or perhaps McCain is following the Bush administration habit, as in the Justice Department, of putting a job candidate’s views on “God, guns and gays” ahead of competence. The difference is that McCain is filling a job one 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency.

So let’s be clear: The culprit is John McCain. He may have chosen Palin out of change-envy, or a belief that women can’t tell the difference between form and content, but the main motive was to please right-wing ideologues; the same ones who nixed anyone who is now or ever has been a supporter of reproductive freedom. If that were not the case, McCain could have chosen a woman who knows what a vice president does and who has thought about Iraq; someone like Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison or Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine. McCain could have taken a baby step away from right-wing patriarchs who determine his actions, right down to opposing the Violence Against Women Act.

Palin’s value to those patriarchs is clear: She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality. She believes that creationism should be taught in public schools but disbelieves global warming; she opposes gun control but supports government control of women’s wombs; she opposes stem cell research but approves “abstinence-only” programs, which increase unwanted births, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions; she tried to use taxpayers’ millions for a state program to shoot wolves from the air but didn’t spend enough money to fix a state school system with the lowest high-school graduation rate in the nation; she runs with a candidate who opposes the Fair Pay Act but she supports $500 million in subsidies for a natural gas pipeline across Alaska; she supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, though even McCain has opted for the lesser evil of offshore drilling. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger.

I don’t doubt her sincerity. As a lifetime member of the National Rifle Association, she doesn’t just support killing animals from helicopters, she does it herself. She doesn’t just talk about increasing the use of fossil fuels but puts a coal-burning power plant in her own small town. She doesn’t just echo McCain’s pledge to criminalize abortion by overturning Roe vs. Wade, she says that if one of her daughters were impregnated by rape or incest, she should bear the child. She not only opposes reproductive freedom as a human right but implies that it dictates abortion, without saying that it also protects the right to have a child.

So far, the major new McCain supporter that Palin has attracted is James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Of course, for Dobson, “women are merely waiting for their husbands to assume leadership,” so he may be voting for Palin’s husband.

Being a hope-a-holic, however, I can see two long-term bipartisan gains from this contest.

Republicans may learn they can’t appeal to right-wing patriarchs and most women at the same time. A loss in November could cause the centrist majority of Republicans to take back their party, which was the first to support the Equal Rights Amendment and should be the last to want to invite government into the wombs of women.

And American women, more of whom may suffer because of having two full-time jobs than from any other single injustice, finally have support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it. Barack Obama and Joe Biden are campaigning on their belief that men should be, can be and want to be at home for their children.

This could be huge.


This commentary was first published in the Los Angeles Times.

still damp

Thanks everyone for your wonderful avengeful messages. I'm fine. I was just flying high with something and then had to compromise it for stupid reasons.

Just another thing this week to make me REALLY REALLY happy I did not get the job.

Anyway. It's been a tiring week. No day care this week and both the husband and I have had a lot of work to do. He hasn't been getting home until midnight - so we've been staying up late. And then getting up early. He leaves on Saturday for 10 days. So things are a bit cray around these parts...

rain

Someone has rained on my parade and I am livid!

I hate people.

c'est la vie

This last couple weeks as been edifying - if nothing else...

It started with a beautiful wedding. Nothing like seeing two people in love get married.

Next was the birthday. The kid turned three. She was thrilled it was her birthday. Thrilled to see her friends and thrilled to eat a cupcake. The happiness that beams from a child's face when everyone sings happy birthday" and then they get to blow out a candle - is true beauty. We had the party in the middle of the week at the aquarium. Lots of fun and no mess at home to clean up!

The birthday was followed by an announcement that I didn't get the job (aka a promotion) at work. I've known for a couple weeks - but haven't been able to say anything to anyone about it (except the hubby). Today, after the announcement, one of my co-workers came into my office and told me how upset his entire department was that I didn't get the job. That made me feel that I have been doing something right.

But I need to talk about the relief that hit me when I found out I didn't get it. The whole interview process made me really analyze why I am in this field: What kind of art inspires me: what gets me passionate: and what is really important. Whereas the job would have doubled my income (yup). I think I would have ultimately been miserable. I would have had to compromise my aesthetic. It would have been a true Faustian bargain.

I realized that I didn't get angry about not getting the job until a co-worker (female, 50+, no kids) said, "Well, you're still a new mom so its probably for the best." Losing a job to a middle-aged white man (the second time in two years I might add) and being the only female candidate (the job I applied for last year I was the only woman) and the youngest - has gotten my feminist ruffled. This woman thought she was making me feel better. It didn't.

Yes, I'm happy I wont have to spend 60 hours at work (as opposed to the 40+ I do now) and yea, we want to have another baby and the job probably would have been more difficult with that going on -- but because I am a mother should have nothing to do with it. And would she have said that to a man?

But this is a bigger issue. Why was I the only women (out of 5 people) interviewed for the job? I know they had a lot of applicants and then a list of 12, then 5, then the final three... And I believe (thought I haven't seen the list) that I was the only woman when it was narrowed to 12. Are there really no other qualified women? I find that INCREDIBLY hard to believe.

i'm a little uppity

So should I get on my feminist high horse about the Olympics?

I have been fuming for days that they only showed the winning point in the women's saber - and they only did that becuase the US took all thress medals. Do they not want to show women fighting with swords? Girls kick ass - can't we see that?

The numerous women's beach volleyball games are shown - yes they're amazing to watch, but also in bikinis.

They didn't show women's swimming because men's gymnastics was so intense - but then last night they cut away from the VERY intense women's gymnastic team to show men's swimming. Hmmm. I guess Michael Phelps is what the viewers want to see - and yeah - he's amazing. I want to watch him swim. But, some of our other athletes are amazing too... and shouldn't we be able to see some of these other counties earn gold? We're so American and China centered... if there is another country doing well - we don't seem to talk about it.

Thanks NY Times for showing pictures (at least) of the other athletes from other countries who are the top in their field. And keeping us updated on the other events taking place. Didn't realize that there were some Equestrian events already and rowing... and archery... and... and....

reality check

We dropped some money and got iphones - yeah we did. Our phones were old. We need to have remote access to our calendars and e-mail... plus we did wait until the second generation came out.

I went to the break room today to get some water cooler water. One of the young women who just recently joined the development team was in there making her lunch. She took two hamburger buns our of the "free" bag (they were left overs from the company picnic). As I microwaved my water, I watched as she put mustard on the buns and then slices of cheese (the Kraft singles), which were also left over from the picnic. That was it. That was her lunch.

I walked back to my office and drank my tea remembering the days of Ramen and grilled cheese.

manual labor

I just did 90 minutes of gardening and I feel great. I just couldn't take our lack of curb appeal any longer...

Now I need to finish reading the book club book.... 200 pages to go... wish me luck.

itch

I am so stressed I am itching... this job BS needs to be over soon.

"Hurry up and wait" is now turning into mental cruelty.

my latest addiction

The husband is working late - he's in tech.

So I have been watching House Hunters, followed by House Hunters International for a week now.

Someone stop me.

At least tonight I had a glass of wine.

The Potlatch Effect

So, I have been reading this book. And there is this section about "why we are good". One of the theories had me supressing an uncomfortable giggle.

"Altruistic giving may be an advertisement of dominance or superiority".

This made me think about people I know who tend to give random gifts for no apparent reason. I always feel a little bit guilty about not being able to afford to give them a gift back. I always wonder - "do they feel they need to buy my friendship?" or "do I need to buy them something too?"

I wonder if it is subconscious - their need to feel some kind of dominance... hmmm...

Now - I'm all for a nice card, flowers, etc. But those are usually for an occasion - get well, birthday, mother's day, get out of your funk, thank you, congratulations, new jobs, new babies, you rock, apologies. And yes - the occasional "I was thinking about you and thought you would like this" is fine.

A bottle of wine for doing a huge favor gets big points in my book. But showing up to see someone and they have a gift for you (for no reason) is just socially awkward.

Also, if they pick up the check too many times... I have to wonder "are they keeping score?" Should I start carrying around a notebook so I know how many times they buy? Will this be used against me later?

Then I thought (here comes the uncomfortable giggle) - have I done that?

banana bread

The kid and I made banana bread tonight. we wont get to sample it until morning. It bake while she took her bath and I took it out of the oven in between Curious George stories (I had to read three tonight). So - let's hope the boy dog doesn't eat this loaf before we get a chance to try it...

pancakes and latte

Every Saturday morning we (me and the kid) make pancakes. She mixes the dry ingredients - I do the wet. Then she watches me put them on the griddle and flip them. I had been using a recipe from THE JOY OF COOKING. Pretty standard. But in my quest to make things a bit more healthy I have started changing the recipe around a bit. My inspiration has been coming from my gal pals who have wonderful culinary expertise...

The Recipe from JOY
1 1/2 cup flour
3 tbs sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking power
1/2 tsp salt

3 tbs butter
1 1/2 cup milk
2 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla

My modified version:
3/4 cup flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup flax seed
1 1/2 tsp baking power
1/2 salt
cinnamon (I let the kid handle this - sometimes its really cinnamon-y - like a big tablespoon)
1/4 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ginger
same wet ingredients as above.

She gets a nice cup of chocolate milk (aka Ovaltine) and I enjoy a latte. Yep I have finally (after 7 months) figured out my espresso machine. I was putting in too much coffee...

more animal encounters

Today I saw this in my patio. So, I looked up Dragonfly in one of my books...

There is a legend that a dragonfly was once a dragon. Coyote tricked Dragon by having him showing its art of magic and illusion by changing form - into a Dragonfly. By showing off his power, Dragon lost it.

"Dragonfly is the essence of the winds of change, the messages of wisdom and enlightenment, and communications from the elemental world."
It goes on to say...
"...it may be time to break down the illusions you have held hat restrict your actions or ideas..."

hmm...

riding the wind of change and other cliches that seem to work for me today

Things change.
We all evolve.
Re-birth is important.
Out with the old and in with the new.
the more things change the more they stay the same
money can't buy happiness

ya whatever

and we saw...

...this as we were driving home today. There are mountain lion warnings all over the campus. I saw a mountain lion last year. But this is a bobcat. It was a BIG one too. I saw it walk across the road - no one was behind me, so I slowed down and let the hubby and the kid get a peak.
It was beautiful.

I didn't take this picture... thanks to the University for having this on their site...

refried beans

When I was a single gal - I would sometimes for dinner have chips, refried beans, salsa and sour cream. Now the beans we cooked with a lot of cheese. Oh and I always used (and still use) Rosarita's Vegetarian Refried Beans.

Tonight the kid and I met the husband on his dinner break and went to our favorite Mexican joint. Mexican food (good mexican food) is hard to find in this city. Since we lived near he border for so long - I have very strong feelings about which restaurants we can go to. So I was pleased when we discovered the little hole in the wall.
I had some enchiladas - yummy. Beans on the side. They were so good - and yes - I know they use lard. But once in a while ya just gotta a go for it... and man oh man was it tasty.

I've started making chicken fajitas at home. We've found some pretty yummy whole wheat tortillas. Nothing beats a hand made corn tortilla though... but when you're trying to be healthy (which occasionally we do) - its better to have the whole grains in the house. With the fajitas - refried beans, sour cream, salsa and avocado...

sugar

We've been big advocates of the South Beach diet. But the big problem has been sugar. South Beach has you use Splenda for all sweetening needs. I have never been able to use Sweet and Low and those other artificial sweeteners. You can just taste the chemicals.

So - I get cutting down on the sugar intake. But, I don't think a little pure cane sugar is bad. It is probably better for you than the artificial stuff. Right?

Maybe its because I hang out with some gals who grow their own food, and go organic... but I am worried about the amount of fake food out there - additives and other "stuff" in food.

So I have started reading labels.

It's eye opening and a good thing.

drinking and the dentist

I went to the dentist this morning to fill a cavity. After a shot of Novocaine, he began drilling. I almost immediately screamed in pain. Yep, I needed another shot. And even after #2 I could still feel it. Anyway - Shot #2 numbed my tongue and lips for about 4 hours. It made drinking and eating so much fun. Drinking was the best - since I couldn't tell where the liquid was...

salsa

I went to see my sisters on Saturday. My older sister and I took our kids to the water park and then we were invited to my little sister's house for lunch. Little sister made burgers and hotdogs. But then there was this large vat of salsa. She married a man from Mexico a couple years ago and since then has been cooking Mexican food. This salsa was fantastic - made from scratch. I ate so much of it that she offered to send some home with me - I said - yes. It was gone by Sunday. She should sell that salsa - she'd make a lot of money. I'm now addicted to it.

meat

Okay. Meat. Cooking it.

I have a fear of undercooked meats. Thus, I tend to overcook things to the point of dryness. I am working on this phobia. I am.

The pork chops I made the other night in the broiler looked a little pink - so I kept them in a minute longer - only to have them overcook while they "rested."

I remember a Christmas get-together at my grandmother's. She made chicken. It was NOT cooked all the way. My mother said "just eat it" - I looked at her like she was from outerspace and showed her the breast. She immediately took it away.

That was the first step towards becoming a vegetarian (which I was for about three years). But the rawness of the meat really made me ill.. okay thinking about it is making me feel ill too... excuse me a minute...

okay

My mother cooked red meat until it was more than "done done." Since hooking up with the husband (14 years ago) I have now acquired a taste for "medium well" and sometimes "medium" whereas he lives in the world of "medium rare". The kid - she's her father's daughter. I never knew meat could be moist and at time be as melty as butter.
I also thought, as a kid, that all fish tasted like fish sticks.

So - I tend to leave the meat (beef and fish) to the husband to cook. I can handle the poultry and am working towards keeping it moist.

The last 10 years (since getting hitched to the fella) has been spent expanding my culinary repertoire. I am now more adventurous and actually know what foie gras is! Thanks Top Chef and Food TV.

I order Pho with rare steak on the side and cook it myself in the broth. yummmy.

Sushi doesn't count. I have no problems with raw fish...

Damn it.

Now I'm hungry.

pizza

Pizza is my downfall...
I love it.
but I always feel really gross after eating it.

food

Looks like the topic for the month is food...

today I spoke at a men;s club which is part of a retirement community.

I was the guest for the luncheon.

Lunch was a beef patty-like thing. With a rich sauce on it and canned mushrooms. On the side was over cooked steamed veggies and a scoop of mashed potatoes.

The man to my right commented on how fabulous the food was.

I just nodded.

It's a good thing I'm not a vegetarian.

They were all worried that I didn't touch my apple pie.

Sexism Sells -- But We're Not Buying It

Happy Solstice

Summer is here. Temperatures are hot.

two daddies

As I lay on the couch trying not to be ill... I thought I'd put on HAIRSPRAY. We TiVoed it in HD (man - we are such geeks). Thought the 3year old would dig it - she likes musicals. The husband and I saw the stage version years ago - so I knew there wasn't anything bad in it.

So we're watching and John Travolta, as the mom, and Christopher Walken, as the dad are on the screen.
The kid says, "Where's the mommy?"
I said, pointing to Travolta in drag, "Isn't that the mommy?"
Soph says,"NO. That's a daddy. She has two daddies?"
I say, "Yes, honey. Some people have two daddies and some have two mommies and some have one daddy and one mommy."
Soph said, 'Okay."

Cool.

On the ill front - poor Soph got sick while we were in Yosemite on Friday and she woke up throwing up on Saturday. Around 10:30 when she couldn't hold down water, we decided to leave a day early. About 10 minutes into the drive - I did something I haven't done since college -- puked on the side of the road. It was a pretty disgusting ride home. Bless the husband for getting us home quickly.

Soph is back to herself today. I, on the otherhand, am not...

home

I have been chatting with friends lately about our houses. We live in one of the most expensive parts of CA. Anywhere else we'd be living in a 2000+ sq. foot home with a formal dinning room and a bonus room. But, we're in a little two bedroom house - with a garage that is usable for anything other than storage. A kitchen that is in desperate need of a renovation (and I'm watching SPICE UP MY KITCHEN at the moment and they just said most kitchen renovations cost $30K-$60K - WHATTT??? gulp). A bedroom where our Queen bed and one dresser maxes out the floor space. And a second bedroom that is, i admit, a decent size for a kid.

We're all in the same boat. Houses that are too small for growing families. Houses that make our husbands frustrated. We converted 1/2 the garage into an office for me - the hubby has one at work. But his little home desk is squished into a little corner and things just get piled up on it.

Now I know that if we lived in Manhattan or San Francisco we'd be in even more close quarters - but we would also be able to get Chinese food or Sushi at midnight.

So what can we do?

Get rid of stuff? Already did some of that - but I'm not parting with my books.

Find furniture that fits in the house? Okay, but that costs $$ and do we really want to invest in furniture when we have a toddler and two dogs?

Oh and what about all the toddler toys everywhere? Hmmm... what to do with that?

Anyway... a bonus - we have a good size backyard and it is summer. Happy outdoor living...

4 dollars and what?

yes, I paid $4.17 a gallon for gas.
Then I convinced my boss to let me work from home tomorrow... which is great.

It has been a long long long month. Full of anguish and frustrations.

And then there is the beautiful little cherub that says "I love you Momma" and it really makes all that other crap just meaningless...

Oh the media

There is a fire here in our community.

A pretty big one raging...

The kind the governator declares as a disaster zone.

The husband and I are watching some local news - which is always a little bit annoying.

But what is more annoying are the commercials FOR the news. Shots of them reporting on the fire. A lot of "aren't we great for covering this?" "aren't we cool for putting ourselves in the action" footage. Well, isn't it their JOB to cover the news... Isn't it?

Okay - the newscaster JUST said - "they tell us it's dark now" - well YEAH it 11:30PM!!! One would think it would be dark in the middle of the night.

This is why I read newspapers.

more needles

So, I went for my second treatment today. Hopefully I will feel the effects this time.

Two weeks ago, I had my first treatment, and then my father had a stroke the next day. He's doing great and just went home yesterday - will have to do vocal & physical therapy for a while - but it was really unexpected.

And then I tried to do something nice for my husband for his birthday and ended up inadvertently pissing a friend off.

Then there was a scary accident involving a student at the university - which really put a lot of things in perspective.

Oh - and then... well... in about a month I can talk about the other level of Dante's inferno I was in the last two weeks. You know the one when you have to grin and bare it at work although you want to scream at the top of your lungs... yeah... this one is a doozy...

On another note - the kid LOVES her new daycare. Although she has a bunch of scratches from falling down a lot while playing with the "big kids".

I got to hang out with my sisters for a couple days without our significant others or kids - and although it was around a hospital - I thank whatever powers that be that I have them... we laughed a lot..

The husband loved his b-day presents (which is good) and is currently enjoying his b-day present to himself (a little grand theft auto).

Ahh the joys of Saturday... oh wait - I had to work...

ARG

My latest addiction

I joined facebook.

I know.

I kinda really like it.

I feel 14.

needles

As the giant oak was being chopped up in my backyard, I went to an acupuncturist for the first time. Being a little needle-phobic, I wondered why in the hell was I sitting there waiting to be poked. But as western medicine seems to think the only way to handle the ever growing velocity of my PMS emotions is to give me cancer causing drugs - I figure a little foray into Chinese medicine can't hurt.
The acupuncturist took my history orally - none of the damn forms to fill out. This went on for almost two hours. Yep TWO HOURS. Then the needles came out. Didn't feel a damn thing. I know - even with one in my ear! Then I got to lay there and let them do their work for a half and hour (I think - I fell asleep, so who knows how long I was there).
I'm not sure I feel any different this afternoon... but we'll see.
I start the herbs tomorrow...

Oh and I never looked at the needles... oh no, not ready to see that.

home ownership

To the concept of home ownership,

Hi. You're a super cool concept. I mean really - instead of paying rent, you earn equity. You can paint, modify, alter your house (within state building codes) to your hearts desire. Its really cool. You can plant whatever you want in the garden. You can change carpet to hardwood (or vise-versa). It's great.

On the flip side: you can't call a landlord and make them deal with: water heaters dying, plumbing issues, leaks in roofs, or GIANT DEAD OAK TRESS FALLING INTO YOUR HOUSE FROM A NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE. No, you're on your own with that one.

I believe you and I are currently in a love/hate relationship. And that's okay. I can live with that.

Yours,
kiki

PS And I am really happy no one got hurt. But next time, please don't let me be in the shower...

Love

They love each other so much.

Really.
The husband took this picture while they were playing.
I think it captures their personalities perfectly.
Baldur wants to be tough
But
Freya will always be able to win.
Do you see how she is about to bite his whole muzzle
and she has him cornered!

gas

Dear gas stations on the I5 between Anderson's Pea Soup and Magic Mountain,

I recognize that there is a lot of competition out there. But it really pisses me off when I see $3.72 a gallon at the non-name brand station and $3.72 at your station only to realize ONCE I AM AT YOUR PUMP (because for whatever reason I think name brand gas is better) that the sign was for people paying CASH and that the credit card price is $3.88. The word "cash" is so light and so small and its not until you see the secondary sign (the one you can't read from the road) that there is a cash and credit price difference.

And of course, we're all on road trips and we're already out of our cars, in the frickin I5 heat, with the smell of the manure wafting about. We're not about to get back in our cars and drive to another station, We don't have time for that.

If I didn't just pay $4 at home, I might have thrown a bigger fit.

I will remember this annoyance on Tuesday when I drive by you again.
And maybe non-name brand gas is better....

kiki

dear daycare

Dear daycare,

So I call you to see if my daughter is napping. You say "no", I say, "great, I'll be there in 15 minutes to get her so we can visit her new school." Now, she's staying in your system, just transitioning to the preschool from the infant/toddler room - so its not like you don't know what is going on.
Now, with 15 minutes until I get there, don't you think someone should have familiarized themselves with the events of the day so you can fill me in?
Why was my child in a pull-up? She's potty trained and we only wear pull-ups at night. Why couldn't anyone answer my question?
Why were her pants, socks and shoes not somewhere near by? Instead a TA was sent into the classroom where kids were sleeping to find them.
Why didn't you check to see if she ate lunch?
Why are you passing the buck and blaming other teachers?
I know, I know, I know all the excuses.
I am just kind of sick of it.
I am irritated.
Heavy sigh,
Kiki

introductions

Dear people I've not met,

Hi. Thanks for being cool when I just walk up and introduce myself to you. I'm not a shy person. But, it is great when you stay and actually talk to me.

Now a word of advise to a certain group of writers from last night. When someone you don't know walks up to you at an event to compliment your work - don't blow them off. They might be someone who can give you a job. That's why you had a reception. That's why they wanted you to talk to people. It's a sad sad sad time - there are so many more hurdles to jump through and it sucks that we have to do it... Embrace the irony of the situation. Hell write about it. But stop complaining that you work isn't getting done - how can it if you aren't your own cheerleader.



Kiki

Dear procrastination

Procrastination,

When I took you as a lover, I thought - this could be fun.
But now, it has turned into a case of fatal Attraction -
with me alternating the Glenn Close role with you.
How I wish I could just find your rabbit and boil it.
Perhaps then, you'd leave me... sever our connection...
But no matter what I do - you let me fall into your welcoming arms.
I do love to be in your embrace. I worry about nothing and care about nothing.
But then, when you leave, reality hits and stress predominates.
I can't take it anymore.

I think we need a break.
Really.

A long one.

I will use every form of will power not to be seduced by you.

I will

I will

I will

I...

-kiki

geena davis

Dear Geena,

I just found out about your institute. Can I just say THANK YOU.

I am pleased to find that your research has led you to make the following recommendations:

1. G-rated movies and certain TV categories need more females as main characters, minor characters, narrators, and in crowds.
2. G-rated movies and certain TV categories need more characters of color, especially female characters of color as main characters, minor characters, narrators, and in crowds.
3. G-rated movies need to create more female characters with aspirations beyond romance.
4. G-rated movies need to create more women and girl characters that are valued for their inner character, too

I wish you all the best in this endeavor. Hopefully you can make some things change.

best,
Kiki

doggies

Dear my loving doggies,

I love you both very much. I know it has been a difficult year. Now that the kid is too big for the baby carriers, it has become really difficult to walk you both. If we lived somewhere where there was a sidewalk... if we lived somewhere where the neighbors believed in adhering to the leash laws... if cars didn't drive so damn fast - I'd walk you every day with the kid in a stroller. But alas, that is not the case. It is too dangerous to take you both out by myself with the kid in a stroller. We need two adults to achieve a good dog walk. And nowadays that is only happening on the weekends. Thanks for understanding and for playing with each other. On the bright side, the kid is getting big enough to chase you around... you know you love it. Will try and try and try to get more walks in... licks

Love,
kiki
Here is a picture from 2005... its so rare to get you both in one photo.

12

Dear 12,

Hi! I hope everything is going okay for you. I'm a little worried because I see you everywhere and yet my daughter doesn't. Are you hiding from her? She loves to count, but after 11 she jumps right to 13. You are such a beautiful number I would really like her to get to know you. You are a dozen.

And thanks to Wikipedia I know this about you:

You are a composite number, the smallest number with exactly six divisors, your proper divisors being 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6. You arealso a highly composite number, the next one being 24.

You are composite number of the form p2q; a square prime, and also the first member of the (p2) family in this form.

You have an aliquot sum of 16 (133% in abundance). Accordingly, You are the first abundant number and demonstrates an 8 member aliquot sequence; {12,16,15,9,4,3,1,0} 12 is the 3rd composite number in the 3-aliquot tree. The only number which has 12 as its aliquot sum is the square 121. Only 2 other square primes are abundant (18 and 20).

The duodecimal system (1210 [twelve] = 1012), which is the use of 12 as a division factor for many ancient and medieval weights and measures, including hours, probably originates from Mesopotamia.

You are a superfactorial, being the product of the first three factorials.

You, being the product of three and four, the first four positive integers show up in the equation 12 = 3 × 4, which can be continued with the equation 56 = 7 × 8.

A twelve-sided polygon is a dodecagon. A twelve-faced polyhedron is a dodecahedron.

You are a pentagonal number.

The densest three-dimensional lattice sphere packing has each sphere touching 12 others, and this is almost certainly true for any arrangement of spheres (the Kepler conjecture). You are also the kissing number in three dimensions.

You are a number ada is that so coolio m*In base thirteen and higher bases (such as hexadecimal), you are represented as C.

You are superabundant, sparsely totient, a Harshad number and a Pell number.

You are the ninth Perrin number, preceded in the sequence by 5, 7, 10.

Twelve is the smallest weight for which a cusp form exists. This cusp form is the discriminant Δ(q) whose Fourier coefficients are given by the Ramanujan τ-function and which is (up to a constant multiplier) the 24th power of the Dedekind eta function. This fact is related to a constellation of interesting appearances of the number twelve in mathematics ranging from the value of the Riemann zeta function function at -1 i.e. ζ(-1)=-1/12, the fact that the abelianization of SL(2,Z) has twelve elements, and even the properties of lattice polygons.

You are a sublime number, a number that has a perfect number of divisors, and the sum of its divisors is also a perfect number. Since there is a subset of 12's proper divisors that add up to 12 (all of them but with 4 excluded), YOU ARE a semiperfect number.

If an odd perfect number is of the form 12k+1, it has at least twelve distinct prime factors.

How cool are you? So please come out and play with my girl...

Best,
Kiki

ladies who lunch

Dear ladies at work,

From time to time we all find ourselves feeling queasy after eating lunch. It happens. Sometimes it is the sushi. Sometimes it is the leftovers from home that should have been tossed two days prior. Sometimes it is that super spicy curry from the Indian place. And it is always the quiznos - just the one across from us, the others are fine. When the queasies hit - and this week I have noticed there have been many many instances - please remember that others need to use the 3rd floor bathroom. It is the only lavatory on our floor. I don't think it is all that difficult to turn around after you are done washing your hands to makes sure all the remains have been flushed away. I know there is nothing to be done about the odor, but the visuals can be dealt with. So please, if you forget your antacid or IBS meds or those pills you take before ingesting super yummy yet toxic food, please remember your co-workers and double flush. I know it is a waste of water - but we all need a pleasant work environment.

Many many thanks,
the woman with the tiny bladder who works in the office on the other side of the elevator and has a long hike to get to the toilet

Dear daisy

Dear Daisy,

When you're playing "he loves me, he loves me not" does it end with the petals or do you get to count the body of the flower? Just curious.

Kiki

letter for NaBloPoMo

Dear Alton Brown,

Thank you for setting me straight about whisks. I think I understand it now. Flan still intimidates the hell out of me. But maybe I'll give it a go one of these days. I think I'll make a quiche first. Hmm... there is this chicken Quiche that I always get at this coffee shop in San Diego -- it so yummy. I'd love to try and re-create that. Oh no... Now I am jonesing for some quiche.

Damn.

I just shouldn't watch you show near bedtime. Darn that TiVo.


-Kiki

I wanna watch something

My daughter's favorite phrase is: 'I wanna watch something", followed by "I wanna eat something." I had TiVoed a film that I am ashamed to admit I haven't seen (or at least I don't remember seeing).

So when she said: I wanna watch something

I said: Wanna watch the Seventh Seal?

She replied: The Seventh Seal. Oh Boy, oh Boy, oh Boy. I wanna watch the Seventh Seal.

So I turned it on. She looked at the screen and looked at me. The expression was priceless.

She said: I wanna watch do-do-dora. (if you've ever heard the theme music - you'd know what this is)

I think she thought it was a film about seven sea lions...

Money

We just got SLAMMED by the IRS. I mean SLAMMED. The kind of slam that produces tears. Yes, tears that turned to laughter at the absurdity of it all.

I admit - we make decent money - we do. I can't complain. But we do a lot of 1099 work. And that is where they got us...

WOW...

It's our own fault, we thought we didn't need to do estimated this last year because we got money back last year...

Well, we wont be making that mistake again.

And the funny thing? Last week we had to cash in our spare change to buy groceries...

Why are taxes due the same time as Property tax? And Property tax is also due at Christmas time... does the government HATE us or what?

The Onion: Army Holds Annual Bring Your Daughter To War Day

things I want to outlaw

1. Text message blasts. Don't people realize texts COST money. Send an e-mail jeeze.
2. Networks' ability to turn the volume up on the commercials
3. TMZ - seriously, does this need to exist
4. leash-less dogs (oh wait - there is a law that says you must leash your dog - so let's just FINE the people in my neighborhood that don't. We could fund a library with with money)
5. Overtly comparing your child with another's - it just isn't psychologically healthy.
6. working too much

focus

Have you ever had one of those days when you just can focus on ANYTHING.
That's today for me.
I have the entire day to write and I find I can't write at all.
Not a single line/sentence has come out of my brain.
So I did some research.
Took some notes.
moved a pot or two around in the yard
ARG.

I could have:
updated my website
filed the giant stack of papers on my desk
done some yard work
painted the patio
prep meals for the rest of the week

Did i

No

writers block

Sarah had a fun entry on her blog. What do you do when you have writer's block.

Since I have been suffering from this impediment for a week now... I think I can actually answer that question.
1. read blogs
2. watch food TV or HGTV (paula dean has Amy sedaris on right now)
3. clean, yep, clean
4. read the news on line...
5. file crap that has been accumulating on my desk forever.
6. cruise Amazon
7. think about maybe doing some yoga... think about it...

humanities new lows

I watched the last 15 minutes of the ultimate train wreck of a show called MOMENT OF TRUTH.

Look what the writer's strike brought us too...

Oh FOX, what will you think of next...

best weekend

I got to spend the entire weekend with the kid and the husband...

So glorious...

I missed them so much and I was only gone 4 nights...

Soph did not let me out of her sight this weekend. Even when I desperately needed a nap on Saturday - she climbed into bed with me and let me sleep on her shoulder for a good ten minutes...

So good to be home.

just a surreal day...

My day began with a meeting with a director. She was lovely and it made me think about what my life would have been like if I moved to NY to create theatre and never met the husband.

I am so thankful I met the husband.

I love NY but there is just no way in hell I could live here. and just no way I could raise a child here. I have been hyper aware of the parents with their kids in on the streets, in the subway. WOW. Don't know how they do it.

I then had lunch with an agent.

Then I wandered up to FAO Schwartz to look for a robot for the kid. Found some cool monsters but no robot.

Then another meeting with an agent.

Then another meeting with a director.

Then a lovely cocktail event. Yesterday, randomly, I found out that one of my mentors was getting his caricature put on the the wall at Sardi's.

I managed to get myself invited to the "unveiling" event.

Now this guy has been a huge supporter of my work and is one of the nicest guys in show business. Really.

It was wonderful to see him.

I also just happened to meet Terrence McNally and Tom Stoppard.

Yeah

I know

Crazy

I then went and had a fabulous dinner with one of my dearest friends. We drank an amazing bottle of Argentinian wine - talked about art and theatre.

I should have gone to see another show - but I've already seen three and that was about all I could possibly handle this week. Besides... friends are more important.

Dare I tell you all that I, kiki, who HATES LOATHES DESPISES shopping - braved the Toy's R Us in Times Square to find that elusive robot?

Yes, I walked in (timeline wise this was in between the celebrity love-fest and dinner with M) and asked for some assistance. I was pointed to the toddler toy section - nada, nothing no robots.

So I asked two employees, both of whom were black, where I could find a robot. I explained my predicament - that my toddler thinks I am meeting robots (how ironic) in New York and I need to bring one back with me. As the woman and I were laughing about my kids tenacity, another employee, who was white, came over and started telling me that where to look. He completely interrupted the woman - who was being incredibly helpful - asking me questions. And he was all about the age appropriateness of the toys for my daughter. He literally pushed his way in between the two employees I was talking to.

BIZARRE.

Anyway - I said "well were are the robots for the older kids"

and he said "we have nothing for 3 and under".

And I said, "where are the robots?

he said "They don't make the for kids under 3"

I said "I'm the parent and I know what toys are appropriate for my child, so could you kindly point me in the right direction."

He pointed to the basement/electronics level.

I said, curtly, 'Thanks" and turned to the woman and said "thank you."

What in the hell was that about?

syncronisity

I was sitting in a little cafe having a pannini and the guy at the counter next to me answers his phone. He speaks in a language I can't identify... but certain words pop out:
FRANKENSTEIN...
MARY SHELLY...
SCIENTIST...
HUMAN NATURE
interesting because the husband and I have been discussing the Frankenstein play I wrote and I'm working on another script with a Mary Shelley-like character.

I leave the cafe, am 30 minutes early for my meeting - so I go into BCBG (and laugh at the prices) and Anne Taylor (and laugh at the small selection)

I go to my meeting. Goes well.

I leave the meeting and call the husband. We have a great chat as I walk to the subway. We hang up. I walk to the train and a street musician is playing our song. I toss him a couple bucks. he smiles and keeps playing. I smile too - thinking about that man I love on the other side of the country and the beautiful little girl keeping him company...

and on a more ridiculous note. Three times today i have walked a block in the wrong direction. In high heal boots.

people watching

Was on a flight from SFO to JFK today.
had lots of pictures of Soph - so I was happy.
hit LOTS of turbulence and couldn't find a stewardess to get me a drink - which made me very very very sad. I think I need a prescription of valuim next time I fly.

The woman next to me was reading a book about "unlocking your hidden potential"
she wore a sweatshirt with a peace symbol on it.
I was on a plane that give you a personal TV.
Started reading THE ROAD - but it was way to depressing, started crying twice...
so I plugged into an old vice - HGTV...
then Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nighmares ..
then an animal planet special about how amazingly cool Dolphins are
..and the Daily Show...
but being the busy-body that I am, I looked at what my row-mate was watching
(BTW: no one sat in between us...nice huh?)
1. the in-flight map - which ended up going 0mph at 5feet in Nevada as soon as we hit Nevada and for the remainder of the flight.
2. The Simpsons (which I turned on too)
3. The Family Guy
4. Seinfield

hmmm...

things in the toilet

I have decided to follow Dr. Sears' advice on potty training - well - the do it in a weekend advise... I was ill prepared.

I only had nine pairs of panties for the girl... all of which got washed at least twice on Saturday. Sunday and Monday - only three pairs down. I am not expecting a miracle... but at least she is now telling me (well 50% of the time) that she has to go...

Anyway while this is happening this weekend, I have been exchanging e-mails with an old mentor and good friend about the state of theatre in this country. I sent him this article, which a friend sent me.

I now work for a regional theatre - I used to run a scappy little alternative theatre out of an old funeral chapel...

Ohh - and poop with a lot of Almonds in it is pretty stinky...

The difference between theatres with money and theatres without is artistic freedom. And yep - if you don't have a huge budget you can get riskier and more adventurous with your programming. You also get to go into major credit card debt because you can't pay your rent.

"Mommy I have to pee" means "Mommy I am peeing"

The problem with regional theatre is that the larger you get the less risks you can take because one bad show means the box office take is awful which means possible lay-offs... so it is easy to fall into the mindset to just do shows that "sell". And how is that supposed to make one company distinct from another?

And because EVERYONE and their mother thinks they know about the arts... and the ignorant people write reviews and pass themselves off as theatre experts wouldn't know Artaud if he spanked them in the ass... and everyone thinks they can act... and that its easy... the art form is loosing its..well.. form...

formless poop is harder to get out of panties than a firm one...

there are very few theatre companies that have big budgets that are actually moving the art form forward...

and VERY few companies that support local talent...

a guy asked me why we bring people in from New York, LA, wherever.. and I said, we want the best possible talent on our stage and sometimes that means we have to go out of town...

why can't we work where we live?

why a vagabond existence?

And why can't artists just create art? Why do we have to make a "product?"

I really hate using hotel toilets...

the crack of dawn

When I was a kid, my mom left the house around 5:30am to get to work. She would walk into our rooms and give us a kiss before leaving. Now, most of the time we didn't wake up. But, we knew she come in because we would have big lipstick marks on our faces. We're talking bright mauve or a deep wine color, usually.

I had to leave the house at 6:30 this morning (truly difficult for me...).

When I kissed the husband and the child good-bye I thought about this and smiled.

I'm a very conflicted person

I have been pondering a response to Melissa's post. She, being a brilliant person and master debater, brought up a lot of good points.

Finding good role models for girls is incredibly hard.

My niece was in town for a volleyball tournament this weekend. So my sister and I took her to this place to get her prom dress... It seems that all the girls want to get their dress here because they have a guarantee not to sell the same dress to anyone else going to your school's event. Yeah, I know. Anyway... check out these dresses that 16-18 year old girls are buying. I was SHOCKED. My niece, thankfully, got one of the more tasteful dress - but it was backless...

Project Runway had an episode (yes I love this show...) - a PROM challenge. They had to design a dress for the client but the mom was looming in the distance. None of the designers could bring themselves to designing revealing dresses - even as the girls begged them too.

What does this have to do with Princesses? Well, when all the images of the Disney Princesses (and Barbies) are about being in ball gowns with perfect make-up and hair, I find it rather disconcerting. As a woman with major issues (yes - the body kind), I really would love to figure our a way to prevent my daughter from having them. I guess my opposition to the Princess franchise boil more down to marketing than the content of the film (although...).

I know that eventually she'll meet those gals - the princesses I mean - and I hope it's Belle first. She reads. She's cool. Please understand I actually love Disneyland (in the off season) and played with Barbies until well... lets just say until I was too old to be playing with them.

But there are other reasons I avoid those films...
The villains in all those movies:

Snow White: evil stepmother
Cinderella: evil stepmother
Sleeping Beauty: evil fairy
Little Mermaid: evil female octopus

Okay - Beauty and the Beast has the bad guy being the good looking fella... very nice...

Ya get dead moms all the time in the Disney Films: Snow White, Cinderella, Bambie, Finding Nemo, etc...

Mel's is right - you could go crazy if you stick to a feminist high horse on all those films. Perhaps I am over sensitive.

Soph loves Dora the Explorer - asks to watch it over any other show. As I look at those other programs on TV - that seems to be the only show with a girl lead. Blue's Clues is a girl dog. Anything I'm missing?

I finished it!

I have been missing lately because I HAD to finish War & Peace.
I'm still digesting it.

the jungle book

So I introduced my daughter to my favorite animated movie - The Jungle Book. We completely enjoyed it. But then there was the end...
A young girl sings this song and the lyrics go like this:

My own home, my own home
My own home, my own home

Father's hunting in the forest
Mother's cooking in the home
I must go to fetch the water
'Til the day that I'm grown
'Til I'm grown, 'til I'm grown
I must go to fetch the water
'Til the day that I'm grown

Then I will have a handsome husband
And a daughter of my own
And I'll send her to fetch the water
I'll be cooking in the home
Then I'll send her to fetch the water
I'll be cooking in the home

Now I have boycotted all the "Princess" movies - except Mulan because she kicks ass and it is not about getting married...

Am I being to sensitive?

quote of the day

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
-Sean O'Casey, Irish dramatist (1880 - 1964)

2007 lists

Well, I did NOT finish War and Peace. I am at the top of Volume III - which is the half way point. It is fantastic and I am throughly annoyed that I have to work right now and cannot finish it... ARG. So hopefully by the end of this month I'll be done... hopefully...

But 2007 had a lot of fun reads (thanks to my mom friends and our book club for opening my eyes to authors I normally wouldn't read). The list, yet again, does not include the stuff I have to read for work... perhaps next year I'll include that stuff...

To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis
The Third Witch by Rebecca Reisert
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
Ex Libris by Anna Fadmen
Marley and Me by John Grogan
Death in Venice by Thomas Mann
The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennets
Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows by JK Rowling
Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde
Fluke by Christopher Moore
Candy Freak by Steve Almond
How to Cook a Wolf by MK Fisher (ok didn’t finish it, but I tried!)
Treason by Orson Scott Card
Turning on the Girls by Cheryl Benard

I also tracked the movies I watched this year - because I was curious... I have three netflixs sitting by the TV right now... and they've been there for a while... I think its becuase they are all 2 hours plus...

FILMS
(first viewings only - I mean, why track the crap I've seen before and just happens to be on the television?)

Little Miss Sunshine (dvd)
Firewall (dvd)
The Illusionist (DVD)
The Queen (theatre - YES I went to an actual movie theatre!!!!)
Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason (TV-edited)
The Pursuit of Happyness (dvd)
For Your consideration (dvd)
Casino Royale (dvd)
The Lake House (HBO)
Children of Men (DVD)
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (DVD)
Cars (DVD)
Smokin’ Aces (DVD)
Pan’s Labyrinth (DVD) - my favorite move of 2007!!!!
The Breakup (HBO)
The Devil Wears Prada (HBO)
Shrek the Third (on airplane)
Idiocracy (DVD)
Dreamgirls (DVD)
Stranger than Fiction (DVD)
The Prestige (DVD)
Last King of Scotland (DVD)
The Fountain (DVD)
Ratatouille (DVD)

Wow - I think I might be suffering from multiple personality disorder after looking at this list!