positive discipline

I went to a lecture last night by Jane Nelsen, author of the positive discipline books. I had read the infant/toddler book when the kid turned one - and it was nice to have some of these things reiterated. Lately, with the impending stress of unemployment, I have been a little quick to temper in the daily power struggles with the kid and tend to be a bit of a drill sergeant about getting dressed, sitting at the table, etc.

some of the "tool kit" Nelsen provided:

kindness shows respect for the child

firmness shows respect for the situation.

connection before correction

hugs hugs hugs

positive time-outs -- creating a positive not punitive area for the time out area... rename it to "Cool off space" or "the feel good space"

understand age appropriateness

follow up with curiosity questions... (what were you trying to accomplish? How would you solve it?)

Children are always making decisions about... who they are, what the world is like, and what they need to survive and thrive.

supervision, supervision, supervision, re-direction, teaching w/o expecting understanding

show them what to do instead of what not to do

help children develop the perception "I am capable"

help children explore the consequences of their actions/choices

There were a couple things that came up that I admit I do all the time. I help the kid get dresses, it goes faster. She can dress herself, but I baby her. So, I am going to help her be capable of doing it.

I still carry her around (she's well over 3years and is 32lbs.) - so I'm going to let her walk more - get in her own car seat, etc. The spouse already does this - but I have not.

This morning there was a lot of whining. Instead of telling her to stop whining (which she does to excess nowadays) - I asked her why she was whining? The conversation was interesting. She just wanted my attention as I made breakfast. I told her that if she sat at the table we could talk while I cooked, instead of sitting in the living room watching morning TV (yes, she gets 1-2 PBS shows as we get ready for school...don't judge me!) It worked. We ate breakfast as a family - (we've been doing this at dinner, but breakfast has been more lax). She and I chatted while I cooked. It was lovely.

She also got dressed by herself this morning.

The thing that came up that makes me most sensitive is the whole TV thing. Yes, my kid watches TV. It's true. She has "shows" and "movies". The number of TV has remained consistent, and it is all commercial free (thank god) - and educational. I do what the infamous "they" say to do when your kids watches TV -- engage with them and ask questions.... Thanks to Sid the Science Kid, my girl brushes her teeth twice a day without argument because she learned about cavities.

But the list of movies has gotten larger and larger. Many of my gal pals let their kids watch one movie on the weekends - that's it. I applaud that. That is going to be my goal. Although we strive to never let her watch a movie on a week-night, the two week school vacation thwarted all that...

so to add to the resolution list: less TV for the Kid (and the mommy).

short timers

I have a horrific case of short-timer's disease.
I'm being "let-go" in three weeks. There is no money for my position...
There are a lot of things I need to finish up.
But today - I am planning to take home 1/4 of my office things. So that by my last day - I have nothing personal left in the office.

dieting

The husband and I are on a diet. Yeah, who isn't after the first of the year? But we're doing good. We're South Beaching. Yep - the two week induction is a bitch. He got to cheat on New Years Eve since he was working at a swanky party. And I had a glass of $250 Port that was offered to me a a party Friday night. Like I was going to pass that up! But we have been doing great considering all the temptations that have come in front of us.

One week from tomorrow and we get whole grains and fruit again and it will be glorious!