Just becuase thanksgiving is over, doesn't mean we can't still give thanks...
today I am most thankful for kindness. It is a knowing glace from a friend who knows the hell you've been through. It's the morsel of chocolate handed to you without any words. It is holding the door open.
I am also thankful for my husband. I gave a presentation to a group of graduating college seniors. One woman asked me how I balanced career and family. I said it was hard and talked about all the career issues I have dealt with since become a mom. But then I said, "Without a solid committed partner, I could not do what I do."
Love that man of mine.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
thanks
I have an amazing family. Wonderful and loyal friends. Two dogs that would do anything for us.
But I am also thankful for:
orange seeds
the space heater in my office
the down comforter that my husband had before I met him that keeps us beyond cozy on cold nights
green beans (because after 35 years I actually like them and the kid will eat them too)
the bedtime ritual for the kid
the mountain hikes I am minutes away from
But I am also thankful for:
orange seeds
the space heater in my office
the down comforter that my husband had before I met him that keeps us beyond cozy on cold nights
green beans (because after 35 years I actually like them and the kid will eat them too)
the bedtime ritual for the kid
the mountain hikes I am minutes away from
Sunday, November 15, 2009
resolution check in
Here were my new years resolutions. How have I been doing... hmmmm....
Finish the two big writing projects that I have on my desk. One got done, still working on the other - one and 1/2 months to go.
Eat better, feed the family better food. This is going well. Better choices. expanding the repertoire.
make a fantastic cake. I conquered butter cream frosting, fondant, but not the actual cake - but I baked bread!
exercise (of course...) hahahahahahah okay I am walking more
walk the dogs more doing better here
Take a vacation with the husband and the kid this did happen, but husband had to work a lot and I worked too. we suck. maybe the holidays will be better.
have at least one DATE a month with the husband - that does NOT involve an opening night or theatre or work FAIL
Spend more time with Friends doing better here
Use the telescope with the kid once. but now that it is dark at 5...
the backyard (nothing more needs to be said) - 1/2 done.
the kitchen (paint those cabinets and the walls) - guess what is going on the list for next year!
be better about money and really get a handle on the cash flow - out of credit card debt!
No more new TV Shows TiVoed!!!!! Big fail. Got addicted to a couple new things...damn the magic box
Less TV... less TV... less TV... more books - think the reading list will be better this year
Finish the two big writing projects that I have on my desk. One got done, still working on the other - one and 1/2 months to go.
Eat better, feed the family better food. This is going well. Better choices. expanding the repertoire.
make a fantastic cake. I conquered butter cream frosting, fondant, but not the actual cake - but I baked bread!
exercise (of course...) hahahahahahah okay I am walking more
walk the dogs more doing better here
Take a vacation with the husband and the kid this did happen, but husband had to work a lot and I worked too. we suck. maybe the holidays will be better.
have at least one DATE a month with the husband - that does NOT involve an opening night or theatre or work FAIL
Spend more time with Friends doing better here
Use the telescope with the kid once. but now that it is dark at 5...
the backyard (nothing more needs to be said) - 1/2 done.
the kitchen (paint those cabinets and the walls) - guess what is going on the list for next year!
be better about money and really get a handle on the cash flow - out of credit card debt!
No more new TV Shows TiVoed!!!!! Big fail. Got addicted to a couple new things...damn the magic box
Less TV... less TV... less TV... more books - think the reading list will be better this year
Thursday, November 12, 2009
the voice from above
Call from agent.
"What plays are you writing?"
I describe them.
"The 5 women one - comedy?"
Yes, but quirky, my reply.
"Send it to me ASAP. You're on my mind. I want to get you produced. ______ is looking for comedies."
Thanksgiving okay?
"Get it done."
Yes, ma'am.
Guess I know what I'm working on. Love those subtle kicks in the tuckus.
"What plays are you writing?"
I describe them.
"The 5 women one - comedy?"
Yes, but quirky, my reply.
"Send it to me ASAP. You're on my mind. I want to get you produced. ______ is looking for comedies."
Thanksgiving okay?
"Get it done."
Yes, ma'am.
Guess I know what I'm working on. Love those subtle kicks in the tuckus.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Juices
Hey there creative juices - where in the hell have you been the last 9 months? I loose my job in Feb... and have been waiting for you to arrive... I have done everything to get you to come play with me. And NOW you pay me a visit. I'm so pleased and honored to have you all here with me - but did all of you have to come at once?
I don't know which one of you to pay attention to first. I know I can't give you all the one-on-one time you deserve right now.
But, I promise that I will work with each of you - but ya gotta be patient.
One at a time kids.
Now, get in an orderly line in my brain and help me elect who goes first.
I don't know which one of you to pay attention to first. I know I can't give you all the one-on-one time you deserve right now.
But, I promise that I will work with each of you - but ya gotta be patient.
One at a time kids.
Now, get in an orderly line in my brain and help me elect who goes first.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
writing
A friend of mine is giving up the internet for a year.
I know.
Think about the implications of that.
But, then in dawned on me. 15 years ago, I lived in a different country with no computer and no cell phone. I had a scheduled time when I would go to a pay phone, call my parents collect, they would refuse the charges and then they would call me back. Depending on the name I used, they knew which public phone to call me back on. I would chat with them for about 20 minutes and that was it.
I became an avid letter writer. My mom, my friends, my grandparents, would all receive letters. One of my dearest friends would write to me every day, but only mail once a week. I did the same with her. The weekly deliciously large envelops were thrilling to receive. Like a Jane Austin heroine, I would take my mail, run to my room, lock the door and devour the read. We both used these yellow tablets that would fit beautifully (without having to fold) into a 6X9 envelop.
I had a ritual of sitting at my desk every night to compose a letter. I carried a notepad in my bag to record any silly thing that would happen during the day.
I still have all the letters my friend wrote me. My grandmother saved all the letters I sent her.
I kept a journal too. Since I didn't have a computer, it was hand written on school purchased notepads. I wrote incredibly small to save paper (I knew I would end up bringing these home with me).
I don't remember longing for more information. I don't remember ever feeling out of touch with anyone.
Now I spend so much time reading the "news feed" on facebook or playing inane games. It's a huge time suck.
I know.
Think about the implications of that.
But, then in dawned on me. 15 years ago, I lived in a different country with no computer and no cell phone. I had a scheduled time when I would go to a pay phone, call my parents collect, they would refuse the charges and then they would call me back. Depending on the name I used, they knew which public phone to call me back on. I would chat with them for about 20 minutes and that was it.
I became an avid letter writer. My mom, my friends, my grandparents, would all receive letters. One of my dearest friends would write to me every day, but only mail once a week. I did the same with her. The weekly deliciously large envelops were thrilling to receive. Like a Jane Austin heroine, I would take my mail, run to my room, lock the door and devour the read. We both used these yellow tablets that would fit beautifully (without having to fold) into a 6X9 envelop.
I had a ritual of sitting at my desk every night to compose a letter. I carried a notepad in my bag to record any silly thing that would happen during the day.
I still have all the letters my friend wrote me. My grandmother saved all the letters I sent her.
I kept a journal too. Since I didn't have a computer, it was hand written on school purchased notepads. I wrote incredibly small to save paper (I knew I would end up bringing these home with me).
I don't remember longing for more information. I don't remember ever feeling out of touch with anyone.
Now I spend so much time reading the "news feed" on facebook or playing inane games. It's a huge time suck.
Friday, October 30, 2009
picture
When I got home yesterday after thinking about family and I got a letter.
Grandma sent me a picture of her bald head. The chemotherapy has made her loose it. So I called her. She actually sounds great. HAs no appetite. So I told her, like a good granddaughter should, pot will cure that - it gives ya the munchies. She just laughed.
My uncle is there with her (and my grandpa) and he shaved his head too! Nice.
Grandma sent me a picture of her bald head. The chemotherapy has made her loose it. So I called her. She actually sounds great. HAs no appetite. So I told her, like a good granddaughter should, pot will cure that - it gives ya the munchies. She just laughed.
My uncle is there with her (and my grandpa) and he shaved his head too! Nice.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Family
I had a conversation with one of the maintenance guys today. He tends to check on our building when I have office hours.
We talked about Halloween and kids. He has a 4 month old grandson which he gets to watch 3-4 times a week. His face lit up when he talked about the time with the child.
I wish my family was closer.
The relationship I have with my grandparents is amazing. I want my daughter to have the same... but there is a minimum 2 hour drive to see any of them (and that's my sisters). My mom - in another state. Husbands parents - 4 hours away.
That family network would be nice...
We talked about Halloween and kids. He has a 4 month old grandson which he gets to watch 3-4 times a week. His face lit up when he talked about the time with the child.
I wish my family was closer.
The relationship I have with my grandparents is amazing. I want my daughter to have the same... but there is a minimum 2 hour drive to see any of them (and that's my sisters). My mom - in another state. Husbands parents - 4 hours away.
That family network would be nice...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
people are strange
I wonder if in this day and age of blogging, of being able to "post a comment" on a news story and vent ones opinion is changing the way we talk to each other.
Two interesting things happened yesterday.
A student came into my office and said, 'I don't know what I should be learning from this class." After some discussion, it seems that he wasn't getting anything out of listening to other people's writing projects. He wasn't able to discern the good writing from the mediocre. I watched him that day and he only perked up and payed attention when his theatre friends read their projects. Ahh, the problem. He feels superior to people in the class... And what does it mean that students can't learn from each other? That they can't listen...
The second things happened after the show last night. I talked to a very nice man, playwright and director (probably in his 60s) who was from the same country in which the play is set. Nice comments, wanted me to use the chair playing space more... but other than that fine. The next guy, called to me by name (first name). Did I know him, no. He demanded to know why a character did what he did int he show - he felt there needed to be more urgency. Thanks, says I, and then I leave to do some notes. But the guys is still waiting for me. He has other "plausibility" issues with the play. His enthusiasm bordered on hostility with me (come to find out he asked the house manger where he could fine him, aka, the director, and demonstrated a great deal of shock at my gender). At one point he asked me "Is that what is happening inside the actor?" I said, "that's a question for the actor." Then in a high pitched shocked "j'accuse" voice he said, "but YOU"RE the director.". I said, "Yes I am, and that is what the actor and I discussed." And which point I was saved by a staff member.
The guy was still talking with his "date" outside the theatre when I left. I used the side door.
The man never introduced himself to me. Nor did he say anything positive about his experience (his pay-what-you-will expereince).
It made me remember another incident a few years ago, when, in a discussion with an audience, I said "my job is to just stay out of the way of the talent." It was a flip response, got a laugh as people knew that I was joking. But a patron wrote a letter to the artistic director telling him to come in and save my show becuase of that comment (my show was a huge success and the AD stayed the hell out of my way).
But what give people the right to just accost me (and I did feel accosted by this man) or any artist? I understand the need to express yourself and I am thrilled when I create art that can do just that. But the hostility? There is no place for that. Sure I have pissed many people off and have had numerous discussions - but always in a post-show format. I don't mind hostility (or is it passion) when it is in a safe venue to discuss it... but in the lobby after the show... what the hell is that about? And to lack all social skills, like an introduction?
What a roller coaster I have been on. People take things so literally. And those negative encounters tend to stick with you more than the positive ones.
I also had a women say she loved the show (the one going on now) and asked if I directed a certain show last season. Upon hearing that I had, she decided I was her new favorite director.
Guess which one I will remember more?
Two interesting things happened yesterday.
A student came into my office and said, 'I don't know what I should be learning from this class." After some discussion, it seems that he wasn't getting anything out of listening to other people's writing projects. He wasn't able to discern the good writing from the mediocre. I watched him that day and he only perked up and payed attention when his theatre friends read their projects. Ahh, the problem. He feels superior to people in the class... And what does it mean that students can't learn from each other? That they can't listen...
The second things happened after the show last night. I talked to a very nice man, playwright and director (probably in his 60s) who was from the same country in which the play is set. Nice comments, wanted me to use the chair playing space more... but other than that fine. The next guy, called to me by name (first name). Did I know him, no. He demanded to know why a character did what he did int he show - he felt there needed to be more urgency. Thanks, says I, and then I leave to do some notes. But the guys is still waiting for me. He has other "plausibility" issues with the play. His enthusiasm bordered on hostility with me (come to find out he asked the house manger where he could fine him, aka, the director, and demonstrated a great deal of shock at my gender). At one point he asked me "Is that what is happening inside the actor?" I said, "that's a question for the actor." Then in a high pitched shocked "j'accuse" voice he said, "but YOU"RE the director.". I said, "Yes I am, and that is what the actor and I discussed." And which point I was saved by a staff member.
The guy was still talking with his "date" outside the theatre when I left. I used the side door.
The man never introduced himself to me. Nor did he say anything positive about his experience (his pay-what-you-will expereince).
It made me remember another incident a few years ago, when, in a discussion with an audience, I said "my job is to just stay out of the way of the talent." It was a flip response, got a laugh as people knew that I was joking. But a patron wrote a letter to the artistic director telling him to come in and save my show becuase of that comment (my show was a huge success and the AD stayed the hell out of my way).
But what give people the right to just accost me (and I did feel accosted by this man) or any artist? I understand the need to express yourself and I am thrilled when I create art that can do just that. But the hostility? There is no place for that. Sure I have pissed many people off and have had numerous discussions - but always in a post-show format. I don't mind hostility (or is it passion) when it is in a safe venue to discuss it... but in the lobby after the show... what the hell is that about? And to lack all social skills, like an introduction?
What a roller coaster I have been on. People take things so literally. And those negative encounters tend to stick with you more than the positive ones.
I also had a women say she loved the show (the one going on now) and asked if I directed a certain show last season. Upon hearing that I had, she decided I was her new favorite director.
Guess which one I will remember more?
Thursday, October 08, 2009
wow
A student just walked by my office and then doubled back.
She said I was inspiring becuase I am doing what she wants to do. and now she knows its possible.
That made my day.
She said I was inspiring becuase I am doing what she wants to do. and now she knows its possible.
That made my day.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
inspired
Okay
So all it takes are two kicks in my ass on the same day to remind me why I like what I do.
1. A crazy honor being bestowed on me that reminds me that I have a great career
2. And interview where I discussed why what I do is important.
So all it takes are two kicks in my ass on the same day to remind me why I like what I do.
1. A crazy honor being bestowed on me that reminds me that I have a great career
2. And interview where I discussed why what I do is important.
Monday, October 05, 2009
serendipity
Fate is bizarre.
Today I had dinner with an old friend who worked with me on a show 10 years ago as a dramaturg and then acted in the same show (updated) four years ago. The play was a show I had adapted from a book. Today, my book club met and we talked about that book.
When I adapted the book - there were many similarities between it (a classic from the early 1800s) and what was happening in technology today. Both times I did the show, huge medical advances were being made and publicized while the rehearsal process was underway -- all of which was woven into the show... I knew I was working on the right show.
Haven't had that feeling of knowing I was working on the right project in a long time.
Today I had dinner with an old friend who worked with me on a show 10 years ago as a dramaturg and then acted in the same show (updated) four years ago. The play was a show I had adapted from a book. Today, my book club met and we talked about that book.
When I adapted the book - there were many similarities between it (a classic from the early 1800s) and what was happening in technology today. Both times I did the show, huge medical advances were being made and publicized while the rehearsal process was underway -- all of which was woven into the show... I knew I was working on the right show.
Haven't had that feeling of knowing I was working on the right project in a long time.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
first day
One of my friends recently went to be with her sister when her sister gave birth to her first child. It made me remember how my sister was in the room when I gave birth to my daughter. Just my husband and my sister. It is incredibly amazing how my daughter is completely enamored with my sis. She misses my sister and wants to see her all the time.
My daughter has been asking me to tell her stories of my childhood. I instantly tell stories of being at my grandparents in the summer. We had a family reunion a couple weeks ago and I did an oral history of my grandmother - it was incredibly fascinating. She reminded me that they (she and grandpa) used to watch me. Tales of me sleeping with them and keeping them up all night - I wouldn't sleep alone (just like my kid). My grandmother was with my mom when I was born. My dad? Well, he was in the Navy and it was during the Vietnam conflict, so I didn't meet him until I was almost 1.
Mom almost had me in the hallway at the hospital. My grandmother, who was a nurse and helped start pediatric wards, told the doctors that I was on my way and they chose to ignore her. So she started coaching my mom. When the doctor walked by - he realized he better get my mom in a room - and here I came.
So grandma and mom where the first voices I heard when I came into this world.
Those first voices are important and lasting. New studies have been popping up about how a child comes into the world. I am glad those two women where there when I got here. I am elated my sister and my husband welcomed my daughter with me. And I am thrilled for my friend for the bond she now has with her nephew.
My daughter has been asking me to tell her stories of my childhood. I instantly tell stories of being at my grandparents in the summer. We had a family reunion a couple weeks ago and I did an oral history of my grandmother - it was incredibly fascinating. She reminded me that they (she and grandpa) used to watch me. Tales of me sleeping with them and keeping them up all night - I wouldn't sleep alone (just like my kid). My grandmother was with my mom when I was born. My dad? Well, he was in the Navy and it was during the Vietnam conflict, so I didn't meet him until I was almost 1.
Mom almost had me in the hallway at the hospital. My grandmother, who was a nurse and helped start pediatric wards, told the doctors that I was on my way and they chose to ignore her. So she started coaching my mom. When the doctor walked by - he realized he better get my mom in a room - and here I came.
So grandma and mom where the first voices I heard when I came into this world.
Those first voices are important and lasting. New studies have been popping up about how a child comes into the world. I am glad those two women where there when I got here. I am elated my sister and my husband welcomed my daughter with me. And I am thrilled for my friend for the bond she now has with her nephew.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
haunted by the blank page
The blank page is terrifying. I have been reading some playwriting texts lately for a class I am teaching and I find it really amusing that a couple of these authors say that fear of the blank page is bullshit - that you should just be able to write. And if you write everyday it shouldn't be a problem.
Well, I disagree.
The blank page does offers an endless number of possibilities. But to fill it with just the right thing can be daunting. I don't like to write without a purpose. The fear of the page should be respected becuase it means that you don't want to just spew crap - that you take the art form seriously.
So fear of the blank page should be respected. It is natural.
How to get over it?
One of the techniques I have given my students is to think about what is important to them and write about that. Easier said than done. So, I give them a list of 28 questions that I got from a theatre practitioner that I respect... questions like:
What are the three most important issues facing the world today?
to
What are five flavors that give you pleasure to taste. (There is nothing like an ode to chocolate to inspire).
That seems to help.
Today I should follow my own advice and answer those questions myself.
Well, I disagree.
The blank page does offers an endless number of possibilities. But to fill it with just the right thing can be daunting. I don't like to write without a purpose. The fear of the page should be respected becuase it means that you don't want to just spew crap - that you take the art form seriously.
So fear of the blank page should be respected. It is natural.
How to get over it?
One of the techniques I have given my students is to think about what is important to them and write about that. Easier said than done. So, I give them a list of 28 questions that I got from a theatre practitioner that I respect... questions like:
What are the three most important issues facing the world today?
to
What are five flavors that give you pleasure to taste. (There is nothing like an ode to chocolate to inspire).
That seems to help.
Today I should follow my own advice and answer those questions myself.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Haunted
Today was a good day, but I didn't think it would be.
I had a rough go yesterday - tough rehearsal, feeling like a lousy artist & crappy mom.
I was also incredibly angry about everything - not a pity party so much as just anger at the universe. Perhaps a little pms (but I do so hate blaming hormones)
I am starting to realize that I am a little haunted by my past artistic life. I look at all these amazing pictures of the art I created prior to 2006. There was some amazing work - visual poetry on stage. Explorations into form and content. It wasn't easy to achieve that - but I had a dedicated group backing me up and occasionally fighting with me - but in a good way. Yes there was heart ache, yes there were times I really hated it but I had artistic freedom. We could try and do anything. It was encouraged. We could be adventurous. We could fail and it was okay.
I don't have it anymore - that kind of freedom. Really. I am working for others now - other artistic visions, adhering to other company missions. The assignments I have been given have all been main stream & realistic. Of course, I enjoy the work I do - the collaboration of it all - a new group of amazing artists - but I am not doing what I do best. I am not breaking form - in fact I am just perpetuating the type of theatre I used to challenge/deconstruct/etc.
Do I feel like a sell out? Occasionally, yes, I think I do. How do I justify it then, well - the work is intellectually satisfying. II have been given shows that "say" things - important things about the world we live in. It is not aesthetically pleasing, but at least I am still making people think. Its provocative.
So what do I do?
Hmmm.
There's the rub.
I had a rough go yesterday - tough rehearsal, feeling like a lousy artist & crappy mom.
I was also incredibly angry about everything - not a pity party so much as just anger at the universe. Perhaps a little pms (but I do so hate blaming hormones)
I am starting to realize that I am a little haunted by my past artistic life. I look at all these amazing pictures of the art I created prior to 2006. There was some amazing work - visual poetry on stage. Explorations into form and content. It wasn't easy to achieve that - but I had a dedicated group backing me up and occasionally fighting with me - but in a good way. Yes there was heart ache, yes there were times I really hated it but I had artistic freedom. We could try and do anything. It was encouraged. We could be adventurous. We could fail and it was okay.
I don't have it anymore - that kind of freedom. Really. I am working for others now - other artistic visions, adhering to other company missions. The assignments I have been given have all been main stream & realistic. Of course, I enjoy the work I do - the collaboration of it all - a new group of amazing artists - but I am not doing what I do best. I am not breaking form - in fact I am just perpetuating the type of theatre I used to challenge/deconstruct/etc.
Do I feel like a sell out? Occasionally, yes, I think I do. How do I justify it then, well - the work is intellectually satisfying. II have been given shows that "say" things - important things about the world we live in. It is not aesthetically pleasing, but at least I am still making people think. Its provocative.
So what do I do?
Hmmm.
There's the rub.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
bravery
On Monday I had to assign my students scenes for their final. I asked them if they wanted to pick and they all said "no - you pick for us"
So I did.
To one pair I assigned the opening scene of a play about a woman who has lost her child. In the scene she is folding the boys cloths to send them off to the Salvation Army. Her sister is in the scene and needs to tell her she is pregnant.
My student, who is probably in her late 30s, came up to me and said, 'I lost my son three years ago." I immediately offered to change the script. She wanted to read the play anyway.
I sent her and her scene partner another script right after class.
I received an e-mail from her today saying that she wants to do the scene. She gets it and wants to do it.
That is bravery right there.
So I did.
To one pair I assigned the opening scene of a play about a woman who has lost her child. In the scene she is folding the boys cloths to send them off to the Salvation Army. Her sister is in the scene and needs to tell her she is pregnant.
My student, who is probably in her late 30s, came up to me and said, 'I lost my son three years ago." I immediately offered to change the script. She wanted to read the play anyway.
I sent her and her scene partner another script right after class.
I received an e-mail from her today saying that she wants to do the scene. She gets it and wants to do it.
That is bravery right there.
Monday, July 06, 2009
while the hubby is away
The husband gone for the week. He travels a lot, so we're used to it.
The kid and I fall into a bit of a different routine. It's not totally different from our regular routine. I will probably get her out of the house anywhere from 15mintues to 1/2 an hour earlier than I do when the spouse is home. Her pre-school is 20 minutes away. We pay for her to be there from 7:30am-1pm. We get her there usually at 9... But, when the husband isn't home, I like to take advantage of the 90 minutes. So, we'll leave the house around 8, instead of 8:30.
I also plan more activities. Perhaps it is just me not wanting to be just stuck in the house without another parent, but there will be more playdates and activities.
While the husband is away, we miss him terribly. But the re-entry is always tough - especially when he's gone for more than a couple days. As he likes to point out, I act as if he is in my way. And he's right. I'll get into a pattern and there is a little annoyance (which is not completely hidden) when that is interrupted.
The kid and I fall into a bit of a different routine. It's not totally different from our regular routine. I will probably get her out of the house anywhere from 15mintues to 1/2 an hour earlier than I do when the spouse is home. Her pre-school is 20 minutes away. We pay for her to be there from 7:30am-1pm. We get her there usually at 9... But, when the husband isn't home, I like to take advantage of the 90 minutes. So, we'll leave the house around 8, instead of 8:30.
I also plan more activities. Perhaps it is just me not wanting to be just stuck in the house without another parent, but there will be more playdates and activities.
While the husband is away, we miss him terribly. But the re-entry is always tough - especially when he's gone for more than a couple days. As he likes to point out, I act as if he is in my way. And he's right. I'll get into a pattern and there is a little annoyance (which is not completely hidden) when that is interrupted.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
books and bed
The bedtime routine with my daughter has altered lately.
At 7:30 she goes to Kiki's boutique to "buy" her Pjs. Yes, she gets her purse and fake money. Then she sees 'The fashion guru" aka the husband to show off the outfit.
The fashion guru takes her to brush her teeth, go potty, feed her fish, pick out three books for mommy to read, and mark the day off the calendar.
I read the books to her and together we turn off the light (leaving the fish tank on until I go to bed).
I then lay with her until she goes to sleep. A process that can take 15-45 minutes. A process that sometimes makes me fall asleep too.
Bet ya don't have to think to hard about the part I need to change.
At 7:30 she goes to Kiki's boutique to "buy" her Pjs. Yes, she gets her purse and fake money. Then she sees 'The fashion guru" aka the husband to show off the outfit.
The fashion guru takes her to brush her teeth, go potty, feed her fish, pick out three books for mommy to read, and mark the day off the calendar.
I read the books to her and together we turn off the light (leaving the fish tank on until I go to bed).
I then lay with her until she goes to sleep. A process that can take 15-45 minutes. A process that sometimes makes me fall asleep too.
Bet ya don't have to think to hard about the part I need to change.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
calendar
My daughter and I have a routine at bedtime. We cross a day off the calendar.
Last night, she wanted to look at all the months coming up.
When we got to December, I said, "And there's mommy's birthday and then the fairies come and the Christmas."
And her little voice said, 'And then we die."
I stopped, looked at her and said, "Why do you think that?"
"There are no more days."
"Oh honey, in December we'll get another calendar that has the next year on it."
"Oh"
Wow.
Last night, she wanted to look at all the months coming up.
When we got to December, I said, "And there's mommy's birthday and then the fairies come and the Christmas."
And her little voice said, 'And then we die."
I stopped, looked at her and said, "Why do you think that?"
"There are no more days."
"Oh honey, in December we'll get another calendar that has the next year on it."
"Oh"
Wow.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
librarys
Just spent an hour with a friend looking at her library. Amazing collections of books that need to be organized. Fun.
So why do we organize our books? why are certain titles okay for the livign room and others relegated to the bedroom?
I have fiction in the living room. Older books under glass. Non-fiction is all in my home office. I will admit that the home office library is very anal. I have a theatre section, a film section, a feminist section, history, religion, philosphy and science.
I have books based on certain research projects huddled together. It makes sense to me...
I have started organizing my daughter's library. She's four. Every three days or so, I put everything back. That way she (and I) can find what we're looking for.
Maybe I have just found a good outlet for my OCD.
So why do we organize our books? why are certain titles okay for the livign room and others relegated to the bedroom?
I have fiction in the living room. Older books under glass. Non-fiction is all in my home office. I will admit that the home office library is very anal. I have a theatre section, a film section, a feminist section, history, religion, philosphy and science.
I have books based on certain research projects huddled together. It makes sense to me...
I have started organizing my daughter's library. She's four. Every three days or so, I put everything back. That way she (and I) can find what we're looking for.
Maybe I have just found a good outlet for my OCD.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
take 2
Okay let's try NaBloPoMo again.
After I was off to a decent, okay five posts, start last month. everything seemed to hit the fan.
My sister got diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome. A month later and she is doing better, still on the road to recovery, which will take some time. I am quite proud of her. She is working her ass off in physical therapy. I took her to her neuroligist on Monday and watch them basically shock her nerves to see if there was any improvement - and there was... Yippee...
Then the plague hit. Husband first, then child, then me. I got out of bed all of 2 hours and even then was barely conscience.
Then giving a final.
Then a TA who couldn't get her shit together to get me the 75 grades she was responsible for.
Then the e-mails from students who were not happy with their grades.
And all the while trying (in vain) to work on a script...
Oye...
Let's hope the theme ROUTINE is better than Heros... Although there are still many heros I wanted to talk about... perhaps I will just talk about their routine.
After I was off to a decent, okay five posts, start last month. everything seemed to hit the fan.
My sister got diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome. A month later and she is doing better, still on the road to recovery, which will take some time. I am quite proud of her. She is working her ass off in physical therapy. I took her to her neuroligist on Monday and watch them basically shock her nerves to see if there was any improvement - and there was... Yippee...
Then the plague hit. Husband first, then child, then me. I got out of bed all of 2 hours and even then was barely conscience.
Then giving a final.
Then a TA who couldn't get her shit together to get me the 75 grades she was responsible for.
Then the e-mails from students who were not happy with their grades.
And all the while trying (in vain) to work on a script...
Oye...
Let's hope the theme ROUTINE is better than Heros... Although there are still many heros I wanted to talk about... perhaps I will just talk about their routine.
Friday, June 05, 2009
#5
Orderlies.
I got to the hospital today to see my sister. When I walked into the room, my mom and my older sister were changing the bed. Okay. Why? Because that is how they are.
The orderly walked into the room, a bit perplexed to find his job almost completed. He was quite amused at the site of these two women helping and the one woman (me) standing off to the side, least I get underfoot.
But it made me think... being an orderly has got to be incredibly difficult. One: They have horrific messes to clean up (with all kinds of bodily fluids involved). Two: They do have to deal with crazy families, like mine, under various stages of anxiety. Three: They have to deal with the hierarchy of hospitals (drs., etc).
I wonder if they have the weird hours...
I got to the hospital today to see my sister. When I walked into the room, my mom and my older sister were changing the bed. Okay. Why? Because that is how they are.
The orderly walked into the room, a bit perplexed to find his job almost completed. He was quite amused at the site of these two women helping and the one woman (me) standing off to the side, least I get underfoot.
But it made me think... being an orderly has got to be incredibly difficult. One: They have horrific messes to clean up (with all kinds of bodily fluids involved). Two: They do have to deal with crazy families, like mine, under various stages of anxiety. Three: They have to deal with the hierarchy of hospitals (drs., etc).
I wonder if they have the weird hours...
Thursday, June 04, 2009
#4
Yep two posts today - last night I got side tracked with a vomiting child and a sister in the hospital. Child doing better. Sister is not.
But I'm not in the mood to go into that. Maybe later.
Today's heroes are my dogs. They just know when everyone is sick, stressed, etc.. and are just the best.
#3 farmers
Today my heroes are farmers. I just bought 1/2 a cow. Yep - COW. I went to Morris Grass Fed and bought a heck of a lot of meat. I did not go out to meet the cow last month when we were invited for a tour - just didn't have the time, but I will next year.
So I picked up the cow (already butchered and put into convenient labeled portions) and drive it home and toss it in the freezer.
A women who was waiting with me said how great it was to get beef that was grass fed and organic. But most of all, to support local farmers.
So here's to local organic framers! And some incredibly yummy cow...
So I picked up the cow (already butchered and put into convenient labeled portions) and drive it home and toss it in the freezer.
A women who was waiting with me said how great it was to get beef that was grass fed and organic. But most of all, to support local farmers.
So here's to local organic framers! And some incredibly yummy cow...
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Actors
Today my heroes are actors.
Yes, actors.
But I don't want to write about their "process" or the art that they create - which can transport you to another place/time; give meaning to the unspeakable; inspire social change; uncover desires; and provoke you....
I want to write about the act of courage actors make every time they walk into an audition.
I sit on the other side of the table. When I am casting, I want everyone walking thru the door to be the right person for the job. I want to have many choices and I want everyone to be fabulous. I WANT to have a hard time making the final decision. Every audition is an opportunity to learn something new about the actor and the play. There are many of my counterparts who do not feel that way. They feel that the person coming through the door will only serve to show them what they don't want. They can be ungracious and downright rude to actors.
To walk into a room and give an audition requires bravery. Actors have no idea what the director wants to see, mainly because most of the time the director is learning the play as well and they don't know what they want to see. They don't know what happened in the room before they walked in (the rendition of 'Part of your world," five Bastard speeches, a spilt coffee, a nervous artistic director pushing their own agenda) - well, unless they eavesdrop - but that only adds to the pressure. Sure, there are ideas about how to "plan" your audition- textbooks that tell actors to make sure they audition at the end, so they are the last person the director sees, or first thing so they can set the bar and be on the director's mind all day. Those things don't work. Really.
Most auditions are cold reading. The actors reads it as they prepared it at home. Then the director either says, "thanks" and they're done -- which usually means "you don't get the role" OR the director will give them direction and have them do it again.
A lot of directors don't know how to talk to actors (i am sometimes guilty of this as well) and so the actor must try to decipher the director's intentions, ramblings, etc and make a bold choice during their next pass. First they have to get over the "yippee, they want me to try it again" jitters. And they may only get one more pass...
The actor will be asked to jump thru hoops in the 5 - 15 minutes he/she is in the room. Every actor hoop imaginable.
The actor may be doing all this with 2-10 people in the room. In some circumstances, the actor might not even know who the director is until they have done the first pass. God forbid the mistake the director for an intern (this has happened to me).
There is usually a reader, someone the actor has never met, that they now must play off of... if the reader is good, they play off of the actor. If the reader is bad - they give the actor nothing...
Everything is out there. They are asked to expose their core being and leave it open for introspection until the director is done examining it.
That is how you get a part.
Actors must also leave the world outside. If auditions are running 10, 15, 30 minutes late (and sometimes an hour) - the second they show their displeasure, they could loose the job. They have to be patient. Expect nothing and give everything.
It's a tough job.
It takes courage.
Yes, actors.
But I don't want to write about their "process" or the art that they create - which can transport you to another place/time; give meaning to the unspeakable; inspire social change; uncover desires; and provoke you....
I want to write about the act of courage actors make every time they walk into an audition.
I sit on the other side of the table. When I am casting, I want everyone walking thru the door to be the right person for the job. I want to have many choices and I want everyone to be fabulous. I WANT to have a hard time making the final decision. Every audition is an opportunity to learn something new about the actor and the play. There are many of my counterparts who do not feel that way. They feel that the person coming through the door will only serve to show them what they don't want. They can be ungracious and downright rude to actors.
To walk into a room and give an audition requires bravery. Actors have no idea what the director wants to see, mainly because most of the time the director is learning the play as well and they don't know what they want to see. They don't know what happened in the room before they walked in (the rendition of 'Part of your world," five Bastard speeches, a spilt coffee, a nervous artistic director pushing their own agenda) - well, unless they eavesdrop - but that only adds to the pressure. Sure, there are ideas about how to "plan" your audition- textbooks that tell actors to make sure they audition at the end, so they are the last person the director sees, or first thing so they can set the bar and be on the director's mind all day. Those things don't work. Really.
Most auditions are cold reading. The actors reads it as they prepared it at home. Then the director either says, "thanks" and they're done -- which usually means "you don't get the role" OR the director will give them direction and have them do it again.
A lot of directors don't know how to talk to actors (i am sometimes guilty of this as well) and so the actor must try to decipher the director's intentions, ramblings, etc and make a bold choice during their next pass. First they have to get over the "yippee, they want me to try it again" jitters. And they may only get one more pass...
The actor will be asked to jump thru hoops in the 5 - 15 minutes he/she is in the room. Every actor hoop imaginable.
The actor may be doing all this with 2-10 people in the room. In some circumstances, the actor might not even know who the director is until they have done the first pass. God forbid the mistake the director for an intern (this has happened to me).
There is usually a reader, someone the actor has never met, that they now must play off of... if the reader is good, they play off of the actor. If the reader is bad - they give the actor nothing...
Everything is out there. They are asked to expose their core being and leave it open for introspection until the director is done examining it.
That is how you get a part.
Actors must also leave the world outside. If auditions are running 10, 15, 30 minutes late (and sometimes an hour) - the second they show their displeasure, they could loose the job. They have to be patient. Expect nothing and give everything.
It's a tough job.
It takes courage.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Hero defined
The NaBloPoMo theme this month is Heroes. So, in my quest to write more, and more often, I am accepting the challenge to write every day this month.
Hero definitions:
From Merriam-Webster
1 a: a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability
b: an illustrious warrior
c: a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities
d: one that shows great courage
2 a: the principal male character in a literary or dramatic work
b: the central figure in an event, period, or movement
or from Dictionary.com
1. a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.
2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child.
3. the principal male character in a story, play, film, etc.
4. Classical Mythology. a. a being of godlike prowess and beneficence who often came to be honored as a divinity.
b. (in the Homeric period) a warrior-chieftain of special strength, courage, or ability.
c. (in later antiquity) an immortal being; demigod.
5. hero sandwich.
6. the bread or roll used in making a hero sandwich
Today I have a group of heroes... my friends. Yep, I'm going to lump them together for today. Friends perform "heroic acts" -namely, in my case, dealing with my many neurosis. I recognize that I am sometimes a narcissistic talk-aholic with a propensity to interrupt others. Why my friends choose to deal with this - I may never know. But their act of kindness in dealing with me must be deemed Heroic.
I am also a classic flake. I tend to say , "sure I'll do that" and then I flake out at the last minute. I've been trying to get better about this (particularly now that I have a kid and she remembers when I say we're going to do something). But, sometimes I just wanna stay home (so antithetical to being a Sagittarius). The good thing, is that most of my friends, like to hang out...
I am a middle child and thus, Switzerland on many hot button topics. As I also work with actors and write, I do try to see things from various points of view, thus occasionally loosing my own in the process... this could lead to me giving contradictory statements (and advice).
My friends are heroes because without judgment they accept me for who I am. They call me on my shit (yep you do) and know that I will still love them after wards. They push me and challenge me. They have high expectations but also remind me that everyone is human and sometimes its okay to flake, sleep, and just not get something done.
But most importantly, all of my friends (and I am talking about my handful of friends not the "friends/acquaintances" on facebook) - are role models. They inspire me with their words and deeds. They constantly remind me how unique we all are and how utterly fascinating people can be. By the simple act of listening, they perform an amazing heroic deed - allowing people to be human.
There is more to say about the heroism of friends, but I have a whole month to cover it...
And as two of my friends have joined me on a diet today - we will not talk about the HERO as sandwich definition. No bread. That is what friends can do for each other...
Hero definitions:
From Merriam-Webster
1 a: a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability
b: an illustrious warrior
c: a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities
d: one that shows great courage
2 a: the principal male character in a literary or dramatic work
b: the central figure in an event, period, or movement
or from Dictionary.com
1. a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.
2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child.
3. the principal male character in a story, play, film, etc.
4. Classical Mythology. a. a being of godlike prowess and beneficence who often came to be honored as a divinity.
b. (in the Homeric period) a warrior-chieftain of special strength, courage, or ability.
c. (in later antiquity) an immortal being; demigod.
5. hero sandwich.
6. the bread or roll used in making a hero sandwich
Today I have a group of heroes... my friends. Yep, I'm going to lump them together for today. Friends perform "heroic acts" -namely, in my case, dealing with my many neurosis. I recognize that I am sometimes a narcissistic talk-aholic with a propensity to interrupt others. Why my friends choose to deal with this - I may never know. But their act of kindness in dealing with me must be deemed Heroic.
I am also a classic flake. I tend to say , "sure I'll do that" and then I flake out at the last minute. I've been trying to get better about this (particularly now that I have a kid and she remembers when I say we're going to do something). But, sometimes I just wanna stay home (so antithetical to being a Sagittarius). The good thing, is that most of my friends, like to hang out...
I am a middle child and thus, Switzerland on many hot button topics. As I also work with actors and write, I do try to see things from various points of view, thus occasionally loosing my own in the process... this could lead to me giving contradictory statements (and advice).
My friends are heroes because without judgment they accept me for who I am. They call me on my shit (yep you do) and know that I will still love them after wards. They push me and challenge me. They have high expectations but also remind me that everyone is human and sometimes its okay to flake, sleep, and just not get something done.
But most importantly, all of my friends (and I am talking about my handful of friends not the "friends/acquaintances" on facebook) - are role models. They inspire me with their words and deeds. They constantly remind me how unique we all are and how utterly fascinating people can be. By the simple act of listening, they perform an amazing heroic deed - allowing people to be human.
There is more to say about the heroism of friends, but I have a whole month to cover it...
And as two of my friends have joined me on a diet today - we will not talk about the HERO as sandwich definition. No bread. That is what friends can do for each other...
Friday, May 08, 2009
that damn muse
First I must say, I have been more inspired to write this week than I have been for the last couple months. It is just really annoying that my best ideas seem to be hitting when I am in the car driving somewhere without the ability to just pull over and jot it down.
I just finished SNOW by Orhan Pamuk and now I'm re-reading Atwood's NEGOTIATING WITH THE DEAD... so the idea of a "writing life" has been walking with me.
I just finished SNOW by Orhan Pamuk and now I'm re-reading Atwood's NEGOTIATING WITH THE DEAD... so the idea of a "writing life" has been walking with me.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
REPRIEVED!
At the end of Three Penny Opera - mac sings "Reprieved" when he is let off the hook for all his crimes...
Today I went back to my old work since my hubby is designing the next show there - to have dinner with said husband and child. I got the scoop on all the stuff that has been going down.
I felt my blood pressure rise just hearing some of the stuff... and I thought "reprieved!" Think Raul Julia singing that word loudly with joy (and an accent on the ed to make it three syllables).
Yep - so so glad I'm gone. And the little carrot - not looking good to me at all. Nope, not in any way, shape or form...
My entire drive there I was thinking of all the things I should be doing and working on... and I think the last piece of me that was freaking out about not being officially attached to a actual organization has gone the way of the dodo...
ahh big sigh...
Today I went back to my old work since my hubby is designing the next show there - to have dinner with said husband and child. I got the scoop on all the stuff that has been going down.
I felt my blood pressure rise just hearing some of the stuff... and I thought "reprieved!" Think Raul Julia singing that word loudly with joy (and an accent on the ed to make it three syllables).
Yep - so so glad I'm gone. And the little carrot - not looking good to me at all. Nope, not in any way, shape or form...
My entire drive there I was thinking of all the things I should be doing and working on... and I think the last piece of me that was freaking out about not being officially attached to a actual organization has gone the way of the dodo...
ahh big sigh...
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
change
Sometimes change is not good.
Since I started teaching this quarter, we had to adjust the kid's dat care. So instead of going to pre-school 8:30-1pm five days a week - she was going 8:30am-1pm on MWF and noon-5:30 on TTHU. Well, the Tuesday/Thursday drop offs were at lunchtime. And the 9 times we did it, 6 times she had to be pulled off my body and once off of the husband's (resulting in two very emotionally wrecked parents going to teach). One would think we would learn our lesson after the first week- but we thought shes adjust. NOPE.
She would, however, have a great time playing on TTHU and hated to leave school when we picked her up. After lunch they would play outside for a 1/2 hour and then head back in for naptime. My kid doesn't nap. And she HATES resting.
But we decided that although our child is a rock star when it comes to being flexible, it was just too hard on everyone (especially her). When I told her teachers, they agreed.
So now our favorite babysitter is watching her on campus in the husband's/my office while I teach my class... and she is so much happier... and so am I.
Since I started teaching this quarter, we had to adjust the kid's dat care. So instead of going to pre-school 8:30-1pm five days a week - she was going 8:30am-1pm on MWF and noon-5:30 on TTHU. Well, the Tuesday/Thursday drop offs were at lunchtime. And the 9 times we did it, 6 times she had to be pulled off my body and once off of the husband's (resulting in two very emotionally wrecked parents going to teach). One would think we would learn our lesson after the first week- but we thought shes adjust. NOPE.
She would, however, have a great time playing on TTHU and hated to leave school when we picked her up. After lunch they would play outside for a 1/2 hour and then head back in for naptime. My kid doesn't nap. And she HATES resting.
But we decided that although our child is a rock star when it comes to being flexible, it was just too hard on everyone (especially her). When I told her teachers, they agreed.
So now our favorite babysitter is watching her on campus in the husband's/my office while I teach my class... and she is so much happier... and so am I.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
where the heck is my brain?
I have been very very lazy about writing.
My brain has been at worK;
The class I am teaching has kicked my ass. In the analysis of my stress, I realize that i have been treating every lecture like a performance. Uh, not a good idea. I am a good lecturer. I just need to get over my damn self. I am also trying to pack WAY to much info into a lower division course. I need to take a frickin' chill pill...
But something interesting happened during the lecture yesterday. i was trying to point out what FANTASIA (yes the Disney film) is important. It is innovative. I found myself realizing that I want to blend new forms in my work and that Disney also faced an uphill battle with the press about accepting new conventions...
My brain has been in my uterus:
Why am I not getting preggers? I had a very expensive consult with a doctor in NY and now I have this overwhelming list of tests that need to be performed... I remember the days when I was so paranoid I'd get knocked up...
If we can get down to the root of the problem - I will be happy. Unexplained infertility is NOT an answer. So off I go to get proded...
My brain has been with my daughter:
Pure joy. Now if I can just get her away from the tv...
My brain has been at worK;
The class I am teaching has kicked my ass. In the analysis of my stress, I realize that i have been treating every lecture like a performance. Uh, not a good idea. I am a good lecturer. I just need to get over my damn self. I am also trying to pack WAY to much info into a lower division course. I need to take a frickin' chill pill...
But something interesting happened during the lecture yesterday. i was trying to point out what FANTASIA (yes the Disney film) is important. It is innovative. I found myself realizing that I want to blend new forms in my work and that Disney also faced an uphill battle with the press about accepting new conventions...
My brain has been in my uterus:
Why am I not getting preggers? I had a very expensive consult with a doctor in NY and now I have this overwhelming list of tests that need to be performed... I remember the days when I was so paranoid I'd get knocked up...
If we can get down to the root of the problem - I will be happy. Unexplained infertility is NOT an answer. So off I go to get proded...
My brain has been with my daughter:
Pure joy. Now if I can just get her away from the tv...
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
being led by one nostril
I popped into my old work on Monday. I am doing a contract from them this fall and i wanted to get more information about it.
And basically they were feeling me out about coming back... in a lesser position... but it would be less hours and less responsibility... and less money. It was not an offer. And there were many "well, if everything goes as planned with the budget." Yeah. I believe I have heard that song and dance before...
I said I would entertain the idea.
But, I'm not thinking about it now.
Nope.
Not.
And basically they were feeling me out about coming back... in a lesser position... but it would be less hours and less responsibility... and less money. It was not an offer. And there were many "well, if everything goes as planned with the budget." Yeah. I believe I have heard that song and dance before...
I said I would entertain the idea.
But, I'm not thinking about it now.
Nope.
Not.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
great little house
In the past week, we have had many new visitors to our house. The husband and I go through various periods of house envy... buyer's remorse... etc. Lately, we have just been depressed that the house is too small and that we will not be able to move for at least 5 years in this economy...
The first wave of visitors was family. Husband's family who have BIG home, high income jobs, and impeccable taste. They loved our place.
Today a friend came by to snag some river rock from my yard (we're starting a new landscaping process). He thought the house was a "great little house."
You know what, it is.
The first wave of visitors was family. Husband's family who have BIG home, high income jobs, and impeccable taste. They loved our place.
Today a friend came by to snag some river rock from my yard (we're starting a new landscaping process). He thought the house was a "great little house."
You know what, it is.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
rains and pours
I started teaching this week... technically it is part time (given the pay) but it is a job.
For the last two months it has been incredibly hard to be motivated to do anything - really.
I have been prepping for the class, reading books, etc. But now that the actual teaching has begun - I want to write. Which is what I SHOULD have been doing for the two months I was unemployed...
I wrote a little in that window. But didn't come near to completing any project.
Heavy sigh...
Okay. Tomorrow's lecture is short since I get to show film after film after short film.... yes!
Friday is about the play.
I have a deadline of giving a friend a new draft on Monday - so i need to kick my own ass...
For the last two months it has been incredibly hard to be motivated to do anything - really.
I have been prepping for the class, reading books, etc. But now that the actual teaching has begun - I want to write. Which is what I SHOULD have been doing for the two months I was unemployed...
I wrote a little in that window. But didn't come near to completing any project.
Heavy sigh...
Okay. Tomorrow's lecture is short since I get to show film after film after short film.... yes!
Friday is about the play.
I have a deadline of giving a friend a new draft on Monday - so i need to kick my own ass...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Interview with the kid
My friend at Wannabe Hippie had this on her blog - so i thought I would be a copy cat!
So here is an little interview with my 3 1/2 year old. Please note that we did this right after dinner and she cleaned her plates so that she could see me do a happy dance.
1. What is something mommy always says to you?
"I love you”
2. What makes mommy happy?
I eat all my dinner.
3. What makes mommy sad?
If I don’t eat my dinner.
4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
By making funny faces
5. What did your mommy like to do when she was a child?
Play tap dance
6. How old is your mommy ?
16
7. How tall is your mommy ?
(using hand to measure, then confidently says) 5.
8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
Me, actually. My favorite thing to watch a little mermaid.
9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Picks me up
10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Picking up her own child from school.
11. What is your mommy really good at?
Exercising and doing yoga
12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Doing very good tap dance
13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Goes to work…
14. What is your mommy 's favorite food?
chocolate
15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
Reading books and I can sit on your lap
16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Elastagirl
17. What do you and your mommy do together?
We teach, I mean play and we bend.
18. How are you and your mommy the same?
By our hair long and that makes us a girl
19. How are you and your mommy different?
Your pants are too long and shirts too long
20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
By kissing me
21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
Marrying him
22. Where is your mommy 's favorite place to go?
To chocolate factory….
...She knows me pretty damn well.
So here is an little interview with my 3 1/2 year old. Please note that we did this right after dinner and she cleaned her plates so that she could see me do a happy dance.
1. What is something mommy always says to you?
"I love you”
2. What makes mommy happy?
I eat all my dinner.
3. What makes mommy sad?
If I don’t eat my dinner.
4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
By making funny faces
5. What did your mommy like to do when she was a child?
Play tap dance
6. How old is your mommy ?
16
7. How tall is your mommy ?
(using hand to measure, then confidently says) 5.
8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
Me, actually. My favorite thing to watch a little mermaid.
9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Picks me up
10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Picking up her own child from school.
11. What is your mommy really good at?
Exercising and doing yoga
12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Doing very good tap dance
13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Goes to work…
14. What is your mommy 's favorite food?
chocolate
15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
Reading books and I can sit on your lap
16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Elastagirl
17. What do you and your mommy do together?
We teach, I mean play and we bend.
18. How are you and your mommy the same?
By our hair long and that makes us a girl
19. How are you and your mommy different?
Your pants are too long and shirts too long
20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
By kissing me
21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
Marrying him
22. Where is your mommy 's favorite place to go?
To chocolate factory….
...She knows me pretty damn well.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
thanks jack kerouac
Belief and Technique for Modern Prose, a list of thirty "essentials."
1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside your own house
4. Be in love with your life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yrself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You're a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven
1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside your own house
4. Be in love with your life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yrself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You're a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
the fates
So, i have been wondering what to do with my life. Seriously. With the recession - directing gigs have gone the way of the dodo.. I have spent the last month and 1/2 getting my website together (a new host and it will be done) and contacting everyone I know for work.
so - i have been putting it out there to the powers that be to show me the path...
Today I got an e-mail from the theatre that I am supposed to be directing for this fall... the rights to the play i am supposed to direct are not available - how about play __________. Well, __________ is a play I really cannot stomach. I find it dry, tedious and one of the reasons I hate theatre. Yep - one of those old staples that should remain in the community theatre circuit and NEVER go pro again... I almost burst into tears. Here is a gig that I know I have, because I am told the "slot" is mine. But a play I would rather not do...
So I drive to the theatre because my spouse is doing a show there and we're going to meet him for dinner.
On the drive I have an epiphany. Ive asked to be shown the path. And this is it -- gotta keep writing. Gotta get off my ass and write. The directing is just not going to cut it anymore...
I smile. i feel fine now.
I get there and my phone digs - got an e-mail. The AD says to forget it - the cast for __________ is too big. I e-mail him an idea for another play.
So - I needed to see the light. And because I accepted it - the fates are makign sure I don't go broke.
Thanks for that!
so - i have been putting it out there to the powers that be to show me the path...
Today I got an e-mail from the theatre that I am supposed to be directing for this fall... the rights to the play i am supposed to direct are not available - how about play __________. Well, __________ is a play I really cannot stomach. I find it dry, tedious and one of the reasons I hate theatre. Yep - one of those old staples that should remain in the community theatre circuit and NEVER go pro again... I almost burst into tears. Here is a gig that I know I have, because I am told the "slot" is mine. But a play I would rather not do...
So I drive to the theatre because my spouse is doing a show there and we're going to meet him for dinner.
On the drive I have an epiphany. Ive asked to be shown the path. And this is it -- gotta keep writing. Gotta get off my ass and write. The directing is just not going to cut it anymore...
I smile. i feel fine now.
I get there and my phone digs - got an e-mail. The AD says to forget it - the cast for __________ is too big. I e-mail him an idea for another play.
So - I needed to see the light. And because I accepted it - the fates are makign sure I don't go broke.
Thanks for that!
my visit to EDD
This is the first time in my life I have had to file unemployment.
So with my last Unemployment Check came a notice that I had to go to the EDD office for a meeting at 2pm today. Well, the husband is in tech in a different city and my baby sitters are all busy. Plus 2pm is the time all my Mom friends have to pick up their kids - so it is just oneof those impossible times...
So yesterday, I called and asked if I could be rescheduled. They said, "Oh just come in anytime tomorrow." GREAT!
I show up.
The women askes why I can't come at 2pm today. I said, childcare is an issue. She said, what if it was a job? I said, then I guess my husband would have to take her to work with him or I would have to pay someone to watch her. Well, she says, we need to know what you can make a job if it is offered to you. And I said, I was very responsible and called yesterday, spoke to someone in your office and was told I could "drop in" today. She said, well, they shouldn't have told you that. I said, well they did - do I know have to find a babysitter and come back at 2pm or what? She said, no.
She then made sure I filled everything in on Caljobs. Told me all the stuff I needed to know. Didn't really answer the questions I had, but that's okay. My big sister seems to know the the system really welll.
I chose not to mention that in my profession, you don't ever get called on the same day to go to a jobsite. I also chose not to mention that Caljobs is useless for me as employers in the arts don't use it...
ARG.
I start teaching in a couple weeks. Thank goodness.
So with my last Unemployment Check came a notice that I had to go to the EDD office for a meeting at 2pm today. Well, the husband is in tech in a different city and my baby sitters are all busy. Plus 2pm is the time all my Mom friends have to pick up their kids - so it is just oneof those impossible times...
So yesterday, I called and asked if I could be rescheduled. They said, "Oh just come in anytime tomorrow." GREAT!
I show up.
The women askes why I can't come at 2pm today. I said, childcare is an issue. She said, what if it was a job? I said, then I guess my husband would have to take her to work with him or I would have to pay someone to watch her. Well, she says, we need to know what you can make a job if it is offered to you. And I said, I was very responsible and called yesterday, spoke to someone in your office and was told I could "drop in" today. She said, well, they shouldn't have told you that. I said, well they did - do I know have to find a babysitter and come back at 2pm or what? She said, no.
She then made sure I filled everything in on Caljobs. Told me all the stuff I needed to know. Didn't really answer the questions I had, but that's okay. My big sister seems to know the the system really welll.
I chose not to mention that in my profession, you don't ever get called on the same day to go to a jobsite. I also chose not to mention that Caljobs is useless for me as employers in the arts don't use it...
ARG.
I start teaching in a couple weeks. Thank goodness.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Opening the Vault
I am teaching a class on Disney. Thus I have aquired numerous films to show in the class. The professor that orginiated the class lent me many. But I was shocked to see how many I had and then this weekend at my sisters - how many MORE they had.
Okay - so I own:
Every Pixar (save the sequls to To Story): Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, Toy Story, Wall-E, A Bugs Life, CArs, incredibles, Ratatouille
then:
Pinocchio
Little Mermaid
Jungle Book
Rescuers
Rescuers down under
Artisocats
Mary Poppins
Mulan
Tinkerbell
Meet the Robinsons
The Lion King (VHS)
Fantasia (VHS - now broken)
Alladin (VHS)
from the other prof I borrowed:
Silly Symphonies
Snow White
Alice in Wonderland
Davy Crockett
Bambi
Dumbo
treasure Island
Fasntasia
Fantastia 2000
from my big sister:
Cinderella
Sleeping Beauty (taken from the bed-room of my 17 year old niece)
from my little sister:
Littel Mermaid II: Return to the Sea
Beauty and the Beast
Disney treasures: American Heros
Hercules
Peter Pan
20000 Leagues under the sea
The Black Cauldron
Teh Sword and the Stone
101 Dalmations
Pocahontas
Please note that my sisters DID have 80% of the same movies I do... plus they had many more films that I didn't borrow because I am not going to do them in my class - like Pirates,the 'Sing-Alongs" etc...
What does this mean?
And yes - the little child of mine saw the stacks of movies... Thank goodness she has school today and I have hidden them all... Although I did promise she could watch Cinderella....
Okay - so I own:
Every Pixar (save the sequls to To Story): Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, Toy Story, Wall-E, A Bugs Life, CArs, incredibles, Ratatouille
then:
Pinocchio
Little Mermaid
Jungle Book
Rescuers
Rescuers down under
Artisocats
Mary Poppins
Mulan
Tinkerbell
Meet the Robinsons
The Lion King (VHS)
Fantasia (VHS - now broken)
Alladin (VHS)
from the other prof I borrowed:
Silly Symphonies
Snow White
Alice in Wonderland
Davy Crockett
Bambi
Dumbo
treasure Island
Fasntasia
Fantastia 2000
from my big sister:
Cinderella
Sleeping Beauty (taken from the bed-room of my 17 year old niece)
from my little sister:
Littel Mermaid II: Return to the Sea
Beauty and the Beast
Disney treasures: American Heros
Hercules
Peter Pan
20000 Leagues under the sea
The Black Cauldron
Teh Sword and the Stone
101 Dalmations
Pocahontas
Please note that my sisters DID have 80% of the same movies I do... plus they had many more films that I didn't borrow because I am not going to do them in my class - like Pirates,the 'Sing-Alongs" etc...
What does this mean?
And yes - the little child of mine saw the stacks of movies... Thank goodness she has school today and I have hidden them all... Although I did promise she could watch Cinderella....
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Credit Card nightmares
So, I have been getting these automated calls on my account. The account that I PAID OFF IN FULL last December. I have been checking my on-line banking every month because I don't know when the service fees are due and I detest late payments.
So, I call them and talk to this guy. He says, Oh yes, I'll stop the calls, but you have $15 in late fees. WHHAA? Replies I.
45 minutes later it is resolved.
Sometime in December, an establishment that I used my card was hacked - thus compromising all the cards. The Credit Card company cancelled my account and issued me a new card. And they didn't tell me.
Last week I received a new card in the mail. I called, and they told me what had happened. Okay. I'll destroy the old card.
Then the calls started.
So what is this late fee? Well, it appears that on Dec 19th (two days after I paid off my card) Amazon (yes, Amazon) charged my card for the Amazon Prime ( the 2 day shipping thing) and never sent me a notice saying they were going to do so -- nor did they charge it to my default (aka ATM) card. Nice.
So once they told me what the fee was, of course I said I would pay it. But as for the late fees, and all the other BS - the Credit Card company needed to take care of that. The credit card company did not tell me on line, or thru an e-mail or thru anything other than mailing me a new card, that anything was wrong with my account AND my statements have all shown a zero balance since Dec. 17.
I talked to 6 different people - and apologized ahead of time that I was quite testy. Supervisors have their jobs for a reado - always talk to them.
The moral of the story. Cut up credit cards. And never sign up for a "yearly" thing.
So, I call them and talk to this guy. He says, Oh yes, I'll stop the calls, but you have $15 in late fees. WHHAA? Replies I.
45 minutes later it is resolved.
Sometime in December, an establishment that I used my card was hacked - thus compromising all the cards. The Credit Card company cancelled my account and issued me a new card. And they didn't tell me.
Last week I received a new card in the mail. I called, and they told me what had happened. Okay. I'll destroy the old card.
Then the calls started.
So what is this late fee? Well, it appears that on Dec 19th (two days after I paid off my card) Amazon (yes, Amazon) charged my card for the Amazon Prime ( the 2 day shipping thing) and never sent me a notice saying they were going to do so -- nor did they charge it to my default (aka ATM) card. Nice.
So once they told me what the fee was, of course I said I would pay it. But as for the late fees, and all the other BS - the Credit Card company needed to take care of that. The credit card company did not tell me on line, or thru an e-mail or thru anything other than mailing me a new card, that anything was wrong with my account AND my statements have all shown a zero balance since Dec. 17.
I talked to 6 different people - and apologized ahead of time that I was quite testy. Supervisors have their jobs for a reado - always talk to them.
The moral of the story. Cut up credit cards. And never sign up for a "yearly" thing.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
the office clean up
So I have been unemployed for a month now. WOW. And I think I am finally getting my groove on. Today I finished re-arranging and re-organizing my home office. Tomorrow I am going to the Apple store to get my laptop up to snuff and perhaps get some additional storage for all the crazy photos, etc that seems to be eating all the memory my computer has to give.
I have hung new pictures (well, new to the house but old to my ex-office) and put a bunch of stuff into storage.
One last thing remains and maybe the kid will help me with it today -- CD organization. Yep its a bitch but it has to be done.
I have hung new pictures (well, new to the house but old to my ex-office) and put a bunch of stuff into storage.
One last thing remains and maybe the kid will help me with it today -- CD organization. Yep its a bitch but it has to be done.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
the crock pot
My new favorite thing is the crock pot. I have two. Yes, crazy I know. Last week I made Pork Shoulder - it was fantastic. Today, Pork loin. Strange that I keep putting pig in the pot.
My husband bought the new one. Its different from the one I had, which is older than me. It's oval, the old one is round. The old one has one setting now - on. IT's pretty old but I still love it. The new one has more buttons and is very pretty, sleek and modern on the counter.
I will never part with my old pot. But I will share the love with both of them.
My husband bought the new one. Its different from the one I had, which is older than me. It's oval, the old one is round. The old one has one setting now - on. IT's pretty old but I still love it. The new one has more buttons and is very pretty, sleek and modern on the counter.
I will never part with my old pot. But I will share the love with both of them.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
overheard conversations
I was in the hospital laboratory today to get some blood drawn... no biggie - just one of those Day 21 tests to see what is happening to me hormonally during that time in my cycle. Gotta love being a girl.
Anyway - with the 45 minute wait and a little Umberto Eco to keep me occupied, I settled into my nice cozy chair next to a man I guessed was in his late 80s. I felt him sneak a peak at my book. He said nothing.
They called a name.
The woman sitting directly across from him said, "Wally, you're next."
The man said, "Now?"
She said, "No. You're next. I think. The man who was in line before me was just called."
"You coming with me?"
"No. You'll be fine." she said.
He grunted.
I got a good look at her. Obviously his wife, perhaps 8-9 years younger. Died dark hair, but a pleasantly warm disposition. There was nothing patronizing in the way she spoke to him.
She got up. She had this walker that could open up - revealing a pocket in which she had a newspaper. He made a motion to get up too. "Not yet, " she said, "I'm just stretching my legs."
He nodded.
Just the a cell phone went off. It was some 70s porn music. The fella whose phone it was -- 55ish male, no wedding ring- seemed a little embarrased when all the geriatrics looked at him. He avoided eye contact with me, as I tried not to giggle.
"Wally. Wally?" said the woman.
I looked at my seat mate - he was asleep. I looked at the woman. She just smiled at me and and shook her head. I smiled back. She looked at Wally with such love I almost wept.
When they called his name, he got up and went back. 'Here I go." he said.
A moment later a nurse came to talk to Mrs. Wally. "What's his birthday?" she asked (standard question when you sit down to give blood - guess that verifies your identity or something."
"October ??, 1921," she said.
"Thanks. He asked me to ask you." Said the nurse.
"Of course he did, " replied Mrs. Wally with a laugh in her voice.
Wally came out before I went in. The two, in their matching walkers, started towards the door.
"You okay?" she asked, unworried.
"Oh yes," he replied.
"Good," she said, 'lets go get breakfast."
And off they went.
Anyway - with the 45 minute wait and a little Umberto Eco to keep me occupied, I settled into my nice cozy chair next to a man I guessed was in his late 80s. I felt him sneak a peak at my book. He said nothing.
They called a name.
The woman sitting directly across from him said, "Wally, you're next."
The man said, "Now?"
She said, "No. You're next. I think. The man who was in line before me was just called."
"You coming with me?"
"No. You'll be fine." she said.
He grunted.
I got a good look at her. Obviously his wife, perhaps 8-9 years younger. Died dark hair, but a pleasantly warm disposition. There was nothing patronizing in the way she spoke to him.
She got up. She had this walker that could open up - revealing a pocket in which she had a newspaper. He made a motion to get up too. "Not yet, " she said, "I'm just stretching my legs."
He nodded.
Just the a cell phone went off. It was some 70s porn music. The fella whose phone it was -- 55ish male, no wedding ring- seemed a little embarrased when all the geriatrics looked at him. He avoided eye contact with me, as I tried not to giggle.
"Wally. Wally?" said the woman.
I looked at my seat mate - he was asleep. I looked at the woman. She just smiled at me and and shook her head. I smiled back. She looked at Wally with such love I almost wept.
When they called his name, he got up and went back. 'Here I go." he said.
A moment later a nurse came to talk to Mrs. Wally. "What's his birthday?" she asked (standard question when you sit down to give blood - guess that verifies your identity or something."
"October ??, 1921," she said.
"Thanks. He asked me to ask you." Said the nurse.
"Of course he did, " replied Mrs. Wally with a laugh in her voice.
Wally came out before I went in. The two, in their matching walkers, started towards the door.
"You okay?" she asked, unworried.
"Oh yes," he replied.
"Good," she said, 'lets go get breakfast."
And off they went.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
favorite quote of the week
"Revulsion is good. Revulsion is healthy. Each of us has limits, unarticulated boundaries of taste and tolerance, and sometimes we forget where we are. Peep Land is here to remind us; a fixed compass point by which we can govern our private behavior. Because being grossed out is essential to the human experience; without a perceived depravity, we'd have nothing against which to gauge the advance or decline of culture - our art, our music, our cinema, our books. Without sleaze, the yardstick shrinks at both ends."
-Carl Hiaasen
TEAM RODENT
-Carl Hiaasen
TEAM RODENT
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
resolution check in
Will a little help from my friends, I think I am doing fairly well on the resolutions.
The one I forgot: write every day.
Today I am in my office, listening to the hail storm rage outside as my Kronos Quartet Pandora stations struggles to compete for my attention.
I finished prepping my taxes and got them off to our tax fella.
I have so many projects I just don't really know where to begin.
I read a script of a play that I might direct - the playwright wanted some feedback. It's good. I just know that in taking the gig - I'll get paid crap... But oh Well! It'sa gig right?
I want to write - but I am completely not sure where to start. Which project to pick up.
ARG
The one I forgot: write every day.
Today I am in my office, listening to the hail storm rage outside as my Kronos Quartet Pandora stations struggles to compete for my attention.
I finished prepping my taxes and got them off to our tax fella.
I have so many projects I just don't really know where to begin.
I read a script of a play that I might direct - the playwright wanted some feedback. It's good. I just know that in taking the gig - I'll get paid crap... But oh Well! It'sa gig right?
I want to write - but I am completely not sure where to start. Which project to pick up.
ARG
Monday, February 09, 2009
Re-entry
Well, I am doing better today. I was smelling mold in my home office and I FREAKED OUT because I have a pretty intense library in there. So, I spend a little over 2 hours cleaning my book cases and found one book with mold. It was just a spot on a theatre book - so I cut out the offending area. The husband says it looks like the book just got wet -- okay. But I wasn't going to let it take over... The surgical incision did not in any way shape or form damage the content of the book...
The taxes will be done today and so will my first round of filing for unemployment... got everything in the mail back from them...
The taxes will be done today and so will my first round of filing for unemployment... got everything in the mail back from them...
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
unemployment
I am now officially unemployed. To quote Pooh, "I'm a little black rain cloud". I thought I would be okay - but I'm not really. I've never been laid-off. I've never filed for unemployment - which I did yesterday and it took me two hours. I have so many things that I know I could/should be doing. Writing projects - YEAH. Updating my website. But I'm a bit uninspired at the moment. It's only been three days - I guess I should cut myself some slack.
I have 4 hours every morning to myself while the kid is at day-care. She is no longer full time there. The last two days have been rough once I've picked her up. I'm feeling like a crappy parent. She wants to watch TV - I say No. And there is chaos. So today - after I pick her up - we're going to the park. And tomorrow we're going to the library.
I am currently working on the taxes. It's a huge ordeal for us. We have not just our W2 but a lot of 1099 work as well. We got seriously slammed last year and I have major fear of that again this year. I am still paying off last year... We made nice money - and we totally didn't spend it wisely. Where in the hell did it go? Now, I am a complete wreck about our finances. I think I am beyond stressed.... so I am going to spend the next couple days, taking deep breaths, and getting a firm hold of our financial picture.
Yes. That is what I will do.
I have 4 hours every morning to myself while the kid is at day-care. She is no longer full time there. The last two days have been rough once I've picked her up. I'm feeling like a crappy parent. She wants to watch TV - I say No. And there is chaos. So today - after I pick her up - we're going to the park. And tomorrow we're going to the library.
I am currently working on the taxes. It's a huge ordeal for us. We have not just our W2 but a lot of 1099 work as well. We got seriously slammed last year and I have major fear of that again this year. I am still paying off last year... We made nice money - and we totally didn't spend it wisely. Where in the hell did it go? Now, I am a complete wreck about our finances. I think I am beyond stressed.... so I am going to spend the next couple days, taking deep breaths, and getting a firm hold of our financial picture.
Yes. That is what I will do.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
positive discipline
I went to a lecture last night by Jane Nelsen, author of the positive discipline books. I had read the infant/toddler book when the kid turned one - and it was nice to have some of these things reiterated. Lately, with the impending stress of unemployment, I have been a little quick to temper in the daily power struggles with the kid and tend to be a bit of a drill sergeant about getting dressed, sitting at the table, etc.
some of the "tool kit" Nelsen provided:
kindness shows respect for the child
firmness shows respect for the situation.
connection before correction
hugs hugs hugs
positive time-outs -- creating a positive not punitive area for the time out area... rename it to "Cool off space" or "the feel good space"
understand age appropriateness
follow up with curiosity questions... (what were you trying to accomplish? How would you solve it?)
Children are always making decisions about... who they are, what the world is like, and what they need to survive and thrive.
supervision, supervision, supervision, re-direction, teaching w/o expecting understanding
show them what to do instead of what not to do
help children develop the perception "I am capable"
help children explore the consequences of their actions/choices
There were a couple things that came up that I admit I do all the time. I help the kid get dresses, it goes faster. She can dress herself, but I baby her. So, I am going to help her be capable of doing it.
I still carry her around (she's well over 3years and is 32lbs.) - so I'm going to let her walk more - get in her own car seat, etc. The spouse already does this - but I have not.
This morning there was a lot of whining. Instead of telling her to stop whining (which she does to excess nowadays) - I asked her why she was whining? The conversation was interesting. She just wanted my attention as I made breakfast. I told her that if she sat at the table we could talk while I cooked, instead of sitting in the living room watching morning TV (yes, she gets 1-2 PBS shows as we get ready for school...don't judge me!) It worked. We ate breakfast as a family - (we've been doing this at dinner, but breakfast has been more lax). She and I chatted while I cooked. It was lovely.
She also got dressed by herself this morning.
The thing that came up that makes me most sensitive is the whole TV thing. Yes, my kid watches TV. It's true. She has "shows" and "movies". The number of TV has remained consistent, and it is all commercial free (thank god) - and educational. I do what the infamous "they" say to do when your kids watches TV -- engage with them and ask questions.... Thanks to Sid the Science Kid, my girl brushes her teeth twice a day without argument because she learned about cavities.
But the list of movies has gotten larger and larger. Many of my gal pals let their kids watch one movie on the weekends - that's it. I applaud that. That is going to be my goal. Although we strive to never let her watch a movie on a week-night, the two week school vacation thwarted all that...
so to add to the resolution list: less TV for the Kid (and the mommy).
some of the "tool kit" Nelsen provided:
kindness shows respect for the child
firmness shows respect for the situation.
connection before correction
hugs hugs hugs
positive time-outs -- creating a positive not punitive area for the time out area... rename it to "Cool off space" or "the feel good space"
understand age appropriateness
follow up with curiosity questions... (what were you trying to accomplish? How would you solve it?)
Children are always making decisions about... who they are, what the world is like, and what they need to survive and thrive.
supervision, supervision, supervision, re-direction, teaching w/o expecting understanding
show them what to do instead of what not to do
help children develop the perception "I am capable"
help children explore the consequences of their actions/choices
There were a couple things that came up that I admit I do all the time. I help the kid get dresses, it goes faster. She can dress herself, but I baby her. So, I am going to help her be capable of doing it.
I still carry her around (she's well over 3years and is 32lbs.) - so I'm going to let her walk more - get in her own car seat, etc. The spouse already does this - but I have not.
This morning there was a lot of whining. Instead of telling her to stop whining (which she does to excess nowadays) - I asked her why she was whining? The conversation was interesting. She just wanted my attention as I made breakfast. I told her that if she sat at the table we could talk while I cooked, instead of sitting in the living room watching morning TV (yes, she gets 1-2 PBS shows as we get ready for school...don't judge me!) It worked. We ate breakfast as a family - (we've been doing this at dinner, but breakfast has been more lax). She and I chatted while I cooked. It was lovely.
She also got dressed by herself this morning.
The thing that came up that makes me most sensitive is the whole TV thing. Yes, my kid watches TV. It's true. She has "shows" and "movies". The number of TV has remained consistent, and it is all commercial free (thank god) - and educational. I do what the infamous "they" say to do when your kids watches TV -- engage with them and ask questions.... Thanks to Sid the Science Kid, my girl brushes her teeth twice a day without argument because she learned about cavities.
But the list of movies has gotten larger and larger. Many of my gal pals let their kids watch one movie on the weekends - that's it. I applaud that. That is going to be my goal. Although we strive to never let her watch a movie on a week-night, the two week school vacation thwarted all that...
so to add to the resolution list: less TV for the Kid (and the mommy).
Thursday, January 08, 2009
short timers
I have a horrific case of short-timer's disease.
I'm being "let-go" in three weeks. There is no money for my position...
There are a lot of things I need to finish up.
But today - I am planning to take home 1/4 of my office things. So that by my last day - I have nothing personal left in the office.
I'm being "let-go" in three weeks. There is no money for my position...
There are a lot of things I need to finish up.
But today - I am planning to take home 1/4 of my office things. So that by my last day - I have nothing personal left in the office.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
dieting
The husband and I are on a diet. Yeah, who isn't after the first of the year? But we're doing good. We're South Beaching. Yep - the two week induction is a bitch. He got to cheat on New Years Eve since he was working at a swanky party. And I had a glass of $250 Port that was offered to me a a party Friday night. Like I was going to pass that up! But we have been doing great considering all the temptations that have come in front of us.
One week from tomorrow and we get whole grains and fruit again and it will be glorious!
One week from tomorrow and we get whole grains and fruit again and it will be glorious!
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