When I got home yesterday after thinking about family and I got a letter.
Grandma sent me a picture of her bald head. The chemotherapy has made her loose it. So I called her. She actually sounds great. HAs no appetite. So I told her, like a good granddaughter should, pot will cure that - it gives ya the munchies. She just laughed.
My uncle is there with her (and my grandpa) and he shaved his head too! Nice.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Family
I had a conversation with one of the maintenance guys today. He tends to check on our building when I have office hours.
We talked about Halloween and kids. He has a 4 month old grandson which he gets to watch 3-4 times a week. His face lit up when he talked about the time with the child.
I wish my family was closer.
The relationship I have with my grandparents is amazing. I want my daughter to have the same... but there is a minimum 2 hour drive to see any of them (and that's my sisters). My mom - in another state. Husbands parents - 4 hours away.
That family network would be nice...
We talked about Halloween and kids. He has a 4 month old grandson which he gets to watch 3-4 times a week. His face lit up when he talked about the time with the child.
I wish my family was closer.
The relationship I have with my grandparents is amazing. I want my daughter to have the same... but there is a minimum 2 hour drive to see any of them (and that's my sisters). My mom - in another state. Husbands parents - 4 hours away.
That family network would be nice...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
people are strange
I wonder if in this day and age of blogging, of being able to "post a comment" on a news story and vent ones opinion is changing the way we talk to each other.
Two interesting things happened yesterday.
A student came into my office and said, 'I don't know what I should be learning from this class." After some discussion, it seems that he wasn't getting anything out of listening to other people's writing projects. He wasn't able to discern the good writing from the mediocre. I watched him that day and he only perked up and payed attention when his theatre friends read their projects. Ahh, the problem. He feels superior to people in the class... And what does it mean that students can't learn from each other? That they can't listen...
The second things happened after the show last night. I talked to a very nice man, playwright and director (probably in his 60s) who was from the same country in which the play is set. Nice comments, wanted me to use the chair playing space more... but other than that fine. The next guy, called to me by name (first name). Did I know him, no. He demanded to know why a character did what he did int he show - he felt there needed to be more urgency. Thanks, says I, and then I leave to do some notes. But the guys is still waiting for me. He has other "plausibility" issues with the play. His enthusiasm bordered on hostility with me (come to find out he asked the house manger where he could fine him, aka, the director, and demonstrated a great deal of shock at my gender). At one point he asked me "Is that what is happening inside the actor?" I said, "that's a question for the actor." Then in a high pitched shocked "j'accuse" voice he said, "but YOU"RE the director.". I said, "Yes I am, and that is what the actor and I discussed." And which point I was saved by a staff member.
The guy was still talking with his "date" outside the theatre when I left. I used the side door.
The man never introduced himself to me. Nor did he say anything positive about his experience (his pay-what-you-will expereince).
It made me remember another incident a few years ago, when, in a discussion with an audience, I said "my job is to just stay out of the way of the talent." It was a flip response, got a laugh as people knew that I was joking. But a patron wrote a letter to the artistic director telling him to come in and save my show becuase of that comment (my show was a huge success and the AD stayed the hell out of my way).
But what give people the right to just accost me (and I did feel accosted by this man) or any artist? I understand the need to express yourself and I am thrilled when I create art that can do just that. But the hostility? There is no place for that. Sure I have pissed many people off and have had numerous discussions - but always in a post-show format. I don't mind hostility (or is it passion) when it is in a safe venue to discuss it... but in the lobby after the show... what the hell is that about? And to lack all social skills, like an introduction?
What a roller coaster I have been on. People take things so literally. And those negative encounters tend to stick with you more than the positive ones.
I also had a women say she loved the show (the one going on now) and asked if I directed a certain show last season. Upon hearing that I had, she decided I was her new favorite director.
Guess which one I will remember more?
Two interesting things happened yesterday.
A student came into my office and said, 'I don't know what I should be learning from this class." After some discussion, it seems that he wasn't getting anything out of listening to other people's writing projects. He wasn't able to discern the good writing from the mediocre. I watched him that day and he only perked up and payed attention when his theatre friends read their projects. Ahh, the problem. He feels superior to people in the class... And what does it mean that students can't learn from each other? That they can't listen...
The second things happened after the show last night. I talked to a very nice man, playwright and director (probably in his 60s) who was from the same country in which the play is set. Nice comments, wanted me to use the chair playing space more... but other than that fine. The next guy, called to me by name (first name). Did I know him, no. He demanded to know why a character did what he did int he show - he felt there needed to be more urgency. Thanks, says I, and then I leave to do some notes. But the guys is still waiting for me. He has other "plausibility" issues with the play. His enthusiasm bordered on hostility with me (come to find out he asked the house manger where he could fine him, aka, the director, and demonstrated a great deal of shock at my gender). At one point he asked me "Is that what is happening inside the actor?" I said, "that's a question for the actor." Then in a high pitched shocked "j'accuse" voice he said, "but YOU"RE the director.". I said, "Yes I am, and that is what the actor and I discussed." And which point I was saved by a staff member.
The guy was still talking with his "date" outside the theatre when I left. I used the side door.
The man never introduced himself to me. Nor did he say anything positive about his experience (his pay-what-you-will expereince).
It made me remember another incident a few years ago, when, in a discussion with an audience, I said "my job is to just stay out of the way of the talent." It was a flip response, got a laugh as people knew that I was joking. But a patron wrote a letter to the artistic director telling him to come in and save my show becuase of that comment (my show was a huge success and the AD stayed the hell out of my way).
But what give people the right to just accost me (and I did feel accosted by this man) or any artist? I understand the need to express yourself and I am thrilled when I create art that can do just that. But the hostility? There is no place for that. Sure I have pissed many people off and have had numerous discussions - but always in a post-show format. I don't mind hostility (or is it passion) when it is in a safe venue to discuss it... but in the lobby after the show... what the hell is that about? And to lack all social skills, like an introduction?
What a roller coaster I have been on. People take things so literally. And those negative encounters tend to stick with you more than the positive ones.
I also had a women say she loved the show (the one going on now) and asked if I directed a certain show last season. Upon hearing that I had, she decided I was her new favorite director.
Guess which one I will remember more?
Thursday, October 08, 2009
wow
A student just walked by my office and then doubled back.
She said I was inspiring becuase I am doing what she wants to do. and now she knows its possible.
That made my day.
She said I was inspiring becuase I am doing what she wants to do. and now she knows its possible.
That made my day.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
inspired
Okay
So all it takes are two kicks in my ass on the same day to remind me why I like what I do.
1. A crazy honor being bestowed on me that reminds me that I have a great career
2. And interview where I discussed why what I do is important.
So all it takes are two kicks in my ass on the same day to remind me why I like what I do.
1. A crazy honor being bestowed on me that reminds me that I have a great career
2. And interview where I discussed why what I do is important.
Monday, October 05, 2009
serendipity
Fate is bizarre.
Today I had dinner with an old friend who worked with me on a show 10 years ago as a dramaturg and then acted in the same show (updated) four years ago. The play was a show I had adapted from a book. Today, my book club met and we talked about that book.
When I adapted the book - there were many similarities between it (a classic from the early 1800s) and what was happening in technology today. Both times I did the show, huge medical advances were being made and publicized while the rehearsal process was underway -- all of which was woven into the show... I knew I was working on the right show.
Haven't had that feeling of knowing I was working on the right project in a long time.
Today I had dinner with an old friend who worked with me on a show 10 years ago as a dramaturg and then acted in the same show (updated) four years ago. The play was a show I had adapted from a book. Today, my book club met and we talked about that book.
When I adapted the book - there were many similarities between it (a classic from the early 1800s) and what was happening in technology today. Both times I did the show, huge medical advances were being made and publicized while the rehearsal process was underway -- all of which was woven into the show... I knew I was working on the right show.
Haven't had that feeling of knowing I was working on the right project in a long time.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
first day
One of my friends recently went to be with her sister when her sister gave birth to her first child. It made me remember how my sister was in the room when I gave birth to my daughter. Just my husband and my sister. It is incredibly amazing how my daughter is completely enamored with my sis. She misses my sister and wants to see her all the time.
My daughter has been asking me to tell her stories of my childhood. I instantly tell stories of being at my grandparents in the summer. We had a family reunion a couple weeks ago and I did an oral history of my grandmother - it was incredibly fascinating. She reminded me that they (she and grandpa) used to watch me. Tales of me sleeping with them and keeping them up all night - I wouldn't sleep alone (just like my kid). My grandmother was with my mom when I was born. My dad? Well, he was in the Navy and it was during the Vietnam conflict, so I didn't meet him until I was almost 1.
Mom almost had me in the hallway at the hospital. My grandmother, who was a nurse and helped start pediatric wards, told the doctors that I was on my way and they chose to ignore her. So she started coaching my mom. When the doctor walked by - he realized he better get my mom in a room - and here I came.
So grandma and mom where the first voices I heard when I came into this world.
Those first voices are important and lasting. New studies have been popping up about how a child comes into the world. I am glad those two women where there when I got here. I am elated my sister and my husband welcomed my daughter with me. And I am thrilled for my friend for the bond she now has with her nephew.
My daughter has been asking me to tell her stories of my childhood. I instantly tell stories of being at my grandparents in the summer. We had a family reunion a couple weeks ago and I did an oral history of my grandmother - it was incredibly fascinating. She reminded me that they (she and grandpa) used to watch me. Tales of me sleeping with them and keeping them up all night - I wouldn't sleep alone (just like my kid). My grandmother was with my mom when I was born. My dad? Well, he was in the Navy and it was during the Vietnam conflict, so I didn't meet him until I was almost 1.
Mom almost had me in the hallway at the hospital. My grandmother, who was a nurse and helped start pediatric wards, told the doctors that I was on my way and they chose to ignore her. So she started coaching my mom. When the doctor walked by - he realized he better get my mom in a room - and here I came.
So grandma and mom where the first voices I heard when I came into this world.
Those first voices are important and lasting. New studies have been popping up about how a child comes into the world. I am glad those two women where there when I got here. I am elated my sister and my husband welcomed my daughter with me. And I am thrilled for my friend for the bond she now has with her nephew.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
haunted by the blank page
The blank page is terrifying. I have been reading some playwriting texts lately for a class I am teaching and I find it really amusing that a couple of these authors say that fear of the blank page is bullshit - that you should just be able to write. And if you write everyday it shouldn't be a problem.
Well, I disagree.
The blank page does offers an endless number of possibilities. But to fill it with just the right thing can be daunting. I don't like to write without a purpose. The fear of the page should be respected becuase it means that you don't want to just spew crap - that you take the art form seriously.
So fear of the blank page should be respected. It is natural.
How to get over it?
One of the techniques I have given my students is to think about what is important to them and write about that. Easier said than done. So, I give them a list of 28 questions that I got from a theatre practitioner that I respect... questions like:
What are the three most important issues facing the world today?
to
What are five flavors that give you pleasure to taste. (There is nothing like an ode to chocolate to inspire).
That seems to help.
Today I should follow my own advice and answer those questions myself.
Well, I disagree.
The blank page does offers an endless number of possibilities. But to fill it with just the right thing can be daunting. I don't like to write without a purpose. The fear of the page should be respected becuase it means that you don't want to just spew crap - that you take the art form seriously.
So fear of the blank page should be respected. It is natural.
How to get over it?
One of the techniques I have given my students is to think about what is important to them and write about that. Easier said than done. So, I give them a list of 28 questions that I got from a theatre practitioner that I respect... questions like:
What are the three most important issues facing the world today?
to
What are five flavors that give you pleasure to taste. (There is nothing like an ode to chocolate to inspire).
That seems to help.
Today I should follow my own advice and answer those questions myself.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Haunted
Today was a good day, but I didn't think it would be.
I had a rough go yesterday - tough rehearsal, feeling like a lousy artist & crappy mom.
I was also incredibly angry about everything - not a pity party so much as just anger at the universe. Perhaps a little pms (but I do so hate blaming hormones)
I am starting to realize that I am a little haunted by my past artistic life. I look at all these amazing pictures of the art I created prior to 2006. There was some amazing work - visual poetry on stage. Explorations into form and content. It wasn't easy to achieve that - but I had a dedicated group backing me up and occasionally fighting with me - but in a good way. Yes there was heart ache, yes there were times I really hated it but I had artistic freedom. We could try and do anything. It was encouraged. We could be adventurous. We could fail and it was okay.
I don't have it anymore - that kind of freedom. Really. I am working for others now - other artistic visions, adhering to other company missions. The assignments I have been given have all been main stream & realistic. Of course, I enjoy the work I do - the collaboration of it all - a new group of amazing artists - but I am not doing what I do best. I am not breaking form - in fact I am just perpetuating the type of theatre I used to challenge/deconstruct/etc.
Do I feel like a sell out? Occasionally, yes, I think I do. How do I justify it then, well - the work is intellectually satisfying. II have been given shows that "say" things - important things about the world we live in. It is not aesthetically pleasing, but at least I am still making people think. Its provocative.
So what do I do?
Hmmm.
There's the rub.
I had a rough go yesterday - tough rehearsal, feeling like a lousy artist & crappy mom.
I was also incredibly angry about everything - not a pity party so much as just anger at the universe. Perhaps a little pms (but I do so hate blaming hormones)
I am starting to realize that I am a little haunted by my past artistic life. I look at all these amazing pictures of the art I created prior to 2006. There was some amazing work - visual poetry on stage. Explorations into form and content. It wasn't easy to achieve that - but I had a dedicated group backing me up and occasionally fighting with me - but in a good way. Yes there was heart ache, yes there were times I really hated it but I had artistic freedom. We could try and do anything. It was encouraged. We could be adventurous. We could fail and it was okay.
I don't have it anymore - that kind of freedom. Really. I am working for others now - other artistic visions, adhering to other company missions. The assignments I have been given have all been main stream & realistic. Of course, I enjoy the work I do - the collaboration of it all - a new group of amazing artists - but I am not doing what I do best. I am not breaking form - in fact I am just perpetuating the type of theatre I used to challenge/deconstruct/etc.
Do I feel like a sell out? Occasionally, yes, I think I do. How do I justify it then, well - the work is intellectually satisfying. II have been given shows that "say" things - important things about the world we live in. It is not aesthetically pleasing, but at least I am still making people think. Its provocative.
So what do I do?
Hmmm.
There's the rub.
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