Led Zeppelin?

So I was sleeping on the sofa with my daughter -- long day -- both of us were tired. And I woke up in a haze to some incredibly sad music. I said to my husband, "that is so sad... and beautiful... I want to cry". So he clicked the TiVo (yes we listen to an eclectic satellite radio station) and it turned out to be the London Philharmonic playing Led Zeppelin. So we bought the album on iTunes. It's fantastic!

mac here I come

So I'm going to do it. I am converting from my POS PC to a MacBook... I'm a little scared of that kindof technology shift. But, I think it will be for the best. I have not had a lot of good luck with laptops. The one I am currently using has a fan that drowns out my washing machine, in addition to making a metal-on-metal grinding sound, and an adapter that almost caught fire the other day. Not to mention being slower than a Galapagos turtle mating. So, farewell my PC. We'll be together for just a few more days. I'd like to say I'll miss all the crashes and lost data --but I wont.

a few weeks later...

Well, our day care person said that the 3rd week is the good one... and she was right. My girl only fusses for a few minutes. I say, "Mommy has to go to work" and she come over and gives me a hug and a kiss. Them she reaches for her care-giver. Once I put my shoes back on she fusses, but then points to the window so she can wave at me as I go to the car. It is such a huge relief. She is having a good time too - painting, playing in with water, and climbing on "safe" structures.

Big sigh of relief. And a little tear that she is growing up so fast.

What happens when you go back to work.

I just went back to work. Today I dropped my daughter off at day care and she cried. So, I called about 15 minutes into my drive to check on her -- and she was still crying. I called 15 minutes after that and she was fine. My husband picked her up and got the daily report from her day care teacher. She was upset when I left and then had some fun, but then got sad for the rest of the afternoon. My heart broke when I heard that.

She was sad.

I guess it is supposed to get better by week three... which will be next week. Until then, I will be sad too...

e-mail

A friend of mine told me that her husband reads her e-mail. ALL OF IT. EVERYDAY. I was shocked. I guess his rational is that "what have you got to hide". Although, she doesn't have access to HIS e-mail account. HMMM... Now, I have known couples that "share" an e-mail address - that has always driven me a bit bonkers... but WHATEVER... in those cases I always knew either one could read the e-mail. But, in the case of my friend - I had no idea he had access. Not that I ever said anything bad -- but do I really want him to know when I am on my cycle? or how my breast are doing with the whole breast-feeding thing? No, I don't. So, now I have to remember that there is another set of eyes on the e-mail. It just makes it weird.

My husband could read my e-mail any time - and I his. But we don't. It's private. I think it should be. I'd never open his mail. So why would I open his e-mail.

Venom part 2

So, I found out who posted the nasty comments about me. And low and behold, it was someone I had to fire years ago for being belligerent to one of the producers on a show. The website for these reviews recently added a way to see the other "names" commenters use. And this "commenter" has a plethora of other names where he pontificates and harasses other artists. I got off easy, his comments about other people are borderline slanderous. He also used two pseudonym's to post nasty comments about one company and then used his true identity to champion the same company. Poor guy needs some serious help. He is just a sad individual with so much hostility.

I feel better knowing who it is, all though the original sting still hurts.

Ode to Stem Cells

I am so upset about Bush's Veto....

I wrote this last year for a show

ODE TO STEM CELLS
By the Grace of God, we found you
Hidden, deep within the well of our mortality.
Our spirit.
By the Wiles of Man, we have embraced you
The knowledge of nature that is awakened within you.
Our essence.
To extend our fleeting, minuscule existence
Determined by God, now by Man or by God through Man
The ailments of yore and the impending plagues
alleviated and exacerbated within the human frame.
By the Physics of Immortaliy, we comprehend you
But we can never grasp the truth of the venture.
Our moral fiber
For we cannot reach to the heavens only imagine.

Stuck at home...

I just can't seem to turn the TV off. My daughter has been ill for the last week and we have been stuck at home. Normally, I would be outside with her or on a playdate with other moms and babies. But, we have been here and tomorrow we get to get back out in to the world. Yippee!

In our "confinement" I have watched a lot of TV and movies. I have all these books, but every time I try to read - she wants to know what I have in my hand. I wasn't worried about having the TV on too much, but now my daughter is actually starting to WATCH it. She is sucked into her "baby crack" aka Baby Einstein videos -- but now, she's even watching the news with me. This is bad.

So happy we're getting out of the house tomorrow...

Speed demons

Yes, another walking the dog tale...

There is no sidewalk where I live. So, when I put the baby in the carrier and walk the two dogs, I have to be careful around certain bends in the road. I don't mind the traffic - there is not that much. Plus the majority of drivers, slow down and move to the side as to not even get close to us... But there are others who drive 35 or 40 mph in this residential district. They seem oblivious to people walking on the road. And its not just me walking - there are kids playing and joggers and other folks with their dogs. Sometimes I have to suppress the urge to throw the dogs' poop bag at their windshield.

Dogs

I have two of the best dogs on the planet. Yes I am bias in my views. I recognize that to some people my dogs are ill-behaved and crazy. But I love them. They get a long walk every morning. I follow the rules, I have them on leashes and I pick up their poop. They love their walk and I love to walk with them. But, some people don't. The first time we walked our dogs in our neighborhood, one of the dog marked a rose bush - well the owner of said rose bush came running out and yelled at us. How dare we let our dog near his house. (Please note there is no sidewalk where we live and there is a lot of wildlife). We nicknamed this man "the grinch" and make sure we walk in the middle of the street when we pass his house. So, today I actually saw him for the first time since the yelling incident (which was at least 2 years ago). I had my daughter in a carrier strapped to my front and both dogs on leashes. He was trimming his roses. There were three little boys on bikes riding up and down the street. He scowled at them. Then he saw me and just stopped and watched me walk by. No hello, no "f you", nothing. Just his had on his hip with his rose clippers. I felt I was seeing a Stephen King character in the flesh. He finally went back to pruning after we turned the corner - I could hear the clippers. And yes - I made sure he wasn't coming after me. My husband and I have often mused at leaving him a present -- no, not a poop on fire in a bag present - but a nice gift. Grumpy people like that can sometimes be very lonely and therefore ornery. Maybe he just needs someone to love.

But back to the days stroll...

As we walked we came across a Rottweiler, very nice dog. But, he was off his leash, hanging with his owners in the front of his house. He startled us by jumping out of a bush - and his owners promptly called him back. Damn near gave me a heart attack. That is a big problem in our literal "neck of the woods" - people don't mind the leash laws, nor do they care if their dogs wonder around. Could this be why the grinch hates dogs?

I've brought a bunch of strays home - called their owners and had them picked up. Thank goodness I've done that because one of our dogs got out when we were in San Diego and a good Samaritan called us. Karma points are good things to build up. During the heavy rains and thunderstorms we had this year - dogs were getting out all the time. This is why our dogs stay in the house when we're not home...

Today's contemplations

Today I contemplated the following (not in this order)
1. Lunch.
2. Why people hit their brakes when they see a cop giving someone a ticket
3. Why my dog has no will power when in comes to chicken
4. Breakfast
5. How I am going to get my daughter to sleep the night in her crib.
6. String theory
7. The final Jeopardy answer
8. Who Shakespeare actually wrote the sonnets to
9. What color to dye my hair
and
10. What to do with my life...

Venom

I work in a field where everyone thinks they are experts. Yep - the wacky world of the arts. Everyone is entitled to their opinion - I could care less if someone doesn't like my work - my work is not for everyone. But to personally attack me is another story. A certain website that posts reviews allows its readers to comment on the reviews. Following a very good review, a certain reader, who had NOT seen the work in question, immediately, upon seeing my name attached, dismissed it as rubbish. Another person said I didn't know "which end is up" - on any of my work. Now, there were other people who rallied to my side, championed the work and me and seemed rational. But, the venom is what I can't shake - it is quite malicious. It was directed at ME not the work. Obviously, there are some people out there that really hate me. That's a disturbing thought.

I know I shouldn't let it bug me -- but I do.

PC Police

Okay - I thought the whole "PC" craze was over -- but obviously NOT! I was talking with a group of moms and mentioned that my daughter was babysat by some friends in their "lesbian love den." I was immediately pounced upon that I was not being PC. WHAT! First of all, those were my friends words, not mine. Second of all - it was said with a great deal of affection. Most of my friends are gay, and I have never had to watch what I say in front of them. But these hyper-sensitive heterosexuals made me feel awful.

So I chatted with another mom after everyone had left. "Did I say something wrong?" I asked her. She explained, that there are certain people in this VERY liberal area in which we live, that just don't understand or know gay folks - and thus are terrified themselves that they will say something offensive and be considered homophobic.

Great, so now I am being judged because these people are narrow minded. I have to say - it really made me feel like crap. These women are part of a Moms group that I hooked up with so my daughter could play with other kids. I guess I am just going to have to limit my conversation to poopy diapers and the weather.

I think they all need to watch some Carlos Mencia.

The supermarket check out

Yes, I am ashamed. I did it. I looked at the People magazine with the "bragelina" baby. I was in the checkout line and there it was. I was curious - I wanted to see what $4 million plus bought ya. They were very professional, of course. Ms. Jolie looked relaxed and happy - not sleep deprived, like most new moms. They must have a nanny and a good make-up artist. Cute baby, but then all babies are adorable. It's pretty disgusting that celebrities have so much power. At least they donated the money to a charitable cause - hey I know a lot about this child and this couple - why is that? Oh yeah - because every frickin' news channel has covered it. Soldiers are dying over seas, we are suffering from global warming, and yet, this baby has dominated the news. Hmmm. And did I look at the Time or Newsweek in the check out line -- nope. What is wrong with me. But I wasn't the only one. There were a bunch of very embarrassed people flipping through those pages. No one bought it (at least not in my line), but we all took a gander.

The universe is vast...

...and there are days when I feel like a little speck.

Flying and other modes of transportation

In the last few weeks I have been on six airplanes. I have four more (two trips) left and then I'm done. It's all business. My daughter has been flying home and back with me. At 9 months she is really active -- but is an amazing traveler. She smiles at everyone and only gets fussy if she's hungry. I warn anyone that sits next to me that I will be nursing during the flight - and I have not met with any animosity. Sine I get to preboard - it is up to others to choose to sit next to me (I've been flying on Southwest - so you can pick your seat). I hold my child so she is standing on my lap -- very easy to see. The only problem has been that she seems to like falling asleep on the decent -- so I have to wake her up to get off the plane -- and she does air her displeasure.

Lots of moms seem to travel in the mid-afternoon. I have yet to see a Dad solo with a baby -- toddler, yes - baby, no. And most of the moms are solo. Hmmm... wonder what that means...

I had to rent a car on one of these round trips. You can only rent automatics. Now, I have only been driving a "stick" for about four years. I love it. Automatics are boring. The guys at the rent-a-car place when I returned ut were overly gregarious. It was kinda annoying - and grotesque. But, when I picked up the car - they took four phone calls before they helped me and that too was annoying.

todays borrowed thought

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper.
Robert Frost

Technology dependent

I have been without internet for over a week. I had 121 messages (not counting junk mail) in my in-box. It was rather frustrating to not have access from my own computer -- I could check it from other people's. But, I will admit, there was something nice about not being tied to the computer every night.

I also lost my cell phone a couple weeks ago. I was lazy and did not put phone #s in my palm - so when I lost the phone, I lost everyone's numbers. I didn't even have my mom's number. Thank god I actually knew my older sisters "digits" - and she gave me the important ones. Now, one would think these numbers would be in my palm pilot. Wrong. I forgot to hotsink with my desktop 10 months ago and my desktop was attacked by 21 spyware viruses, prompting me to do a clean sweep of my computer. The only file forgot to back-up --- you guessed it, my phonebook...

For mother's day my husband got me a camera phone - it's pretty nice. And as irony would have it - the week I got the phone, he broke our digital camera. So now my phone is the only way to chronicle out daughter's life.

I am technology dependent.

Quote of the Day

Creativity is first of all an act of destruction. - Pablo Picasso

Judas, Lutherans and Da Vinci

I've been reading about the Gospel of Judas – I watched the National Geographic special – which is not as good as the magazine’s article on the same subject. I completely addicted to this kind of stuff. Religion is a fascinating topic – all religions interest me. In high school I took a philosophy/religion class – which was amazing. I don’t think public schools can get away with something like that now (thank you Mr. Bush). But, it opened my eyes to the world -- I had been living in my own myopic universe. We did a semester on Philosophy – from Socrates to Foucault – and a semester on world religions from Christianity to Confucianism. It was around this time, I started collecting writings on different religions, and collecting texts.

My father is a Lutheran minister but I would not classify myself as anything. Perhaps it is my way of rebelling but I don’t want to define myself according to an organized religion. I am drawn to religion from a scholarly perspective, I think. Maybe I am just trying to figure out what “fits.” Who knows. I just don’t see how one group of people can be “right.”

My dad’s side of the family had a reunion last summer. Now, these are a bunch of terrific people. All of my uncles are ministers and my aunt is married to one (my grandfather was a minister too) – so let’s just say – religion is super imortant. Anyway – they put together a new family list, complete with addresses, e-mails and birthdays. And now I get a Lutheran magazine delivered to my house every month. Perhaps my relatives noticed my sister and me “faking” our way through the Prayers of Thanksgiving. Or maybe it was the way we chose NOT to discuss what we do on Sunday mornings (for me it’s usually coffee and reading the New York Times; for my sister it’s sleeping in). But, someone must have thought we needed a subscription to the magazine – that we needed a little “saving.” It wasn’t just sent to me, but my sister as well. Perhaps it is curiosity, like watching The Factor, but I flip through it. It’s interesting but heavy handed. It’s not going to change my views on religion.

Back to the topic at hand: years ago, I read Elaine Pagel's books on the Gnostic Gospels (and her Origin of Satan – which is a great read) – so this latest info on Judas doesn’t exactly surprise me. Besides, anyone who has seen Jesus Christ Superstar (one of my favorite musicals) – sees sympathetic Judas, different from the one depicted in the bible

What disturbs me are the people that are so adamant about the bible being the word of God and their fervor to defend it. And what I find even more disconcerting is the growing number of people who quote verse from the bible without having read it and then try to convert you! My father has been known to have full-on conversations with these door-to-door bible thumpers. The end result is usually the undoing of the door ringing nuisance by my father’s gift of debate. To my father’s credit, he actually liked The Last Temptation of Christ and saw it as an interesting interpretation of the passion. I have yet to ask him if he saw Mr. Gibson’s foray into the biblical film genre.

What I find quite silly (because to find it unsettling would give it way too much clout), is the millions of Da Vinci code fans that think Dan Brown stumbled onto some “new” information. That’s just ridiculous and people should read more than just fiction written like a screenplay. Esoteric texts have been readily available for years (currently in internet form on the Sacred Text Archive – which is fantastic site and I recommend checking it out – see the links to the side). Besides, he is not the first person to take on the bible… There was another book I remember reading when I was in junior high. Can’t remember the name of it. But, at the end – the romantically linked couple came across some old pottery, which held scrolls. The scrolls held the last words of God – in which God admits he made a mistake in creating the ‘flawed’ man and is going to leave us to our own devises… I remember telling my mother – who gave me the book – “Well that actually makes sense.” Unfortunately, the author didn’t quite know how to end his story (sorta like Dan Brown) and the couple decides that it would shatter the world to reveal their findings, so they keep the secret… Too bad…