I was in the hospital laboratory today to get some blood drawn... no biggie - just one of those Day 21 tests to see what is happening to me hormonally during that time in my cycle. Gotta love being a girl.
Anyway - with the 45 minute wait and a little Umberto Eco to keep me occupied, I settled into my nice cozy chair next to a man I guessed was in his late 80s. I felt him sneak a peak at my book. He said nothing.
They called a name.
The woman sitting directly across from him said, "Wally, you're next."
The man said, "Now?"
She said, "No. You're next. I think. The man who was in line before me was just called."
"You coming with me?"
"No. You'll be fine." she said.
He grunted.
I got a good look at her. Obviously his wife, perhaps 8-9 years younger. Died dark hair, but a pleasantly warm disposition. There was nothing patronizing in the way she spoke to him.
She got up. She had this walker that could open up - revealing a pocket in which she had a newspaper. He made a motion to get up too. "Not yet, " she said, "I'm just stretching my legs."
He nodded.
Just the a cell phone went off. It was some 70s porn music. The fella whose phone it was -- 55ish male, no wedding ring- seemed a little embarrased when all the geriatrics looked at him. He avoided eye contact with me, as I tried not to giggle.
"Wally. Wally?" said the woman.
I looked at my seat mate - he was asleep. I looked at the woman. She just smiled at me and and shook her head. I smiled back. She looked at Wally with such love I almost wept.
When they called his name, he got up and went back. 'Here I go." he said.
A moment later a nurse came to talk to Mrs. Wally. "What's his birthday?" she asked (standard question when you sit down to give blood - guess that verifies your identity or something."
"October ??, 1921," she said.
"Thanks. He asked me to ask you." Said the nurse.
"Of course he did, " replied Mrs. Wally with a laugh in her voice.
Wally came out before I went in. The two, in their matching walkers, started towards the door.
"You okay?" she asked, unworried.
"Oh yes," he replied.
"Good," she said, 'lets go get breakfast."
And off they went.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
favorite quote of the week
"Revulsion is good. Revulsion is healthy. Each of us has limits, unarticulated boundaries of taste and tolerance, and sometimes we forget where we are. Peep Land is here to remind us; a fixed compass point by which we can govern our private behavior. Because being grossed out is essential to the human experience; without a perceived depravity, we'd have nothing against which to gauge the advance or decline of culture - our art, our music, our cinema, our books. Without sleaze, the yardstick shrinks at both ends."
-Carl Hiaasen
TEAM RODENT
-Carl Hiaasen
TEAM RODENT
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
resolution check in
Will a little help from my friends, I think I am doing fairly well on the resolutions.
The one I forgot: write every day.
Today I am in my office, listening to the hail storm rage outside as my Kronos Quartet Pandora stations struggles to compete for my attention.
I finished prepping my taxes and got them off to our tax fella.
I have so many projects I just don't really know where to begin.
I read a script of a play that I might direct - the playwright wanted some feedback. It's good. I just know that in taking the gig - I'll get paid crap... But oh Well! It'sa gig right?
I want to write - but I am completely not sure where to start. Which project to pick up.
ARG
The one I forgot: write every day.
Today I am in my office, listening to the hail storm rage outside as my Kronos Quartet Pandora stations struggles to compete for my attention.
I finished prepping my taxes and got them off to our tax fella.
I have so many projects I just don't really know where to begin.
I read a script of a play that I might direct - the playwright wanted some feedback. It's good. I just know that in taking the gig - I'll get paid crap... But oh Well! It'sa gig right?
I want to write - but I am completely not sure where to start. Which project to pick up.
ARG
Monday, February 09, 2009
Re-entry
Well, I am doing better today. I was smelling mold in my home office and I FREAKED OUT because I have a pretty intense library in there. So, I spend a little over 2 hours cleaning my book cases and found one book with mold. It was just a spot on a theatre book - so I cut out the offending area. The husband says it looks like the book just got wet -- okay. But I wasn't going to let it take over... The surgical incision did not in any way shape or form damage the content of the book...
The taxes will be done today and so will my first round of filing for unemployment... got everything in the mail back from them...
The taxes will be done today and so will my first round of filing for unemployment... got everything in the mail back from them...
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
unemployment
I am now officially unemployed. To quote Pooh, "I'm a little black rain cloud". I thought I would be okay - but I'm not really. I've never been laid-off. I've never filed for unemployment - which I did yesterday and it took me two hours. I have so many things that I know I could/should be doing. Writing projects - YEAH. Updating my website. But I'm a bit uninspired at the moment. It's only been three days - I guess I should cut myself some slack.
I have 4 hours every morning to myself while the kid is at day-care. She is no longer full time there. The last two days have been rough once I've picked her up. I'm feeling like a crappy parent. She wants to watch TV - I say No. And there is chaos. So today - after I pick her up - we're going to the park. And tomorrow we're going to the library.
I am currently working on the taxes. It's a huge ordeal for us. We have not just our W2 but a lot of 1099 work as well. We got seriously slammed last year and I have major fear of that again this year. I am still paying off last year... We made nice money - and we totally didn't spend it wisely. Where in the hell did it go? Now, I am a complete wreck about our finances. I think I am beyond stressed.... so I am going to spend the next couple days, taking deep breaths, and getting a firm hold of our financial picture.
Yes. That is what I will do.
I have 4 hours every morning to myself while the kid is at day-care. She is no longer full time there. The last two days have been rough once I've picked her up. I'm feeling like a crappy parent. She wants to watch TV - I say No. And there is chaos. So today - after I pick her up - we're going to the park. And tomorrow we're going to the library.
I am currently working on the taxes. It's a huge ordeal for us. We have not just our W2 but a lot of 1099 work as well. We got seriously slammed last year and I have major fear of that again this year. I am still paying off last year... We made nice money - and we totally didn't spend it wisely. Where in the hell did it go? Now, I am a complete wreck about our finances. I think I am beyond stressed.... so I am going to spend the next couple days, taking deep breaths, and getting a firm hold of our financial picture.
Yes. That is what I will do.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
positive discipline
I went to a lecture last night by Jane Nelsen, author of the positive discipline books. I had read the infant/toddler book when the kid turned one - and it was nice to have some of these things reiterated. Lately, with the impending stress of unemployment, I have been a little quick to temper in the daily power struggles with the kid and tend to be a bit of a drill sergeant about getting dressed, sitting at the table, etc.
some of the "tool kit" Nelsen provided:
kindness shows respect for the child
firmness shows respect for the situation.
connection before correction
hugs hugs hugs
positive time-outs -- creating a positive not punitive area for the time out area... rename it to "Cool off space" or "the feel good space"
understand age appropriateness
follow up with curiosity questions... (what were you trying to accomplish? How would you solve it?)
Children are always making decisions about... who they are, what the world is like, and what they need to survive and thrive.
supervision, supervision, supervision, re-direction, teaching w/o expecting understanding
show them what to do instead of what not to do
help children develop the perception "I am capable"
help children explore the consequences of their actions/choices
There were a couple things that came up that I admit I do all the time. I help the kid get dresses, it goes faster. She can dress herself, but I baby her. So, I am going to help her be capable of doing it.
I still carry her around (she's well over 3years and is 32lbs.) - so I'm going to let her walk more - get in her own car seat, etc. The spouse already does this - but I have not.
This morning there was a lot of whining. Instead of telling her to stop whining (which she does to excess nowadays) - I asked her why she was whining? The conversation was interesting. She just wanted my attention as I made breakfast. I told her that if she sat at the table we could talk while I cooked, instead of sitting in the living room watching morning TV (yes, she gets 1-2 PBS shows as we get ready for school...don't judge me!) It worked. We ate breakfast as a family - (we've been doing this at dinner, but breakfast has been more lax). She and I chatted while I cooked. It was lovely.
She also got dressed by herself this morning.
The thing that came up that makes me most sensitive is the whole TV thing. Yes, my kid watches TV. It's true. She has "shows" and "movies". The number of TV has remained consistent, and it is all commercial free (thank god) - and educational. I do what the infamous "they" say to do when your kids watches TV -- engage with them and ask questions.... Thanks to Sid the Science Kid, my girl brushes her teeth twice a day without argument because she learned about cavities.
But the list of movies has gotten larger and larger. Many of my gal pals let their kids watch one movie on the weekends - that's it. I applaud that. That is going to be my goal. Although we strive to never let her watch a movie on a week-night, the two week school vacation thwarted all that...
so to add to the resolution list: less TV for the Kid (and the mommy).
some of the "tool kit" Nelsen provided:
kindness shows respect for the child
firmness shows respect for the situation.
connection before correction
hugs hugs hugs
positive time-outs -- creating a positive not punitive area for the time out area... rename it to "Cool off space" or "the feel good space"
understand age appropriateness
follow up with curiosity questions... (what were you trying to accomplish? How would you solve it?)
Children are always making decisions about... who they are, what the world is like, and what they need to survive and thrive.
supervision, supervision, supervision, re-direction, teaching w/o expecting understanding
show them what to do instead of what not to do
help children develop the perception "I am capable"
help children explore the consequences of their actions/choices
There were a couple things that came up that I admit I do all the time. I help the kid get dresses, it goes faster. She can dress herself, but I baby her. So, I am going to help her be capable of doing it.
I still carry her around (she's well over 3years and is 32lbs.) - so I'm going to let her walk more - get in her own car seat, etc. The spouse already does this - but I have not.
This morning there was a lot of whining. Instead of telling her to stop whining (which she does to excess nowadays) - I asked her why she was whining? The conversation was interesting. She just wanted my attention as I made breakfast. I told her that if she sat at the table we could talk while I cooked, instead of sitting in the living room watching morning TV (yes, she gets 1-2 PBS shows as we get ready for school...don't judge me!) It worked. We ate breakfast as a family - (we've been doing this at dinner, but breakfast has been more lax). She and I chatted while I cooked. It was lovely.
She also got dressed by herself this morning.
The thing that came up that makes me most sensitive is the whole TV thing. Yes, my kid watches TV. It's true. She has "shows" and "movies". The number of TV has remained consistent, and it is all commercial free (thank god) - and educational. I do what the infamous "they" say to do when your kids watches TV -- engage with them and ask questions.... Thanks to Sid the Science Kid, my girl brushes her teeth twice a day without argument because she learned about cavities.
But the list of movies has gotten larger and larger. Many of my gal pals let their kids watch one movie on the weekends - that's it. I applaud that. That is going to be my goal. Although we strive to never let her watch a movie on a week-night, the two week school vacation thwarted all that...
so to add to the resolution list: less TV for the Kid (and the mommy).
Thursday, January 08, 2009
short timers
I have a horrific case of short-timer's disease.
I'm being "let-go" in three weeks. There is no money for my position...
There are a lot of things I need to finish up.
But today - I am planning to take home 1/4 of my office things. So that by my last day - I have nothing personal left in the office.
I'm being "let-go" in three weeks. There is no money for my position...
There are a lot of things I need to finish up.
But today - I am planning to take home 1/4 of my office things. So that by my last day - I have nothing personal left in the office.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
dieting
The husband and I are on a diet. Yeah, who isn't after the first of the year? But we're doing good. We're South Beaching. Yep - the two week induction is a bitch. He got to cheat on New Years Eve since he was working at a swanky party. And I had a glass of $250 Port that was offered to me a a party Friday night. Like I was going to pass that up! But we have been doing great considering all the temptations that have come in front of us.
One week from tomorrow and we get whole grains and fruit again and it will be glorious!
One week from tomorrow and we get whole grains and fruit again and it will be glorious!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
New Years Resolutions
In no particular order:
Finish the two big writing projects that I have on my desk.
Eat better, feed the family better food
make a fantastic cake
exercise (of course...)
walk the dogs more
Take a vacation with the husband and the kid
have at least one DATE a month with the husband - that does NOT involve an opening night or theatre or work
Spend more time with Friends
Use the telescope with the kid
the backyard (nothing more needs to be said)
the kitchen (paint those cabinets and the walls)
be better about money and really get a handle on the cash flow
No more new TV Shows TiVoed!!!!!
Less TV... less TV... less TV... more books
Finish the two big writing projects that I have on my desk.
Eat better, feed the family better food
make a fantastic cake
exercise (of course...)
walk the dogs more
Take a vacation with the husband and the kid
have at least one DATE a month with the husband - that does NOT involve an opening night or theatre or work
Spend more time with Friends
Use the telescope with the kid
the backyard (nothing more needs to be said)
the kitchen (paint those cabinets and the walls)
be better about money and really get a handle on the cash flow
No more new TV Shows TiVoed!!!!!
Less TV... less TV... less TV... more books
End of the year wrap up
So 2008 was a most unpleasant year. With My dad having a stroke, a tree falling in our yard, finding out that I'm going to be unemployed at the end of Jan.... the list goes on and on...
But - the kid is amazing. My friends rock. And the husband is fantastic.
The book club is still plugging along and I was able to read some really phenomenal books this year - a lot of things I would not have read if it weren't for the fabulous women in my group...
So here's my list!
Books
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (started in 2007)
The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham
Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson
Options by the Fake Steve Jobs
Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch By Neil
Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
I am America (and So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Perfect Madness by Judith Warner
The Three Martini Playdate by Christie Mellor
The Letters of Claire Clairmont
The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman
Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Night by Elie Wiesel
The White Castle by Orhan Pamuk
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon
The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie King
Interred In Their Bones by Jennifer Lee Carrell
Reduced Shakespeare: The Attention-Impaired Reader's Guide to the World's Best
Playwright [Abridged] by Reed Martin & Austin Tichneor
House of Mondavi by Julia Flynn Siler
Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver
The Universe in a Single Atom by His Holiness the Dali Lama
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan
Picasso’s Guernica by Anthony Blunt
Pablo Picasso by Mary Ann Caws
Picasso’s Weeping Woman by Mary Ann Caws
Picasso In the War Years by Stephen Nash, Editor
The highlight of my movie viewings this year was that on our 10th wedding anniversary, the husband and I took the kid to see Wall-E. It was the best romantic film of the year.
Films
The Good German (DVD)
The Simpsons Movie (DVD)
Fast Food Nation (HBO)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (DVD)
Eastern Promises (DVD)
Curious George (HBO) (many many many viewings)
Futurama: Bender’s Big Score (DVD)
Babel (DVD)
Evan Almighty (DVD)
Eragorn (HBO)
Oceans Thirteen (DVD)
The DiVinci Code (DVD)
Juno (airplane)
The Savages (airplane)
The Third Man (DVD)
No Country For Old Men (DVD)
The Bourne Ultimatum (DVD)
Live Free and Die Hard (DVD) – okay I slept through the beginning,,, so I guess it doesn’t count.
Blades of Glory (HBO) – saw the end first…
Sweeny Todd (DVD)
A Good Year (HBO)
This Film is Not Yet Rated (DVD)
Meet the Robinsons (DVD)
The Aristocats (DVD) – reALLY I HAD NEVER SEEN IT
Knocked Up (HBO)
Recount (HBO)
Indian Jones and the Crystal Skull – in the theatre
The Departed (Blueray)
Music & Lyrics (Blueray)
National Treasure 2 :Book of Secrets (DVD)
Jesus Camp (DVD) --- didn’t make it thru – had enough
Hairspray (HBO)
A Night at the Museum (HBO)
300 (HBO)
Dan in Real Life (Blueray)
Ready? OK! - in the theatre
The Darjeeling Limited (DVD)
Persepolis (DVD)
Wall-E - in the Theatre!!!
The Will Be Blood (DVD)
3:10 to Yuma (DVD)
Searching for Deborah Winger (DVD)
La Vie en Rose (DVD)
Shoot ‘em up (DVD) –okay I missed the first 20 minutes and the husband brought me up to speed
Hellboy 2 (DVD)
Tinkerbell (DVD) – oh so many times
Get Smart (DVD)
Hancock (DVD)
Mr. Magoriums Magical Emporium (HBO)
Flushed Away (HBO)
Trifels (screening at Pixar)
Picasso : Sex, Magic, Death
The Mystery of Picasso
Burn After Reading (DVD)
The Mummy 3 (DVD)
Stardust (DVD)
But - the kid is amazing. My friends rock. And the husband is fantastic.
The book club is still plugging along and I was able to read some really phenomenal books this year - a lot of things I would not have read if it weren't for the fabulous women in my group...
So here's my list!
Books
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (started in 2007)
The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham
Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson
Options by the Fake Steve Jobs
Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch By Neil
Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
I am America (and So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Perfect Madness by Judith Warner
The Three Martini Playdate by Christie Mellor
The Letters of Claire Clairmont
The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman
Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Night by Elie Wiesel
The White Castle by Orhan Pamuk
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon
The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie King
Interred In Their Bones by Jennifer Lee Carrell
Reduced Shakespeare: The Attention-Impaired Reader's Guide to the World's Best
Playwright [Abridged] by Reed Martin & Austin Tichneor
House of Mondavi by Julia Flynn Siler
Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver
The Universe in a Single Atom by His Holiness the Dali Lama
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan
Picasso’s Guernica by Anthony Blunt
Pablo Picasso by Mary Ann Caws
Picasso’s Weeping Woman by Mary Ann Caws
Picasso In the War Years by Stephen Nash, Editor
The highlight of my movie viewings this year was that on our 10th wedding anniversary, the husband and I took the kid to see Wall-E. It was the best romantic film of the year.
Films
The Good German (DVD)
The Simpsons Movie (DVD)
Fast Food Nation (HBO)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (DVD)
Eastern Promises (DVD)
Curious George (HBO) (many many many viewings)
Futurama: Bender’s Big Score (DVD)
Babel (DVD)
Evan Almighty (DVD)
Eragorn (HBO)
Oceans Thirteen (DVD)
The DiVinci Code (DVD)
Juno (airplane)
The Savages (airplane)
The Third Man (DVD)
No Country For Old Men (DVD)
The Bourne Ultimatum (DVD)
Live Free and Die Hard (DVD) – okay I slept through the beginning,,, so I guess it doesn’t count.
Blades of Glory (HBO) – saw the end first…
Sweeny Todd (DVD)
A Good Year (HBO)
This Film is Not Yet Rated (DVD)
Meet the Robinsons (DVD)
The Aristocats (DVD) – reALLY I HAD NEVER SEEN IT
Knocked Up (HBO)
Recount (HBO)
Indian Jones and the Crystal Skull – in the theatre
The Departed (Blueray)
Music & Lyrics (Blueray)
National Treasure 2 :Book of Secrets (DVD)
Jesus Camp (DVD) --- didn’t make it thru – had enough
Hairspray (HBO)
A Night at the Museum (HBO)
300 (HBO)
Dan in Real Life (Blueray)
Ready? OK! - in the theatre
The Darjeeling Limited (DVD)
Persepolis (DVD)
Wall-E - in the Theatre!!!
The Will Be Blood (DVD)
3:10 to Yuma (DVD)
Searching for Deborah Winger (DVD)
La Vie en Rose (DVD)
Shoot ‘em up (DVD) –okay I missed the first 20 minutes and the husband brought me up to speed
Hellboy 2 (DVD)
Tinkerbell (DVD) – oh so many times
Get Smart (DVD)
Hancock (DVD)
Mr. Magoriums Magical Emporium (HBO)
Flushed Away (HBO)
Trifels (screening at Pixar)
Picasso : Sex, Magic, Death
The Mystery of Picasso
Burn After Reading (DVD)
The Mummy 3 (DVD)
Stardust (DVD)
Thursday, December 04, 2008
I just realized that Facebook has been sucking me away from my blogs. Not just this one, but the one I have for my kid too... Okay and my own laziness. But the distraction of Facebook is really intense. I find myself checking it all the time - and now that people use it to e-mail me as well - it makes a fourth e-mail account I have to check.
ARG.
But something interesting happened yesterday. I have a bunch of "friends" on FB - a lot of them are people that I've done shows with, etc. My high school boyfriend "friended" me about a month ago. Okay. Whatever. Well, his wife "friended" me today. I have met her once about 8 years ago (which was the last time I saw the old boyfriend). So, what is that about? I am tempted to form some interesting theories about why she wants to be my "friend" - but she only looks good in one scenario. Perhaps I will use the good one...
My spouse is also on Facebook - and I have no clue who some of his friends are - and frankly, I don't want to be "friends" with everyone he is "friends" with.
Anyway - I'm cutting down on my FB time.
ARG.
But something interesting happened yesterday. I have a bunch of "friends" on FB - a lot of them are people that I've done shows with, etc. My high school boyfriend "friended" me about a month ago. Okay. Whatever. Well, his wife "friended" me today. I have met her once about 8 years ago (which was the last time I saw the old boyfriend). So, what is that about? I am tempted to form some interesting theories about why she wants to be my "friend" - but she only looks good in one scenario. Perhaps I will use the good one...
My spouse is also on Facebook - and I have no clue who some of his friends are - and frankly, I don't want to be "friends" with everyone he is "friends" with.
Anyway - I'm cutting down on my FB time.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
its interesting what comes out
Warning: stream of consciousness ahead:
I had my book club last night. We read Michael Pollan's THE OMNIVORE'S DILEMMA. I was really surprised by what came out of my mouth during the discussion. Obviously the food I give my child has been on my mind a lot lately. My husband and I could both loose a few pounds and I want to set up healthy eating practices for my child. But the force in which these things have been eating away at my subconscious surprised me last night. As one of my friends put it - this book came at just the right time for me.
Now, I am not talking becoming a vegetarian again... when I had the realization that I could kill, clean and eat a chicken (thanks Gramps for doing a demo your farm when I was 8) I knew that that wouldn't happen. I just want the best possible food for my family. I want food (in the words of Fight Club) that is clean. I didn't know that cows don't eat grass anymore. They eat corn. Thanks to FAST FOOD NATION I don't think I could eat a fast-food burger knowing what the government allows an okay manure level to be.
I realized that this has been building because of the company I keep. My "Mommies" (friends from the mom group) try to eat organic, watch what food is put on their tables, cook amazing food, have sustainable gardens and do all that within strict budgets.
I was raised on Swansons, Mama Celeste, Fruity Pebbles and fast food. My mom is an excellent cook, but my mom also raised three kids on her own and didn't have time. I don't blame her for my belief that all fish tastes like fish-sticks. I blame the system that makes crappy foods cheaper than healthy foods. So infuriating.
But I also realize that this has been building because I am watching my little sister battle a weight problem. She used to be 100lbs (and 5'7") - obviously super-model skinny. Now she has gotta be 180lbs. She's trying, but with some medical complications, and stress, and a new culture infusing her home, and an over 30 year old metabolism -- how she stayed so thin before is not working now. I talk with her about nutrition and then go to a party at her house where the food (albeit super yummy - she is an awesome cook) can clog arteries just by looking at it. When she told me she only drinks whole milk I damn near fell over. Now, she is working hard on the problem, which is now a health issue. But I am really worried.
Something happened to me last week. I decided not to go to Safeway. I realized that they didn't have what I wanted: whole wheat pasta, dried mango (without sugar). So I went to the community market and found what I was looking for. I am of course worried that I am now going to be spending more money - but one of my friends said to me last night that she took her regular shopping list (and she normally shops at New Leaf) and went to Safeway - and spent about the same amount of money.
I need to track this for myself.
The other thing I talked about was food waste. I am horrified by the amount of food I throw away. Yes a compost heap is on the way. But still... FIVE avocados tossed in the trash? I realized that we buy in bulk and only once a week and things go off. All the good intentions I have about making lunch and bringing it to work go the way of the dodo when I am confronted with dining out for lunch... And now with the prospect of being unemployed in a couple months - I need to be watching the $$$.
So what do I do?
I think the Europeans have a great idea. Lots of small trips to the store, to buy fresh meat and produce. Yes, this will e a big pain in the ass since the husband and I both work. But why not try it. And make eating an event. The rush to get back to the TV or the computer has to stop. Gobbling dinner is not good for you. hen the husband and I eat out, we don't care how long it takes (unless we have plans after) why can't we have that same attitude at home and savor the food.
Also - what about creating a weekly menu? When we did the South Beach years ago, we followed that and did really well. Perhaps that is the type of regime I/we need.
For some of my friends eating is a political act. I'm not quite there yet. Right now it is about eating food that is delicious and healthy. Its is developing habits for my child that will give her joy in dining and a positive self image and a healthy life.
Enough for now. Polls have closed in Ind, KY and NH. Gotta watch.
I had my book club last night. We read Michael Pollan's THE OMNIVORE'S DILEMMA. I was really surprised by what came out of my mouth during the discussion. Obviously the food I give my child has been on my mind a lot lately. My husband and I could both loose a few pounds and I want to set up healthy eating practices for my child. But the force in which these things have been eating away at my subconscious surprised me last night. As one of my friends put it - this book came at just the right time for me.
Now, I am not talking becoming a vegetarian again... when I had the realization that I could kill, clean and eat a chicken (thanks Gramps for doing a demo your farm when I was 8) I knew that that wouldn't happen. I just want the best possible food for my family. I want food (in the words of Fight Club) that is clean. I didn't know that cows don't eat grass anymore. They eat corn. Thanks to FAST FOOD NATION I don't think I could eat a fast-food burger knowing what the government allows an okay manure level to be.
I realized that this has been building because of the company I keep. My "Mommies" (friends from the mom group) try to eat organic, watch what food is put on their tables, cook amazing food, have sustainable gardens and do all that within strict budgets.
I was raised on Swansons, Mama Celeste, Fruity Pebbles and fast food. My mom is an excellent cook, but my mom also raised three kids on her own and didn't have time. I don't blame her for my belief that all fish tastes like fish-sticks. I blame the system that makes crappy foods cheaper than healthy foods. So infuriating.
But I also realize that this has been building because I am watching my little sister battle a weight problem. She used to be 100lbs (and 5'7") - obviously super-model skinny. Now she has gotta be 180lbs. She's trying, but with some medical complications, and stress, and a new culture infusing her home, and an over 30 year old metabolism -- how she stayed so thin before is not working now. I talk with her about nutrition and then go to a party at her house where the food (albeit super yummy - she is an awesome cook) can clog arteries just by looking at it. When she told me she only drinks whole milk I damn near fell over. Now, she is working hard on the problem, which is now a health issue. But I am really worried.
Something happened to me last week. I decided not to go to Safeway. I realized that they didn't have what I wanted: whole wheat pasta, dried mango (without sugar). So I went to the community market and found what I was looking for. I am of course worried that I am now going to be spending more money - but one of my friends said to me last night that she took her regular shopping list (and she normally shops at New Leaf) and went to Safeway - and spent about the same amount of money.
I need to track this for myself.
The other thing I talked about was food waste. I am horrified by the amount of food I throw away. Yes a compost heap is on the way. But still... FIVE avocados tossed in the trash? I realized that we buy in bulk and only once a week and things go off. All the good intentions I have about making lunch and bringing it to work go the way of the dodo when I am confronted with dining out for lunch... And now with the prospect of being unemployed in a couple months - I need to be watching the $$$.
So what do I do?
I think the Europeans have a great idea. Lots of small trips to the store, to buy fresh meat and produce. Yes, this will e a big pain in the ass since the husband and I both work. But why not try it. And make eating an event. The rush to get back to the TV or the computer has to stop. Gobbling dinner is not good for you. hen the husband and I eat out, we don't care how long it takes (unless we have plans after) why can't we have that same attitude at home and savor the food.
Also - what about creating a weekly menu? When we did the South Beach years ago, we followed that and did really well. Perhaps that is the type of regime I/we need.
For some of my friends eating is a political act. I'm not quite there yet. Right now it is about eating food that is delicious and healthy. Its is developing habits for my child that will give her joy in dining and a positive self image and a healthy life.
Enough for now. Polls have closed in Ind, KY and NH. Gotta watch.
Friday, October 31, 2008
where have I been
Wow - I haven't posted in a while. Well, life has been crazy.
I went into rehearsal at the same time the spouse was doing a show out of town. Then he went out of town again to go into tech at the same time I went into tech on my show. Besides trying to be present for my actors, make sure the kid was okay, and go thru a doggie surgery (she's fine) - it was a bit stressful.
Now the thing I have been avoiding for the last two months is on the forefront of my mind. My day job rests in the hands of a couple foundations. Now, normally I'd say - oh there's a great chance my position will continue to be funded. But with the current economic climate... most bets are off.
So I now get to set some priorities. My web page & sending my resume out into the world.
Anyone need a director?
I went into rehearsal at the same time the spouse was doing a show out of town. Then he went out of town again to go into tech at the same time I went into tech on my show. Besides trying to be present for my actors, make sure the kid was okay, and go thru a doggie surgery (she's fine) - it was a bit stressful.
Now the thing I have been avoiding for the last two months is on the forefront of my mind. My day job rests in the hands of a couple foundations. Now, normally I'd say - oh there's a great chance my position will continue to be funded. But with the current economic climate... most bets are off.
So I now get to set some priorities. My web page & sending my resume out into the world.
Anyone need a director?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
The end of days....
I am not one to embrace prophecies about the end of the world... but... today...
So the kid and I went into Kmart. I wanted to get her a new toothbrush and they have them super cheap there. So we walk in and I put her in a cart. She says, "Mommy I want a blue cart". I said, "the carts are red." She said, "over there! I want a blue one." I looked and sure enough - blue carts. At Safeway and Home Depot she rides in those toy car carts... So we went over and I put her in. It was only at that moment I discovered, to my horror, that they are TV CARTS.
Yep. The kid has a TV in the cart with them - they can watch a Dora, Backyardigans (sp?) or Wonderpets. "F**K" says I as I am now committed to pushing her around in this abomination. The screen above intermittently plays advertisements. And plays them LOUDLY. The ads - for hair and relaxation something - seemed geared towards women. I tried to figure out what triggers the ad - I think it played every time I stopped for more than three minutes.So what should have been a 5 minute excursion - turned into a 23 minute one as I had to let the entire episode play... otherwise there would have been screaming. In retrospect - I should have just let the screaming happen.
I guess soon we will find out if Androids dream of electric sheep...
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Amazon's selections
So when you sign on to Amazon - you get your home page - which they tell ya to get a little something off your wish list or make recommendations based on your last couple purchases. Now, I have two wish lists - one for me and one for the kid. I recently added a bunch of books and toys to her list. I also just bought the DVD of THE SWARM for work - research on a show.
So underneath the "Get yourself a little something" which was compelety filled with stuff from my daughter's list (groovy girls and OZ books) it had "More to explore" which was all horror movies - and I mean the really scary ones from the late 70s early 80s... the ones that caused nightmares in me as a kid...
And you should see the combination of stuff that comes up when I hit "my amazon".
Makes me giggle.
So underneath the "Get yourself a little something" which was compelety filled with stuff from my daughter's list (groovy girls and OZ books) it had "More to explore" which was all horror movies - and I mean the really scary ones from the late 70s early 80s... the ones that caused nightmares in me as a kid...
And you should see the combination of stuff that comes up when I hit "my amazon".
Makes me giggle.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Gloria Steinem article
She’s Phyllis Schlafly, Only Younger
by Gloria Steinem
September 4, 2008
Here’s the good news: Women have become so politically powerful that even the anti-feminist right wing—the folks with a headlock on the Republican Party—are trying to appease the gender gap with a first-ever female vice president. We owe this to women— and to many men too—who have picketed, gone on hunger strikes or confronted violence at the polls so women can vote. We owe it to Shirley Chisholm, who first took the “white-male-only” sign off the White House, and to Hillary Rodham Clinton, who hung in there through ridicule and misogyny to win 18 million voters.
But here is even better news: It won’t work. This isn’t the first time a boss has picked an unqualified woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most other women want and need. Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It’s about making life more fair for women everywhere. It’s not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It’s about baking a new pie.
Selecting Sarah Palin, who was touted all summer by Rush Limbaugh, is no way to attract most women, including die-hard Clinton supporters. Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton. Her down-home, divisive and deceptive speech did nothing to cosmetize a Republican convention that has more than twice as many male delegates as female, a presidential candidate owned and operated by the right wing and a platform that opposes pretty much everything Clinton’s candidacy stood for—and that Barack Obama’s still does. To vote in protest for McCain/Palin would be like saying, “Somebody stole my shoes, so I’ll amputate my legs.”
This is not to beat up on Palin. I defend her right to be wrong, even on issues that matter most to me. I regret that people say she can’t do the job because she has children in need of care, especially if they wouldn’t say the same about a father. I get no pleasure from imagining her in the spotlight on national and foreign policy issues about which she has zero background, with one month to learn to compete with Senator Joe Biden’s 37 years’ experience.
Palin has been honest about what she doesn’t know. When asked last month about the vice presidency, she said, “I still can’t answer that question until someone answers for me: What is it exactly that the VP does every day?” When asked about Iraq, she said, “I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq.”
She was elected governor largely because the incumbent was unpopular, and she’s won over Alaskans mostly by using unprecedented oil wealth to give a $1,200 rebate to every resident. Now she is being praised by McCain’s campaign as a tax cutter, despite the fact that Alaska has no state income or sales tax. Perhaps McCain has opposed affirmative action for so long that he doesn’t know it’s about inviting more people to meet standards, not lowering them. Or perhaps McCain is following the Bush administration habit, as in the Justice Department, of putting a job candidate’s views on “God, guns and gays” ahead of competence. The difference is that McCain is filling a job one 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency.
So let’s be clear: The culprit is John McCain. He may have chosen Palin out of change-envy, or a belief that women can’t tell the difference between form and content, but the main motive was to please right-wing ideologues; the same ones who nixed anyone who is now or ever has been a supporter of reproductive freedom. If that were not the case, McCain could have chosen a woman who knows what a vice president does and who has thought about Iraq; someone like Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison or Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine. McCain could have taken a baby step away from right-wing patriarchs who determine his actions, right down to opposing the Violence Against Women Act.
Palin’s value to those patriarchs is clear: She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality. She believes that creationism should be taught in public schools but disbelieves global warming; she opposes gun control but supports government control of women’s wombs; she opposes stem cell research but approves “abstinence-only” programs, which increase unwanted births, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions; she tried to use taxpayers’ millions for a state program to shoot wolves from the air but didn’t spend enough money to fix a state school system with the lowest high-school graduation rate in the nation; she runs with a candidate who opposes the Fair Pay Act but she supports $500 million in subsidies for a natural gas pipeline across Alaska; she supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, though even McCain has opted for the lesser evil of offshore drilling. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger.
I don’t doubt her sincerity. As a lifetime member of the National Rifle Association, she doesn’t just support killing animals from helicopters, she does it herself. She doesn’t just talk about increasing the use of fossil fuels but puts a coal-burning power plant in her own small town. She doesn’t just echo McCain’s pledge to criminalize abortion by overturning Roe vs. Wade, she says that if one of her daughters were impregnated by rape or incest, she should bear the child. She not only opposes reproductive freedom as a human right but implies that it dictates abortion, without saying that it also protects the right to have a child.
So far, the major new McCain supporter that Palin has attracted is James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Of course, for Dobson, “women are merely waiting for their husbands to assume leadership,” so he may be voting for Palin’s husband.
Being a hope-a-holic, however, I can see two long-term bipartisan gains from this contest.
Republicans may learn they can’t appeal to right-wing patriarchs and most women at the same time. A loss in November could cause the centrist majority of Republicans to take back their party, which was the first to support the Equal Rights Amendment and should be the last to want to invite government into the wombs of women.
And American women, more of whom may suffer because of having two full-time jobs than from any other single injustice, finally have support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it. Barack Obama and Joe Biden are campaigning on their belief that men should be, can be and want to be at home for their children.
This could be huge.
This commentary was first published in the Los Angeles Times.
by Gloria Steinem
September 4, 2008
Here’s the good news: Women have become so politically powerful that even the anti-feminist right wing—the folks with a headlock on the Republican Party—are trying to appease the gender gap with a first-ever female vice president. We owe this to women— and to many men too—who have picketed, gone on hunger strikes or confronted violence at the polls so women can vote. We owe it to Shirley Chisholm, who first took the “white-male-only” sign off the White House, and to Hillary Rodham Clinton, who hung in there through ridicule and misogyny to win 18 million voters.
But here is even better news: It won’t work. This isn’t the first time a boss has picked an unqualified woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most other women want and need. Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It’s about making life more fair for women everywhere. It’s not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It’s about baking a new pie.
Selecting Sarah Palin, who was touted all summer by Rush Limbaugh, is no way to attract most women, including die-hard Clinton supporters. Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton. Her down-home, divisive and deceptive speech did nothing to cosmetize a Republican convention that has more than twice as many male delegates as female, a presidential candidate owned and operated by the right wing and a platform that opposes pretty much everything Clinton’s candidacy stood for—and that Barack Obama’s still does. To vote in protest for McCain/Palin would be like saying, “Somebody stole my shoes, so I’ll amputate my legs.”
This is not to beat up on Palin. I defend her right to be wrong, even on issues that matter most to me. I regret that people say she can’t do the job because she has children in need of care, especially if they wouldn’t say the same about a father. I get no pleasure from imagining her in the spotlight on national and foreign policy issues about which she has zero background, with one month to learn to compete with Senator Joe Biden’s 37 years’ experience.
Palin has been honest about what she doesn’t know. When asked last month about the vice presidency, she said, “I still can’t answer that question until someone answers for me: What is it exactly that the VP does every day?” When asked about Iraq, she said, “I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq.”
She was elected governor largely because the incumbent was unpopular, and she’s won over Alaskans mostly by using unprecedented oil wealth to give a $1,200 rebate to every resident. Now she is being praised by McCain’s campaign as a tax cutter, despite the fact that Alaska has no state income or sales tax. Perhaps McCain has opposed affirmative action for so long that he doesn’t know it’s about inviting more people to meet standards, not lowering them. Or perhaps McCain is following the Bush administration habit, as in the Justice Department, of putting a job candidate’s views on “God, guns and gays” ahead of competence. The difference is that McCain is filling a job one 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency.
So let’s be clear: The culprit is John McCain. He may have chosen Palin out of change-envy, or a belief that women can’t tell the difference between form and content, but the main motive was to please right-wing ideologues; the same ones who nixed anyone who is now or ever has been a supporter of reproductive freedom. If that were not the case, McCain could have chosen a woman who knows what a vice president does and who has thought about Iraq; someone like Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison or Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine. McCain could have taken a baby step away from right-wing patriarchs who determine his actions, right down to opposing the Violence Against Women Act.
Palin’s value to those patriarchs is clear: She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality. She believes that creationism should be taught in public schools but disbelieves global warming; she opposes gun control but supports government control of women’s wombs; she opposes stem cell research but approves “abstinence-only” programs, which increase unwanted births, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions; she tried to use taxpayers’ millions for a state program to shoot wolves from the air but didn’t spend enough money to fix a state school system with the lowest high-school graduation rate in the nation; she runs with a candidate who opposes the Fair Pay Act but she supports $500 million in subsidies for a natural gas pipeline across Alaska; she supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, though even McCain has opted for the lesser evil of offshore drilling. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger.
I don’t doubt her sincerity. As a lifetime member of the National Rifle Association, she doesn’t just support killing animals from helicopters, she does it herself. She doesn’t just talk about increasing the use of fossil fuels but puts a coal-burning power plant in her own small town. She doesn’t just echo McCain’s pledge to criminalize abortion by overturning Roe vs. Wade, she says that if one of her daughters were impregnated by rape or incest, she should bear the child. She not only opposes reproductive freedom as a human right but implies that it dictates abortion, without saying that it also protects the right to have a child.
So far, the major new McCain supporter that Palin has attracted is James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Of course, for Dobson, “women are merely waiting for their husbands to assume leadership,” so he may be voting for Palin’s husband.
Being a hope-a-holic, however, I can see two long-term bipartisan gains from this contest.
Republicans may learn they can’t appeal to right-wing patriarchs and most women at the same time. A loss in November could cause the centrist majority of Republicans to take back their party, which was the first to support the Equal Rights Amendment and should be the last to want to invite government into the wombs of women.
And American women, more of whom may suffer because of having two full-time jobs than from any other single injustice, finally have support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it. Barack Obama and Joe Biden are campaigning on their belief that men should be, can be and want to be at home for their children.
This could be huge.
This commentary was first published in the Los Angeles Times.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
still damp
Thanks everyone for your wonderful avengeful messages. I'm fine. I was just flying high with something and then had to compromise it for stupid reasons.
Just another thing this week to make me REALLY REALLY happy I did not get the job.
Anyway. It's been a tiring week. No day care this week and both the husband and I have had a lot of work to do. He hasn't been getting home until midnight - so we've been staying up late. And then getting up early. He leaves on Saturday for 10 days. So things are a bit cray around these parts...
Just another thing this week to make me REALLY REALLY happy I did not get the job.
Anyway. It's been a tiring week. No day care this week and both the husband and I have had a lot of work to do. He hasn't been getting home until midnight - so we've been staying up late. And then getting up early. He leaves on Saturday for 10 days. So things are a bit cray around these parts...
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
c'est la vie
This last couple weeks as been edifying - if nothing else...
It started with a beautiful wedding. Nothing like seeing two people in love get married.
Next was the birthday. The kid turned three. She was thrilled it was her birthday. Thrilled to see her friends and thrilled to eat a cupcake. The happiness that beams from a child's face when everyone sings happy birthday" and then they get to blow out a candle - is true beauty. We had the party in the middle of the week at the aquarium. Lots of fun and no mess at home to clean up!
The birthday was followed by an announcement that I didn't get the job (aka a promotion) at work. I've known for a couple weeks - but haven't been able to say anything to anyone about it (except the hubby). Today, after the announcement, one of my co-workers came into my office and told me how upset his entire department was that I didn't get the job. That made me feel that I have been doing something right.
But I need to talk about the relief that hit me when I found out I didn't get it. The whole interview process made me really analyze why I am in this field: What kind of art inspires me: what gets me passionate: and what is really important. Whereas the job would have doubled my income (yup). I think I would have ultimately been miserable. I would have had to compromise my aesthetic. It would have been a true Faustian bargain.
I realized that I didn't get angry about not getting the job until a co-worker (female, 50+, no kids) said, "Well, you're still a new mom so its probably for the best." Losing a job to a middle-aged white man (the second time in two years I might add) and being the only female candidate (the job I applied for last year I was the only woman) and the youngest - has gotten my feminist ruffled. This woman thought she was making me feel better. It didn't.
Yes, I'm happy I wont have to spend 60 hours at work (as opposed to the 40+ I do now) and yea, we want to have another baby and the job probably would have been more difficult with that going on -- but because I am a mother should have nothing to do with it. And would she have said that to a man?
But this is a bigger issue. Why was I the only women (out of 5 people) interviewed for the job? I know they had a lot of applicants and then a list of 12, then 5, then the final three... And I believe (thought I haven't seen the list) that I was the only woman when it was narrowed to 12. Are there really no other qualified women? I find that INCREDIBLY hard to believe.
It started with a beautiful wedding. Nothing like seeing two people in love get married.
Next was the birthday. The kid turned three. She was thrilled it was her birthday. Thrilled to see her friends and thrilled to eat a cupcake. The happiness that beams from a child's face when everyone sings happy birthday" and then they get to blow out a candle - is true beauty. We had the party in the middle of the week at the aquarium. Lots of fun and no mess at home to clean up!
The birthday was followed by an announcement that I didn't get the job (aka a promotion) at work. I've known for a couple weeks - but haven't been able to say anything to anyone about it (except the hubby). Today, after the announcement, one of my co-workers came into my office and told me how upset his entire department was that I didn't get the job. That made me feel that I have been doing something right.
But I need to talk about the relief that hit me when I found out I didn't get it. The whole interview process made me really analyze why I am in this field: What kind of art inspires me: what gets me passionate: and what is really important. Whereas the job would have doubled my income (yup). I think I would have ultimately been miserable. I would have had to compromise my aesthetic. It would have been a true Faustian bargain.
I realized that I didn't get angry about not getting the job until a co-worker (female, 50+, no kids) said, "Well, you're still a new mom so its probably for the best." Losing a job to a middle-aged white man (the second time in two years I might add) and being the only female candidate (the job I applied for last year I was the only woman) and the youngest - has gotten my feminist ruffled. This woman thought she was making me feel better. It didn't.
Yes, I'm happy I wont have to spend 60 hours at work (as opposed to the 40+ I do now) and yea, we want to have another baby and the job probably would have been more difficult with that going on -- but because I am a mother should have nothing to do with it. And would she have said that to a man?
But this is a bigger issue. Why was I the only women (out of 5 people) interviewed for the job? I know they had a lot of applicants and then a list of 12, then 5, then the final three... And I believe (thought I haven't seen the list) that I was the only woman when it was narrowed to 12. Are there really no other qualified women? I find that INCREDIBLY hard to believe.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)