what's by your toilet?

My sister got me Steven Colbert's book for my birthday. When I showed it to my husband - I said "Yippee new bathroom reading"
He said "Good we can take AMERICA out of there now"

I realized that bathroom reading is important.

Currently in our bathroom:
Steven Colbert's Book I AM AMERICA
1001 PLACES YOU SHOULD SEE BEFORE YOU DIE
1001 PLACES TO SEE US & CANADA
A copy of National Geographic
A Williams Sonoma Catalog
An issue of REAL SIMPLE from October that I haven't read yet...
And various other catalogs from which we will NEVER order.

In our "gust bathroom"
A different copy of National Geographic
AMERICA
EINSTEIN'S DREAMS
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
A CALVIN AND HOBBES book
Some random cigar magazines (the husband's)


I realize that since we moved to this house I started a bizarre magazine ritual. When I get a National Geographic - I put the new one in the living room - the living room one goes to our bathroom - that one goes to the guest bathroom - and that one goes into storage... hmmm what does that say about me?

kitty

We spent Christmas with my sister-in-law in San Diego. We haven't been to her house in 9 months. Soph is 28 months old - so she was 19 months old last time she saw them - and they babysat for me.

They had a beautiful cat that Soph loved chasing around. The cat went missing during those awful fires and never returned.

The husband and I made sure not to mention the cat at all to Soph.

The moment we walked in the house. Soph went "kitty?" and started running around looking for it.

Had no idea she would remember that.

We were able to get her to understand that the cat went away before she saw her cousin. Although he is 16, it was Xmas and we didn't want to remind him of his lost pet.

Crazy that she would remember that 9 months later.

Guess I better watch what I say...

35

I just turned 35. Although I didn't want anyone to make a fuss - I was so surprised by the wonderful events of the last week. I feel very fortunate to have such people in my life.

My mommy group took me out for dinner at this snazzy wine joint downtown. I can't be more thankful for this group of truly inspiring women (and one dad). They bend over backwards to make you feel special.

My husband surprised me with a framed giclee of my favorite Picasso. He also got me a yummy cake and made me scallops and shrimp wrapped in bacon... mmmm.... bacon... love it when that man cooks.

My daughter sang me Happy Birthday for several days. It was beautiful.

And then my gift to myself:
I (with the help of the husband) dyed my hair last night - close to the natural color - was tired of the red - and needed to hide the grey skunk that looked good with the pixi cut - but not so great with the longer do.

actively listening

I attended a work meeting last week. I had to give a presentation about what my job is and how we do a certain aspect of my job. I gave the presentation in Powerpoint. I felt very corporate about it.

There were no questions. The general consensus was that I overloaded them. Well, they asked for a detailed presentation and I gave it to them.

Thank goodness I went first. I was able to relax and really listen to the rest of the meeting.

I listened to every word.

The same cannot be said of the other participants.

As I listened, I watched people checking in and out.

Blank stares.

Cell phone checks.

Nodding when not appropriate.

And yawns.

I watched the various people giving reports try to entertain the group in vain. They made the mistake in using hand-outs. Therefore people flipped thru it and figured they knew its contents.

When a report got someone excited and discourse was about to ensue - the meeting leader tabled it so we could stay on schedule.

Bummer. It was just getting interesting.

that man of mine

So, he ordered the stockings. Yes, he did.

I love him.

stockings

The husband and I got into a heated discussion about Christmas stockings today.

He threw out (he's say I made him throw out) a stocking given to him by an ex-girlfriend. This was a couple years ago (we've been together for 13 years - so I think is was finally about fricking time). This coincided with my father sending us these some-what tasteful Martha Stewart (I know - don't judge) stockings and tree skirt.

Now we have a kid. My mom has made my niece and nephews stockings. Well, she's now re-married and busy - and this is Soph's third Christmas... so I don't think a stocking is coming.

So we decided to get some. I of course love my crack, I mean, the Pottery Barn catalog. God I am so bourgeois.

Anyway - we couldn't decide between reindeer, Christmas trees or just a solid color... and if we wanted to get them personalized...

Knowing us - we wont make any decisions but instead a year from now go - Oh we didn't buy stocking last year, did we? And we'll wait till the last minute to order something in time. And again, Martha will make her way to the fireplace and poor Soph will just have to settle for my old Snoopy stocking...

dentist

I went back to the dentist. Still doing good since the last time. I think that I really hate going. Why is that?

A friend last night told me that dentists have a high suicide rate - because people dread them... urban legend? Hmmm...

Talking about dentists made me remember a movie called The Secret Life of Dentists. Which is an interesting character study and more realistic portrayal of the husband-wife with kids dynamic. I really appreciated the inner struggle of the characters - it wasn't over the top, but subtle, the way people actually are. Things are never black and white - people have hard times articulating their feelings - and this film really embraces that.

todays thoughts

Today I am thinking about... in no particular order..
1. when in the heck are the delivery guys going to arrive with the kid's big girl bed
2. why i am constantly fatigued
3. if there is such a thing as a healthy candy bar
4. how to get the stench of urine out of my couch (thanks boy dog)
5. if my love/hate relationship with my job will hopefully start teetering more towards the love side.

whole wheat scone

I made scones today for the first time.

They were a bit wheat-y, but hit the spot.

I brought 3/4 of them into rehearsals - saving myself one for tomorrow morning and one for Sunday morning. They got devoured by my assistant and the stage manager. We all agree that they were a bit dry - so I think some yogurt or cream cheese or sour cream might help the recipe. I found this on line somewhere - and I added the raspberries -- the original called for dates.

Oven at 425

1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup all purpose flour
2 tablespoons of sugar (I just can't go the Splenda route - just can't do it)
2 1/2 teaspoons of Baking power
1 teaspoon of salt
1 stick of butter (yikes - I know --maybe try margarine next time)
2 eggs
1/2 cup of milk
1/2 bag frozen raspberries

mix dry ingredients. fork in the butter until the dry mixture gets crumbly.
mix the egg and milk and pour over the mixture. Stir it pretty good. Add the raspberries.
dust a cutting board with flour and kneed the mixture. IT will be freezing with the frozen raspberries..

make 8-9 balls and place on a greased cookie sheet.

Bake for 15 mintues...

dumb

I was talking to my stage manager today. I was bemoaning the meeting I have this week.

She said, "what do you have to do?"

I said, "Well after rehearsal today I have to meet with the artistic director - and that will go for at least 2 hours."

"But you can sleep in tomorrow, right?"

"oh no - I have a 10am meeting, then the fitting, then rehearsal, then a special event"

'Your life is so dumb!" she exclaimed.

I started laughing. Yep - she's right. Silly meetings keep cropping up when I should be focused on the show.

She started apologizing for the comment right away - as tears of laughter were streaking down my cheek. She meant it's dumb that I have all those meetings - it just came out wrong...

It's kinda fun to think about my work life as just silly, ridiculous and at the moment dumb.

food

My metabolism is not what in once was.

I gained a few pounds after the trip to Hawaii and eating like hell working on a show that stressed me out. Stress used to make me skinny - now it makes me chunky. ARG.

So, the husband and I went on the South Beach diet. I know, I know - but it does work.

The first Phase is a hellish two weeks - which ends in 26 hours -thank god! Then I can eat fruit again and grain!

I realize that yes, shedding a few pounds (10 is the goal and i'm half way there) is a good idea. But changing my eating habits is really the reason to stick to it.

There are 4 coffee shops within walking distance from my office. I am a sucker for scones and any other sugary pastry that happens to call to me thru the glass. I would rather grab a candy bar than a piece of fruit... and let's not even mention the french fries and pizza addictions.

Now I am making hummus and eating fresh veggies. I'm thinking about what fabulous food I can cook. I love to cook. I still want pizza - but I'm going to whole wheat crust it and make it at home. I switched to Vegetarian refied beans years ago.. I can eat chocolate - but now in moderation (instead of inhaling it).

A decent exercise regime is next on the docket.

Now if I could just fine a low carb, sugar free scone that tastes good - life will be complete. And if I cold find a light sour cream that was good...

And if you think I am dieting on Thanksgiving - think again.

the city

I had a rude awakening the other day.

Since re-locating to Northern California, I have had a yearning to be in The City. Childhood memories of riding the Muni and Bart into the heart of downtown came flooding back. Strolling the streets, seeing theatre, and just the general vibe of a downtown core are still vivid in my mind.

I always wanted a Victorian house. Then I discovered what the going rate for even the most run-down decrepit ones... and I promptly realized I'd be able to buy an estate with two vineyards for that price.

But cost of living wasn't my rude awakening. Well, partly, since I know the place I'd like to live is completely out of reach...

It was the wall to wall houses. I had forgot how they are all butted up against each other. It was a wet day - and everything seemed a bit miserable.

There was no green.

No trees.

No bushes, unless they were caked in urine.

I was depressed...

like mommy...

This is about feminine hygiene products. So don't read if the topic makes you squeamish.

I remember when I was a kid - seeing my mom use a GIANT Kotex (early 70s). I thought we were all supposed to do that - so around the age of 4, I started folding up toilet paper and putting it in my undies.

My mother saw me do it one day and asked we what I was up to. I said, I wanted to be like Mommy.

She then got out the big 'Mother's Encyclopedia" and talked to me about female anatomy. A conversation that would have to be repeated around age 8 when I could more fully grasp the concepts of a reproductive system.

Tonight, I was attempting to have some private bathroom time - when in walks my two year old. She sees me using a similar - but now ultra thin - product.

She sees the package it came it. And demands to have one.

Okay, I'm curious. So I hand it to her.

She opens it up. Hands me the wrapper. She peals off the sticky part.

I ask her what she is going to do with it.

She replys "want it on my butt"

She then pulls her little jeans down and places it on her diaper. She pulls her jeans up and trots out into the living room - happy as a camper.

I think she might be too young for the birds and the bees conversation.

Think I need to get a lock for the bathroom door.

calls at dinner time

I think I am turning into a old cranky republican man...

Many many many years ago I donated money to a local Police Activities League. It was a phone solicitation and I felt that if my $15 bucks could help stop gang violence in LA by getting kids off the street - heck they can have it.

The following year (many many years ago) I give them $25. I do it the year after that too.

Each year I get a sticker for my car window - supporting the fund. Hmmm... I didn't get any tickets during those years.

Then it began. More phone solicitations - this time, from the Firefighter's Widows, Police Widows, different Police activities groups.

We move.

We change phone numbers.

We get on the "do not call" list.

They still find me.

Always at dinner time.

These are all good causes. Really. I should know. I always let them get thru their "script".

I try to tell them nicely that we have already given what we can afford to give this year. They employ the good 'ole - $15 is all we need - ploy. I try to explain (every time) that if I gave $15 to all the police/fireman organizations that call me, I couldn't make my mortgage.

I hang up - feeing awful. Every time. Damn, they're good.

But, then I get pissed. I gave to one group. Did they sell my name and phone number? OR am I on some sucker list somewhere? and hey, I don't live in LA anymore. And are these guys even non-profit organizations...

I have worked for non-profit all my adult life. I know how hard it is to raise money for a good cause. I know the importance of philanthropic giving.

When I got my promotion at work, the husband and I talked about what causes we would give money to this year. We came up with a list. It was an interesting exercise. You find out a lot about your partner and what is important to them when you talk about giving money. My fella is a good guy. I was impressed with his choices and why. Becomeing parents has changed our perspectives too.

If only we had a lot of money...

time warp

The last three times we visited the in-laws, a bizarre phenomena has occurred...

I take Soph upstairs around 8pm and lay on the bed with her until she is asleep and next thing I know the husband is waking me up and it is 10/10:30...

I then put on my Pjs and got to sleep until 7/8am when Soph wakes up... so basically 12 hours of sleep.

I hope they don't think I'm being anti-social.

But it is like a bizarre time bubble - I have no concept of time when we are there...

And even this trip when we kept showing Soph how the coo-coo clock worked - it seemed to chirp all the time and yet time seemed to go by so slowly...

way to much tv

I am driving to work today and listening to Terry Gross interviewing Dave Grohl (the drummer from Nirvana who started the Foo Fighters). I pulled into the local coffee drive thru place to get a latte (I am so bourgeois at times I make myself sick). Anyway, I missed some of the interview while I was ordering. I reached to my radio to rewind it. And then it hit me- you can't rewind live radio. I don't have TiVo in my car...

midnight

was the time she finally went to sleep.

Awake

My daughter has decided that it is better to be awake than asleep at 11pm. After rocking her to sleep (for an hour), I attempted to place her in her crib - only to have her wake up and Velcro herself to me. So, I gave up and took her to my bed. EYES WIDE OPEN. Then I am informed she is hungry. So, we give her some Os. Then she wants to watch "blue lady" dancing. Okay, we oblige. We make a deal. One Blue lady and then bed.

Now she is in our bed with her daddy (who is trying to give me a break so I can look at the catalog I love but can't afford anything in it.). I can hear her chatting up a storm in there.

The husband just walked out into the living room and Soph started chatting "momma! Mommma!".

Off I go...

Culinary Snob

Okay I admit it- I was eavesdropping. Well, it kinda hard not to when you tune into a high pitched little girly voice.

The husband and I were at a restaurant. We're both working from home today - so we got lunch together. And that's it (heavy sigh).

ANYWAY - I overheard this woman order "a bowl of mac and cheese, a small side of coleslaw and a Cornona". It took all of my willpower not to turn around and see what this woman looked like. She sounded 12.

At the end of our meal, I got up to use the lou and when I came back got a good look at the mac and cheese/beer drinking gal. Probably early 30s.

When I walked out of the restaunt with my honey - we giggled about her order - "odd" I said. And D said, "well, she had steak last night for dinner".

Looks like I am not the only one listening in.

commuter buddies

I used to work 5 minutes from my house. Really - I could make it to work in 2 songs on the radio.

Then we moved.
I had a baby.
We built a home office in the garage (well, my husband did this for me - he's a good guy -- it was either "build me a home office or read A ROOM OF ONE'S OWN" - he chose the former).

I soon after got a part-time job which as of this month has become full time. But it is a 45 minute - one hour commute...

When we moved, I re-connected with my big sister. She lives two hours away (the closest we've been geographically been since 1990). She and I found ourselves driving home from work around the same time. She had an hour commute as well. So began the cell phone conversations. And yes, I do have an ear piece.

She has since started her own business and works out of her home (lucky!). But she is still my commute buddy. Particularly when I am sitting in traffic. The good thing is, her life is much more dramatic than mine - so I just get to listen most of the time. There is nothing like real tales when you can't get NPR.