| You Are a Daisy |
 You see the world with an artist's eye. Finding beauty is easy for you - even in the dullest of moments. You notice all of the colors of the world, from fresh grass to sunsets. You are a total optimist and hedonist. You love to drink life in. |
Saturday, June 30, 2007
But today I am...
Monday, June 25, 2007
what flower am I?
| You Are a Carnation |
 You are down to earth and grounded. You tend to be more traditional than trendy. Your confidence gets you through anything. People trust you and are very loyal to you. |
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Father's Day gifts
My Father's Day gifts to my husband
a happy toddler with a chocolate smile
a right boob bigger than the left
a dog with a new haircut
and three and a half hours alone with his daughter because I had to work on father's day
a happy toddler with a chocolate smile
a right boob bigger than the left
a dog with a new haircut
and three and a half hours alone with his daughter because I had to work on father's day
Sunday, June 10, 2007
The Feminine Mistake
So, I have finally finished this book and I am, well, disappointed and yet exhilarated at the same time... how can this be? Before I get into the reasons for said disappointment, I need to say that the premise of the book is quite important and I completely understand and respect the value of such a treatise today.
The book talks about the dangers when women become financially dependent on their spouses by leaving the job pool to raise their children. I remember in high school, our next door neighbor left his wife for a younger woman. This wife had not worked in 15 years, had no job skills and was terrified. Yep - that is the fear. What do you do when your spouse leaves you or dies and you have no "current" or "marketable" skills, no money, etc. Or what happens if he loses his job? Our author quotes a lot of scary statistics - how hard it is for women to re-renter the work force after leaving even for a few years, how child support doesn't help cover costs; how ageist our society is about women; etc.
Although the author talks about interviews middle-class and lower-middle class families - the majority of her examples are upper class women with MBA from places like Princeton and Harvard who are married to successful lawyers, brokers, etc. This is where I have issue - and the main cause for my disappointment in this book. What about those of us in other professions? I am tired of the feminist movement targeting upper-class white women! I don't know anyone who isn't just scarping by - and I know professional women, waitresses, actors, doctors and teachers. And yes, I know a lot of women who have (in their late 30s/ early 40s) made the choice to stopped working to raise their children. Our author, a journalist, has the luxury (as do I - and it IS a luxury) of working from home and really creating her own hours. But a lot of women need to 9 to 5 it - so what of them? What of the families that need two incomes to just survive? I live in one of the most expensive places in the country - anywhere else we would have a five-bedroom home and all the latest amenities - and we're not wealthy AT ALL. We're comfortable - but I can't send my kid to a private school - or vacation at a lake house - like so may of the women sited in this book.
Back to the good of the book with some other interesting factoids: most women who give up their careers didn't really like them to begin with or were faced with a lot of stress/hostility perpetrated by their bosses and/or peers when they got pregnant; the way some men use the purse strings as a way of abusive control (we all saw the Joy Luck Club); women's ignorance about how hard it is to actually enter back in to the workplace after a absence of any length; empty nest syndrome; the depression that comes when the kids don't really "need" you hovering; the silence women feel they must keep when they LIKE their work and how women do not tout their own accomplishments because our society thinks women should be humble; success stories of women who did stay home but managed to keep a finger in the business world whether though volunteer work or other such things that made them still bankable upon their opting back in; the fact that we are living longer thus child-rearing is only a fraction of a woman's life span; how men with wives and families are viewed as "stable" employees but with women it is a liability.
It is in the latter chapters - if you don't get to frustrated with the sob stories of these wealthy ladies - that it gets interesting and accessible to all types of women. Statistic about working women and how they have less stress than stay-at-home Moms; the examples working/non-working sets for the children - if a mom can live off the father, why can't the kid?; statistics that children who go to day care are often brighter and more socially adept than children who do not and are just raised by stay-at-home moms; that working moms , on average, actually spend 2 hours MORE per week interacting with their children (in fact that statistic has increased for fathers too) than stay-at-home moms.
A chapter called Home Equity is about how women who work still do the majority of the housework. She sites examples that when men do help around the house it decreases stress for everyone. She discusses (I wish with more detail) the anger/frustration working women get when their partners do NOT help out. Another chapter talks about Men - how men want someone who is also the bread winner - someone who is an intellectual equal - and take the pressure off being the sole provider. But there are those men who want to have the wife dealing with the kids and household while they earn the $$$.
But perhaps the most frightening thing in this book is about how more and more women are getting Masters degrees, PHds, etc and then opting out and how this is effecting enrollment and admittence to major universities. If x% of the economics graduates are women - then why is x% of working economists women?. The idea of how women are conditioned to think about work as "jobs" and not "careers".
I admit that I just wanted something more from this book. I wanted to know HOW we can change the media coverage that makes women feel bad when they go back to work. This country has told women that if they have a baby-sitter they are bad moms; if they don't have food on the table waiting when everyone gets home from school that they have FAILED; if they don't keep a clean house, they're horrid. It's a load of bull that has been dished out. WHY? Is it the republican government and the Christian coalition that so permeated this country with old school 50s mentality of gender relationships. How can we change the working mom perception? Women are barraged with an enormous amount of guilt anyway - WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP IT.
I love my work. I love to do what I do. And I LOVE my daughter and I would die for her and do anything for her. Why can't I be both? This books says I can - thank you Leslie Bennetts! But, our culture gives me the evil eye. What can I do to stop people from asking me, "what are you going to do about the baby?" How can I stop my grandmother from saying she thinks its wrong that I'm at work? How can I stopped be judged for being a mother?
Leslie Bennets wrote this interesting article when her book came out - its worth a read.
I am reading Perfect Madness by Judith Warner next.
The book talks about the dangers when women become financially dependent on their spouses by leaving the job pool to raise their children. I remember in high school, our next door neighbor left his wife for a younger woman. This wife had not worked in 15 years, had no job skills and was terrified. Yep - that is the fear. What do you do when your spouse leaves you or dies and you have no "current" or "marketable" skills, no money, etc. Or what happens if he loses his job? Our author quotes a lot of scary statistics - how hard it is for women to re-renter the work force after leaving even for a few years, how child support doesn't help cover costs; how ageist our society is about women; etc.
Although the author talks about interviews middle-class and lower-middle class families - the majority of her examples are upper class women with MBA from places like Princeton and Harvard who are married to successful lawyers, brokers, etc. This is where I have issue - and the main cause for my disappointment in this book. What about those of us in other professions? I am tired of the feminist movement targeting upper-class white women! I don't know anyone who isn't just scarping by - and I know professional women, waitresses, actors, doctors and teachers. And yes, I know a lot of women who have (in their late 30s/ early 40s) made the choice to stopped working to raise their children. Our author, a journalist, has the luxury (as do I - and it IS a luxury) of working from home and really creating her own hours. But a lot of women need to 9 to 5 it - so what of them? What of the families that need two incomes to just survive? I live in one of the most expensive places in the country - anywhere else we would have a five-bedroom home and all the latest amenities - and we're not wealthy AT ALL. We're comfortable - but I can't send my kid to a private school - or vacation at a lake house - like so may of the women sited in this book.
Back to the good of the book with some other interesting factoids: most women who give up their careers didn't really like them to begin with or were faced with a lot of stress/hostility perpetrated by their bosses and/or peers when they got pregnant; the way some men use the purse strings as a way of abusive control (we all saw the Joy Luck Club); women's ignorance about how hard it is to actually enter back in to the workplace after a absence of any length; empty nest syndrome; the depression that comes when the kids don't really "need" you hovering; the silence women feel they must keep when they LIKE their work and how women do not tout their own accomplishments because our society thinks women should be humble; success stories of women who did stay home but managed to keep a finger in the business world whether though volunteer work or other such things that made them still bankable upon their opting back in; the fact that we are living longer thus child-rearing is only a fraction of a woman's life span; how men with wives and families are viewed as "stable" employees but with women it is a liability.
It is in the latter chapters - if you don't get to frustrated with the sob stories of these wealthy ladies - that it gets interesting and accessible to all types of women. Statistic about working women and how they have less stress than stay-at-home Moms; the examples working/non-working sets for the children - if a mom can live off the father, why can't the kid?; statistics that children who go to day care are often brighter and more socially adept than children who do not and are just raised by stay-at-home moms; that working moms , on average, actually spend 2 hours MORE per week interacting with their children (in fact that statistic has increased for fathers too) than stay-at-home moms.
A chapter called Home Equity is about how women who work still do the majority of the housework. She sites examples that when men do help around the house it decreases stress for everyone. She discusses (I wish with more detail) the anger/frustration working women get when their partners do NOT help out. Another chapter talks about Men - how men want someone who is also the bread winner - someone who is an intellectual equal - and take the pressure off being the sole provider. But there are those men who want to have the wife dealing with the kids and household while they earn the $$$.
But perhaps the most frightening thing in this book is about how more and more women are getting Masters degrees, PHds, etc and then opting out and how this is effecting enrollment and admittence to major universities. If x% of the economics graduates are women - then why is x% of working economists women?. The idea of how women are conditioned to think about work as "jobs" and not "careers".
I admit that I just wanted something more from this book. I wanted to know HOW we can change the media coverage that makes women feel bad when they go back to work. This country has told women that if they have a baby-sitter they are bad moms; if they don't have food on the table waiting when everyone gets home from school that they have FAILED; if they don't keep a clean house, they're horrid. It's a load of bull that has been dished out. WHY? Is it the republican government and the Christian coalition that so permeated this country with old school 50s mentality of gender relationships. How can we change the working mom perception? Women are barraged with an enormous amount of guilt anyway - WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP IT.
I love my work. I love to do what I do. And I LOVE my daughter and I would die for her and do anything for her. Why can't I be both? This books says I can - thank you Leslie Bennetts! But, our culture gives me the evil eye. What can I do to stop people from asking me, "what are you going to do about the baby?" How can I stop my grandmother from saying she thinks its wrong that I'm at work? How can I stopped be judged for being a mother?
Leslie Bennets wrote this interesting article when her book came out - its worth a read.
I am reading Perfect Madness by Judith Warner next.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Blue Light Special
Okay - yes I was in a KMART. I had to buy a bin to pack up some antiques to store in the garage. It's true. Plus, there is no Target within 20 miles - so... better KMART than Wallmart - am I wrong?
Anyway - so here I am, putting a bin in my "carriage" when over the loud speaker they announce the "blue light special". Of course I had to see what it was all about. I thought Blue Light Specials were urban legend. But, sure enough - a blue light flashes and a guy comes out to demo a product. It was this European Magic Shammy. But before they tell you what the "deal" is - you have to stand there for 20 minutes while the sales guys demos it and tells you want a fantastic deal "only you" will get for being a Kmart shopper. So the "deal" is really 2-for-1. And the product had a "as seen on TV" logo on it. Enough said.
Okay - not enough. As I walked away (without the product) over to the cheap kids clothes (hey - I'm a mom on a budget), I saw of the 20 or so folks gathered around that 75% of them bought the stuff. Of that 75%, I'd say 90% were over the age of 65 and female. Hmmm.
Did I tell you I'm reading a book called The Feminine Mistake? More on that after I finish it.
Anyway - so here I am, putting a bin in my "carriage" when over the loud speaker they announce the "blue light special". Of course I had to see what it was all about. I thought Blue Light Specials were urban legend. But, sure enough - a blue light flashes and a guy comes out to demo a product. It was this European Magic Shammy. But before they tell you what the "deal" is - you have to stand there for 20 minutes while the sales guys demos it and tells you want a fantastic deal "only you" will get for being a Kmart shopper. So the "deal" is really 2-for-1. And the product had a "as seen on TV" logo on it. Enough said.
Okay - not enough. As I walked away (without the product) over to the cheap kids clothes (hey - I'm a mom on a budget), I saw of the 20 or so folks gathered around that 75% of them bought the stuff. Of that 75%, I'd say 90% were over the age of 65 and female. Hmmm.
Did I tell you I'm reading a book called The Feminine Mistake? More on that after I finish it.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
work or mom
Having one of those - should I work or stay at home with my baby - kinda days. I just started working on a new play. My hours are long - because I have a 45minute to an hour commute one way. I just got an offer for another gig in January. And I may be doing something in November. I don't quite know how to feel.
I rocked my daughter to sleep tonight and it was the happiest I have been all day.
I rocked my daughter to sleep tonight and it was the happiest I have been all day.
work or mom
Having one of those - should I work or stay at home with my baby - kinda days. I just started working on a new play. My hours are long - because I have a 45minute to an hour commute one way. I just got an offer for another gig in January. And I may be doing something in November. I don't quite know how to feel.
I rocked my daughter to sleep tonight and it was the happiest I have been all day.
I rocked my daughter to sleep tonight and it was the happiest I have been all day.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
not preggers
Ahh - well we tried this month. I had a horrible dream last night, woke up and discovered there was not to be a baby in nine months. I'm sad. But, I was super stressed this last month - so I am not surprised. But looking forward to another month of trying... hmm... what fun we will have.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
vow to blog more
Can I commit to blogging more regularly? Hmmm... Fun ideas to write about hit me while I drive and then promptly leave my consciousness by the time I get to the lap-top. Perhaps I don't want to share... is that so wrong?
Today Soph ran around in some Dora the Explorer Pjs that some friends gave us (hand-me-down from her kids) and she quickly found a pair of Dora shorts (from of my mother) and put them on over her Pjs. BTW: she had on long Pj bottoms and Dora PJ shorts over those BEFORE putting on the regular Dora shorts... If only I could have found my camera. She loves that Dora.
Today Soph ran around in some Dora the Explorer Pjs that some friends gave us (hand-me-down from her kids) and she quickly found a pair of Dora shorts (from of my mother) and put them on over her Pjs. BTW: she had on long Pj bottoms and Dora PJ shorts over those BEFORE putting on the regular Dora shorts... If only I could have found my camera. She loves that Dora.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
memories
One of Soph's new favorite words is WHALE. So, I put in a video that had whales and other ocean creatures. Well, they showed a seal. And suddenly I remembered this momma seal and baby seal stuffed animal that I had as a kid. The baby was white and the momma was grey. I loved them and with Bernard (who I still have), I took them everywhere. Wow, I wonder what happened to them.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
my heart hurts
Yep, it does. My baby and my husband are 450 miles away and I miss them. I get to see them tomorrow and I know then I will be 100% better.
Friday, February 02, 2007
food
So, you don't have to be a REAL chef to get a show on the Food Network. Hmmm. That seems odd, huh?
Monday, January 22, 2007
A laugh
So I had to buy feminine hygiene products at a drugstore around midnight in New York. my best friend pointed out that in the same aisle that the maxi pads are - there are also those little sword toothpicks. Hmmmm...
Sunday, January 14, 2007
the cable
I cannot find the UBS cable for my digital camera. I took some of the cutest pictures today and I cannot download them. Its depressing because D is away and I want him to be able to see pictures of his daughter... Looks like a trip to Radio Shack. Goody goody.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Books Books and Books
I like to keep track of what I read. I used to keep it all on my PDA - but lost it all when I moved to my new (and much loved) Mac. So, here is a list of the books I read this year 2006 (well what I can remember reading).
Diary of a Lost Boy* by Harry Kondoleon
Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff, Jesus' Lifelong Pal* by Christoper Moore
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Life of Pi* by Yann Martel
Jitterbug Perfume* by Tom Robbins
The Magician's Assistant by Ann Prachet
The Eyre Affair* by Jasper Fjorde
Shopgirl by Steve Martin
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
*means I highly recommend it!
Now, those are books I read for the pleasure of the read - and also as part of the book club I started with my mommy group. I also read oodles of plays for work and non-fiction for research for shows. The list would be giant if I included the books on Eugene O'Neill and Bertorlt Brecht that I have been pouring thru as well as books on theatre theory... Maybe I'll include those next year.
My goal by my birthday 2007 is to have finished WAR AND PEACE. Wish me luck!
Diary of a Lost Boy* by Harry Kondoleon
Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff, Jesus' Lifelong Pal* by Christoper Moore
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Life of Pi* by Yann Martel
Jitterbug Perfume* by Tom Robbins
The Magician's Assistant by Ann Prachet
The Eyre Affair* by Jasper Fjorde
Shopgirl by Steve Martin
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
*means I highly recommend it!
Now, those are books I read for the pleasure of the read - and also as part of the book club I started with my mommy group. I also read oodles of plays for work and non-fiction for research for shows. The list would be giant if I included the books on Eugene O'Neill and Bertorlt Brecht that I have been pouring thru as well as books on theatre theory... Maybe I'll include those next year.
My goal by my birthday 2007 is to have finished WAR AND PEACE. Wish me luck!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Yule tide
From Wikipedia..
Yule is the winter solstice celebration of the Scandinavian Norse mythology and Germanic pagans. In Neopaganism, this celebration is largely reconstructed to various extents by various groups. In Wicca, a form of the holiday is observed as one of the eight solar holidays, or sabbats, where Yule is celebrated on the winter solstice: in the northern hemisphere, circa December 21, and in the southern hemisphere, circa June 21.
"Yule" and "Yuletide" (also see Yalda) are also archaic terms for Christmas, sometimes invoked in songs to provide atmosphere. Indeed, this is the only meaning of "Yule" accepted by either the full Oxford English Dictionary or the Concise Oxford Dictionary, and people unfamiliar with ancient Norse mythology's pagan traditions will not distinguish between Yule (Joul) and Christmas. This usage survives in the term "Yule log"; it may also persist in some Scottish dialects. In Denmark, Norway and Sweden the term "jul" is still the most common way to express Christmas, as well as "joulu" in Finland and "jõulud" in Estonia.
What is certain, is that Yule celebrations at the winter solstice predate Christianity, and though there are numerous references to Yule in the Icelandic sagas, there are few accounts of how Yule was actually celebrated, beyond the fact that it was a time for feasting. 'Yule-Joy', with dancing, continued through the Middle Ages in Iceland, but was frowned upon when the Reformation arrived. It is, however, known to have included the sacrifice of a pig for the god Freyr, a tradition which survives in the Scandinavian Christmas ham.
The confraternities of artisans of the 9th century, which developed into the medieval guilds, were denounced by Catholic clergy for their "conjurations" when they swore to support one another in coming adversity and in business ventures. The occasions were annual banquets on December 26,
- "feast day of the pagan god Jul, when it was possible to couple with the spirits of the dead and with demons that returned to the surface of the earth... Many clerics denounced these conjurations as being not only a threat to public order but also, more serious in their eyes, satanic and immoral. Hincmar, in 858, sought in vain to Christianize them" (Rouche 1987, p. 432).
Thursday, December 21, 2006
And I can't help...
...lovin' that man of mine. A friend told me that when the baby is between 15-19 months - things can get pretty intense with couples - stressful that is. So, here are ten reasons why I love my husband today, in no particular order:
1. He did the laundry.
2. He says he loves me every time we talk on the phone - no matter who is in the room with him.
3. He pretends not to know what I bought him for Christmas.
4. He introduced me to the Simpsons (the cartoon) almost 13 years ago and we laugh like hell at it.
5. He tries really hard to distract the baby so I can take a shower. He really does.
6. He brings in firewood and takes out the garbage.
7. He just looked really sexy when I watched him (from my car) buying new tires for his car...
8. He loves the baby.
9. He waits for me to get home so we can open the holiday cards together.
10. He's brilliant and doesn't flaunt it.
1. He did the laundry.
2. He says he loves me every time we talk on the phone - no matter who is in the room with him.
3. He pretends not to know what I bought him for Christmas.
4. He introduced me to the Simpsons (the cartoon) almost 13 years ago and we laugh like hell at it.
5. He tries really hard to distract the baby so I can take a shower. He really does.
6. He brings in firewood and takes out the garbage.
7. He just looked really sexy when I watched him (from my car) buying new tires for his car...
8. He loves the baby.
9. He waits for me to get home so we can open the holiday cards together.
10. He's brilliant and doesn't flaunt it.
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